Why Do Men Pay And Later Complain About It?

Question

if a person pays after themselves, that's more than good enough. just so we're clear.  I see guys here too much into the conservative roleplaying, of the breadwinner and the protecter, which yes, my god, it does mean  that a man's gotta pay so the woman can look pretty, build a house and children with him, be his home maker etc etc.  so if you want a traditional person to date — yes you've gotta pay the price. conservative mindset basically says there can only be one supporter, and that's a man. second of all, men feel insecure when we pay. never happened to me, but one of my friends who's a serial dater — she pays for her boys, and that's weird for men. im serious. they wonder if she's a w**** which makes me wonder, would you guy rather pay for sex? hmm

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Haha love this Question
Because you are 100% right

But I don't understand is a man ask a woman to go out on a date they go out they have a nice dinner and he looks at her and he wants to know where her money is I say Bullshit
And then he wants some wine and cry about it here's the deal

For me anyway I ask a girl out it's because I want to go out with her I want to go have a good time with her it's because I'd like her I'm interested in her she has everything that I like that's the reason why I'm asking her out why in the world would I want her to pay for her meal no not even I will pay for her meal because I asked her out even if she asked me out I would still pay for her no because that's just who I am that's why I work is to have money to do the things that I want to do with it if I was eating with another couple and the guy made his girlfriend pay or the girl that he was with a I would be so embarrassed I would just grab the whole check and go pay the whole thing and then beat his ass later it's ridiculous you don't take a girl out you don't go anywhere with a girl not unless you're going to pay unless you have the money to pay so you don't have to cry about it my God I would be so embarrassed if I asked a girl to pay I mean I would be totally embarrassed I could never ever do that I like her so why am I not going to pay I want to show her a good time why am I not going to pay I'm old school or something I don't know but it makes me sick to listen to these cry babies on here wine about the girl not paying I don't understand it never will understand it and really I don't even have to worry about it because I would never go there if you can't afford to take out a girl and pay for her night then don't go out

ProbablyClueless · Accepted Answer

The problem isn't the fact we paid, the problem is the complete disregard so many women show for the time, effort, and work we put into making dates happen. It's an appreciation and respect thing (not even necessarily sexual) where women just blatantly disregard men's feelings and use us for a free meal. Just totally take for granted how much goes into giving her a relaxing evening to enjoy her company.

Like I said; it's truly not a sexual thing, like 95% of the time. Most men don't generally feel owed sex for paying for dinner. It's literally just that we want some basic acknowledgement and appreciation for the fact that, not only did we put all the time and effort in to plan the evening, but we also put hours of work in to finance the evening, and we have the opportunity cost of talking with her and actually going on the date and spending the time with her; a woman who is wasting our time so she can save a few bucks on her grocery bill this week.

What women see as a 2 or 3 hour evening at a decent eatery requires a good 6+ hours of effort (including wage earning time at work) to make the date happen, and however many hours of opportunity cost invested into the conversation leading up to the date, and the time spent on the date itself. And then there's just the fact that we got our hopes up about a girl who took advantage of our feelings.

When that kind of thing happens 5-6 times, it's not hard to see how someone might get a little bit resentful about it.

WiccanLady2023 · Accepted Answer

In  what country   or better yet  what century  are you referencing "conservative mindset basically says there can only be one supporter, and that's a man" Seeing as women have always worked in some degree or another. Farmers had wives who made pies, cured hides, etc. and importantly helped manned the stalls at market.  Sailors had wives who made necklaces, jewelry and other things that were sold on the street or at market or taken by sailors to sell elsewhere. Coal miners had wives who made bedsheets, pillows, curtains, rugs and other sellable materials from items like mine muslin.  Women who had some degree of education made extra money tutoring, schooling others children, etc. Many women gathered, dried and sold herbs. In small or remote towns people went to and paid WISE WOMEN / herbologists before as any doctor usually was days away.  The list proving that women have ALWAYS worked is endless.  So again  what country & what century  are you referencing?  As even in 1700s-1800s colonial USA business & property owning women had more voting power than men who rented/not owned. As in such men's votes meant nothing.  . I do know women sit & do nothing Was a very common claim by feminists and their peers back in the day but many of them were nothing more than what we call golddiggers nowadays. Married to affluent or wealthy men - and so they did not have to work.  People would be very dullwitted to think if feminists were poor anyone would've cared

petitedollbabee · Accepted Answer

I’m not sure. I’ve been on dates with men, who’ve gotten upset when I offer to split the bill in half. But then other men have gotten upset when they pay for the whole bill, and other men who get upset when  you  cover the whole bill. You can’t win. Which is why I discuss it with them before going on the date - how will we pay for the date? If they get upset by talking about it prior to the date, then I cancel the date and save myself the trouble. I don’t have tolerance for that sort of immaturity.

provokeesmokee · Answer

Because many men have not been able to deprogram themselves from the consequences of women not having equal rights for generations. They still act like women have no choice but to rely on a man. Especially the dedicated Conservative Tradhusband LARPers.

