Why do people act like being a "simp" is a bad thing?

Question

I don't get why its such a bad thing to be a simp like being "too nice" to women is something bad? Just seems like a lot of straight men use this word to belittle men that treat women right because they are pieces of shit that treat women badly.

They'd rather get validation from other men by not being a simp... like doesn't that just make them not straight? Wouldn't they rather the validation from a woman.

It's all so weird like men it's okay to simp for a woman (especially your woman). It doesn't make y'all weak or less manly to treat a woman nicely/want her attention. I'd rather my man be a simp, treat me like a queen and want validation from me and not worry about what men think.

Simp definition:“'Simp' is slang for a person (typically a man) who is desperate for the attention and affection of someone else (typically a woman).

Urban Dictionary's top definition of a simp is “someone who does way too much for a person they like.”

TCredo · Accepted Answer

I've never understood it either. Even years ago before the word "simp", the notion persisted. But being nice to a woman - especially one you are fond of - to me, is only natural and proper. It does not make you less of a man - but, in my opinion, more of one.

P. S. It's even possible there are some on here who might read my reply and say I am being a "simp" to you... which would make me laugh ha :)

OfMiceandMen · Accepted Answer

I believe every guy has to be a simp to some degree, if they want to have a real loving relationship with a women. Nothing wrong with treating her right.

Those guys that beat their chest, say I am man - hear me roar, put down other guys for showing affection and expect the woman to be the simp all the time, are most likely single most of the time.

WiccanLady2023 · Answer

The behavior of a simp has NO value to both men & real women.

Because, literally, a simp is no different than a sniveling boot licking employee begging at the hand of their boss for a pay raise when doing nothing to deserve it.

As for what sort of women would like "this" demeaning behavior

DOES NOT LIKE > Real women, with self respect / esteem & good personalities, who do not need someone fueling their egos because well... nobody confident does... do NOT like this behavior. Because it is demeaning to both women and men alive.

LIKES > Women who are insecure, lack in self respect/esteem & have not good personalities (thinking they have value being overly attractive/cheap & pursued by many) like it because it fuels their petty little egos.

.

Now addressing the idea of being nice to a woman.

As a guy doing nice things for someone he loves is entirely different from a simp. Not even in the same category.

This is natural, has meaning, is important and builds an important bond between man and woman. This is unique care meant for a special woman, not meant for any dimwitted cheap-ass tart that happens to show them a little attention (like a simp).

Similarly a guy being nice to a woman - e. g. her grab something at the top shelf at the grocery store - is natural, an indication of proper upbringing, and without thought.

.

DaveJord · Answer

I do not just think being nice to a woman makes a guy a simp. I am not sure what the technical definition of the term is, but most men would agree with the Urban Dictionary definition.

It's one thing to be in a real committed relationship with a woman, and to do things to make her happy because it makes you happy as a man to see your woman happy. This all good as long as it all being done within a healthy way.

But some men, have an unhealthy level or self-esteem and when the woman in the relationship become to domineering it can create unhealthy relationships. Simps will put up with this away too long and sacrifice too much of themselves before they find any level of self-respect and stand up to the woman. So, a guy that goes way above and beyond to pacify a woman, no matter the level of self-sacrifice or personal cost to themselves... he's a simp.

Some guys, pander after women bending over backwards for them, doing favors for them, buying or paying for things... because they think it's going to improve their chances of getting laid. Even after the woman has said she just wants to be freinds. These guys are the true simps and makes self-respecting men cringe.

Simps, and I mean true simps, fail to realize they just being taken advantage of, and being used by these women. Because they have no backbone or real self esteem.

ManOnFire · Answer

I hear your concerns, but yes, being a simp really is a bad thing. Not necessarily when you're being one for your girlfriend/wife like you said, but when you're a guy who is overly nice to any woman, you actually present yourself as a man who is either looking for praise from women, is hoping to date them, or thinking that being very nice and giving to them will make them love him. Unfortunately this is an epidemic in today's modern men but mostly the younger generation of them.

It's also bad because women who can see how simpy a guy is will often try to use him if/when she wants. For anything. If she's seeing that he really likes her and he's eager to give to her, she will try to take advantage of that and might even try to make him think he can get sex at some point. Having a guy who worships their feet, gives them tons of attention, and even gives them things is exactly what a lot of lowlife women of today want from men. And this is why being a simp is bad. A man can love a woman and treat her sweetly just fine, but he also has to have self-respect and boundaries and make it clear that he won't let her use or walk all over him.

Levin · Answer

in my opinion, those definitions of simp aren't accurate.

A rather unPC but I think better one is Suckas Idolising Mediocre Pussy.

No one is saying one should not be nice to a woman, attentive, caring, etc, for a girl who deserves it.

The main issue is women not acting respectful or like morally half decent human beings, and then expecting some kind of superior treatment by virtue of being a woman (with no virtue). But worst of all is the men who who treat women who aren't princesses as princesses, again, when they have no moral foundation and don't deserve it.

Often these women will be taking advantage of these men's weaknesses, offering little in the way of return (such as whoring for compliments, having an only fans, streaming expecting tips, subscriptions etc.) The woman is effectively using these men, rinsing them and giving them nothing back.

It's a tragedy because a lot of these men could do so much better if they actually respected themselves. So many are living in abject loneliness. They enable bad female behaviour.

Unfortunately we're dealing with low human intelligence, so people don't take the time to learn proper definitions and the essence of something. Next time someone says that tell them they don't even know what a simp is.

CALIGVLA · Answer

Simps, as a rule, are guys who are either actual incels or guys who think they would be incels if they didn't accept to be abused in a toxic relationship by the women who chose them as victims. In any case, they are total losers, so of course other men have no respect for them. Not even the "simps" respect themselves, let alone women and other men.

