Would getting involved with this guy like being a girlfriend bring me stress? Should I just stay friends?

[laurlaur101]

Right now I am on the fence about this guy I’ve known him for a year and I consider him a friend at the same time I feel that he likes me more than a friend but not admitting it I would give him a chance because he is nice and we have fun being together but the weird thing is he doesn’t take me out anywhere he comes to swim and texts me daily we are only friends for now, but I’m afraid to get involved more than that because I sense this mysterious vibe not knowing what he’s up to either bullshitting me or could be lying. I’m definitely on high alert I do enjoy his company and his friendship I’m just very hesitant getting involved further because of his ways sometimes he says things but doesn’t follow up on it that stuff is kinda annoying to me I just don’t know what to do. Is being friends with him a good idea or should I avoid him completely? I don’t want to feel stress I’m not stressed out since I’m barely involved I’m just his friend I worry about people’s motives in general. I heard from others that he went from one girl to the next. With me his ways seemed to change he seemed to be stepping up a little bit but I don't know if I trust him to actually be a girlfriend to him so what do I do?

[razelove]

It sounds like you're going to do it regardless. I'd say to trust your instincts on that one, if someone doesn't say what they mean, and do what they say, generally they aren't worth your time.

Sounds like you're being your best you and trying to tie down Chad from being a friends with benefits though. It sounds like a futile effort, but do what you're going to do anyway, just bear in mind that he's under no pressure to give you anything.

He gets you to come over whenever he texts regardless... so what exactly would change for him? If anything I'd expect that there would be more expectations from you.

[SnowedIn]

Don't do anything. Not because of any red flag but because you're hesitant. Stay friends for now. Sounds like you're not hinting for a boyfriend and you guys get along well. So the change is going to be a name for your relationship and sex. So, stay friends. Either you're going to get to the point where you don't feel hesitant and stress or that feeling won't go away. While it exists, honor it.

[ShesRad80]

if you are hesitating you already know the answer. your intuition is telling you not to proceed further then friends

[WhitneySnow]

Trust your intuition. Stay friends but don’t be more than friends, at least for now.

[laurlaur101]

I definitely need to know him more and find him up

[ImalwaysrightOK]

You don't mention if you're attracted to him or not. It's important. If you're not, definitely don't get involved as a girlfriend. Only you can decide if you think he'd make a good friend or even boyfriend. If it's no, then cut loose from him.

[MementoMori777]

if you think you have a chance, you shouldn't give up before giving it a shot

[laurlaur101]

I’m afraid if I let my guard down and give in to a relationship with him he will hurt me because goes from one girl to the next maybe he will cheat I don’t want to be in that position than I’ll be mad at myself saying I should’ve known why did I do this it will be too late I’ll regret it so I think I should hold off I need more time to find him out more I like being his friend rn he’s friends with me too if someone has that reputation they may not change if he flirts with other people I can’t control that I want to be able to have trust I need to be convinced of that I’m on alert and giving benefit of the doubt maybe he would change for me I don't know there’s no way to know that he says nice things says I’m a 10/10 for looks and good personality I just want it to be serious

[MementoMori777]

you seem to be moving smart, i respect that, do what you gotta do, secure the bag before you reach for it, i completely agree 💯

[laurlaur101]

Definitely I rather be friends with people first so I can get to know them and be comfortable with them than decide if I want to proceed to the other direction I feel that this is the best way to handle it, but if I’m just friends with the guy I have nothing to worry about right? I hope not

[MementoMori777]

indeed, very smart girl, if more women did this, it would make it harder for them to get taken advantage of, im sure you'll know when you do Laura.

[Spongebobssocks]

sounds like a good idea. cause you already know him

[lorenzomichael]

Listen it depends on how attractive you are. Because a guy can never have a female friend that's attractive unless he's gay.

[mommymommymommy]

no such thing as "just friends", you're only proving it

[In_Trance]

Don't bother