So now that women don't need men to have money, get a job, or own property, most have lost all idea of what their purpose is.

They were told to go be a provider, but then they were told paying for women is "feminism" and thus bad. So now, they complain about both.

Fortunately the men who have adapted and DON'T complain, or only complain if you go above their communicated budget, are out there.

They're just not Conservative LARPers.

Lionman95 · Answer

I think guys mainly complain for two reasons:

1. They asked for more than they could handle when they said they´d pay the bill. The bill was more expensive than thex expected or they didn´t enjoy the date and therefore regret paying.

2. They had experiences that made them feel used. In a way that she might not responded in a way of appreciation or took for granted that the bill is his to pay in some way. I´m not saying it´s the norm but there are surely some women out there who go on dates just to get a cheap meal while having 0 interest in guy they go out with.

RealMarek · Answer

I’m sure some guys complain or figure out ways to make the question of who pays for what awkward. The reality is that there are many different opinions on this and where a woman’s cultural background matters too. My approach was always to pay, but not to refuse to split the bill if a woman offered, and not to make how to pay for dates a huge deal. Traditional or conservative women don’t all handle this the same way. Some of them recognize the economy has changed such that almost everyone has to work just to get by, and will, at least after a few dates, offer to help with the cost of dates.

Agape93 · Answer

Men controlled society for most of human history.
Men set the standards of conduct for how they behave, and fiercely promoted and adhered to it for decades.
But now Men seem to enjoy blaming us, for expecting them to follow the rules and conduct they created and utilized for decades.

All Men? No. Just the ones who love to complain about it with 0 understanding of why that can and often is the case.

AimeeKyle · Answer

My short answer: Men complaining about paying would be for a few reasons….
1. They are insecure, cheap bastards that want to use negativity as a control mechanism….

Or

2. There is no or minimal reciprocation/appreciation of what the guy is paying for (or respect for the guy himself). From my POV, this is usually caused by a female that wants it both ways…. be in total control/in charge and still wanted to be treated like a supported/feminine woman. (probably not saying/coming out of my brain perfectly?)

Or

3. The guy has no “real” or long term interest in the female.

(hopefully no one is complaining about paying early on in a relationship…whatever happened to courtship)

Grovermint · Answer

An unfortunate part of life is that people do not express their wants, needs, and desires as they should, openly and early. In an ideal world, both parties should express their expectations on who pays and for the scenario. It's understandable to want to split if they don't quite know whether he or you would want to continue after the first date or the subsequent dates that lead to being together.

My suggestion is that in the future, you ask the man what he would prefer to do. Then, make your decision from there.

Billlewis · Answer

I've never done that, but I'm sure a lot of guys do complain after the fact about paying for a date.

Unit1 · Answer

Why not just split the bill? No one with a sensible personality would get a terrible aftertaste from it. I don't understand either of these men. Perhaps I am not a  man .

Anno2 · Answer

People just like to complain, had countless of times where I asked if it's any trouble at all and they say no no. And then I hear them complain to a third person how much of a hassle it was for them.

EmyyWolf · Answer

Never been in a date. but I’m guessing they complain because 1: they’re broke  2: they’re cheap 3: they don’t like you romantically  4: they only wanted the sex

shortster · Answer

I think that f-boys complain because they think that paying for a date is like paying a prostitute. That mindset is toxic and unmanly.

scooogy · Answer

There's a scene in "How I met your mother" where Ted assumes his date to do the "bill dance" just because he was willing to pay. Sounds exaggerated, but offers shouldn't be taken for granted.

MementoMori777 · Answer

It doesn't make sense on why they pay to complain, I don't have an answer

Truthatanycost · Answer

I don't date... they will have to get their free food elsewhere...

backdoorman · Answer

Men don't complain about paying. They complain about the fact that in 2023 they are still expected to pay.

Z1pTD · Answer

I don't know it's dumb. For me I enjoy paying for my date because it's how I was raised 🤷 it's not something to complain about lol

RingOfFire · Answer

"Why Do Men Pay And Later Complain About It?" The sex was bad? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BigDog1989 · Answer

why does anyone complain about anything Why do you think GAG exists?

Confused_About_Girls · Answer

Men don’t pay for sex. We pay the woman to leave after the sex.

Hithere4567 · Answer

Because those men suck.

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