How likely is it that a 30 year old/middle aged man who isn’t mature will never mature?

[Anonymous]

I was dating a man who is 33. I’m 25. I think I have maturing to do but it blows my mind that he would still have to “learn” things that even I at 25 feel I already know such as treating people with compassion, being sensitive to your partners needs and being willing to grow. It made me think that if he isn’t mature by now he won’t ever be. I left him and some part of me in the back of my mind hoped he would see that he was losing me and could be willing to change. But then I thought that he is at an age where he possibly knows that what he is doing isn’t beneficial to the relationship and simply does not care or doesn’t see anything wrong with it. I’m not asking if I should have hope I’m genuinely asking if it’s possible or how likely is it that a man his age would “grow up”. At this point he is past the developmental stage so he’s just operating from what he knows. Of course we’re always growing and adapting, we are a species that constantly evolves but in my case I worry that he is not even capable of maturing

[KiraDaniels]

I have dated older men thinking they would be more mature. Men in their 30s that acted like children, men in their 50s that couldn’t let go of their youth. So I think it all comes down to the person, if he has never shown that he has the capability of growing up then he might not. Some men just don’t. I was in a 7 year relationship with a man that called me “mom #2” to this day he has not grown up and shows no sign of doing it. There are good men out there that will be for you and show you the stability that you need.

[inhua]

what are you doing for him?

it's easy to criticize him for not "placating to your needs" whatever that means.

is he refusing to give up a certain job? or give up on his friends? or give up on his parents? give up on his hobbies? is that why he's not mature because you aren't prioritized first over the others?

[DextroShade]

You talked a lot of shit about this man but you never gave any specific examples of things he did so it makes me think you are just yet another woman who is full of shit and refuses to take accountability.

[Asker]

He told me he didn’t care about me being depressed even though there was a time he admitted to being depressed and I was there for him and I constantly put my feelings to the side because of what his feelings were. He also refused to do anything special for me on Valentine’s Day or any special occasion even though I did something special for him every occasion including his birthday spending hundreds and I expected reciprocation. Whenever he needs anything from money to help with a task I volunteer and when I need anything he is not someone I can depend on. So the only accountability I need to take is to just leave. The last thing I expected is for a stranger to fix my problems but it’s really weird to just assume things about people just because they didn’t tell the whole story.

[Asker]

He also can’t communicate without cursing and arguing. Maybe because I did love this person I didn’t want to talk about him like a bad person but telling my side isn’t just complaining I’m just saying what happened.

[Asker]

He complains that his problems is bills so I offered to help with his bills even though I have bills as well just so that the problem could be solved. He was too prideful to accept the help which I understand but then the problem stayed unfixed because he didn’t want to accept my help but it hurt and made me lose respect for him that after showing him how much I was willing to be there for him that he would say he didn’t care that I was facing depression. I’m a good person and I give my all to everything and the thing is that I know I need to grow up but I’m willing to listen to constructive criticism. But I am still in my 20s. This is a 30 something year old man that I’m dealing with who doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions apparently. He has said offensive jokes and then caused me of just being too sensitive when I say I don’t like them instead of just saying he was sorry. He took my kindness for weakness

[DextroShade]

The only real issues I see here are the finances and him not being able to control his emotions. I would not fault you for leaving a broke, emotional man.

[Anonymous]

Most men don't mature till at least 30 and many don't mature at all. Some of the most immature men you see online, including here, are 50+ and should know better.

[exitseven]

He could still exhibit some maturation but I would not expect miracles

[DarkWinterNights]

I’ve actually come to the conclusion that most people don’t ever emotionally mature.

[barn_stormer]

why are you asking about someone you already dumped

[Anonymous]

He won't, see I'm in my mid-20's looking up pensions and funeral plans because I'm old at heart

[Cheerfull009]

No problem, you teach him

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