As I said, all those guys have huge flaws. Some are extremely ugly. Some have unsolved things in the closet. Some have a micropenis. Some were abused when they were a child and became confused to the point of mistaking abuse for an expression of love. Some have a Dependent Personality Disorder.

But they all have an extremely low self-esteem. They all lack dignity and self-respect. They all think they're not worthy of female attention because of their flaws and try to compensate it with worshipping the ground a woman walks on.

How can I say that those f*ck ups are normal men? No! They're mentally challenged and vulnerable people, they need to overcome their traumas and build a healthy identity. You're not helping them if you think they're okay.

Hanrej · Answer

I'm gonna try to be as honest as I can, speaking from experience of both simping and hating on simping. Simping gets you nowhere, sure you could land the girl of your dreams but every other dream goes down the drain.

Did you ever dream of a career? Not unless your girl allows you the time and understands your frustration getting there.

Ever dreamed to shape your life the way you want it? Not gonna happen if you care more about what someone else want over your own needs.

Hobbies? Friends? Excitement? Peace? Not unless she says so.

The problem about simping is that usually men are able to ignore their own wants and needs only for a certain amount of time. Most wait patiently thinking that a full show of affection will eventually be reflected back and he'll have his way every now and then. That's rarely if ever gonna happen once she's used to a guy who simps. Some guys genuinely want the same things his girl does and on those unicorn-rare occasions simping might work but for most part simps snap somewhere down the line when they realize just how much time and effort went into making someone happy who didn't care one bit for him in turn. Some simps are ok being controlled because they lack wants and any sense of ambition but those guys usually gets dumped once the girl realize that Yeah, she may have someone who does her bidding but he'll never be a capable man or able to keep up with her growing ambition.

As for being acknowledged by other men well... In society one owns power and influence is derived from admiration. A man who's not admired or respected have little or no help from others. Simping is especially dangerous to a person who has no other support. A man like that is going to reduce himself for her until he is of no use and eventually become entirety dependent on her wich is something I know women find off putting.

Anonymous · Answer

How come they don't have a name for a girl/woman that treats a guy nice and respects him? If a guy treats a girl with respect and does nice things for her and loves being with her they say he's pussy whipped. Why is everything one-sided when it comes to boys/men? You'll probably think she's only 17 what does she know? I used to hate boys,/men because of something that happened too me when I was little. Then I met my boyfriend and him and I have similar issues that we deal with which made realize that boys and men have feelings just like us girls do. Since then I boys more as people with feelings and deserve respect as much as girls do. I've seen girls in school do things too boys that if a boy ever did to a girl he would be expelled. But girls get away with it. When I see this happen I stand up for the boy. I know you asked a simple question I just felt that I had to give more of an explanation of how I feel about nice guys. Sorry for rambling on.

Juxtapose · Answer

Because these men get used and the women usually have no respect for them. It's putting someone on a pedestal, undeserved and devaluing attention men give women.

I love kissing ass, I have STRONG simp tendencies but you better believe I am not gonna kiss ass without also getting my ass kissed. I want someone who is crazy for me too. Giving my service to a woman who doesn't respect or love me is pathetic.

Anonymous · Answer

It's another stupid term that people made up. How many movies are out there where girls fawn over the 6 ft 4, muscular dude in a movie or even walking down the street. People will read this and say, oh whatever dude that's totally different! A simp is a guy who has no backbone and does whatever a girl says. It's funny when I hear or read responses like that because it does not make any sense. Even if I like a girl and want to do something romantic. Some girls have told me "I like a guy who's a simp" and basically I asked why? Girls said, they think it's cute when a guy gushes over her and shows interest. I was told but if it becomes stalker vibes or obbesive then it becomes weird.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

It can be good and it can be bad. I often see it being bad because the guy (or girl) is being overly nice and goes out of his or her way to make your life more convenient without getting anything in return, while hoping to get something in return. I see it as desperate or needy when the other person barely acknowledges you. They do so many things for a person who did little to deserve it. That's why I think it's bad.

The other side is when he's been very good to you, so you do your best to be very good to him. Healthy Simping 😅

Mangospacho · Answer

Yeah, I always thought simping were guys who were trying to win the affection of these e-girls who were just using them for money. Now, the red-pill guys just expanded it to mean anything nice or sacrificial you do for a woman, even your wife, without getting anything immediately in return.

provokeesmokee · Answer

Ok, but being a decent person or being supportive is not simping.

Simping is defined by the parasocial nature and one-sided obsession on the part of a man who probably doesn't even exist or is known to the object of his obsession.

Simping is made simping because it's an obsession that will drive people to the weirdest shit (like buying bath water or white knighting on Twitter).

A dude just being a decent dude isn't simping. Nor is it anything to celebrate. It's just a guy being a guy, doing normal, well-adjusted guy things.

ohsheeT · Answer

I don't even know what that word means and I don't even care

If I'm around a woman and I see that she needs help with something of course I'm going to help her

I mean no matter what if I see that that person needs help with any kind and I'm there I will help her

But if you call me there to help you just to see if you can get me to do it I will know the difference
And the odds are I will walk away but if there is a true reason I will help you I don't care what anybody says that's just who I am

But if you try to take my kindness as weakness just because that's who you are I probably wouldn't even show up

Billlewis · Answer

I think it's because they're unable to appreciate why so many guys genuinely enjoy humbling themselves to a beautiful woman whom they know they have no chance of being intimate with.

Lionman95 · Answer

It is something bad because it turns the guy into a doormat. It might be something bad for her but it´s something that is bad for his personal self esteem. There´s a difference between treating a woman and doing anything she wants while neglecting yourself and your own goals and life choices.
Simping is more than being chilvarious it´s giving up your life for the hope that it would save your relationship. The problem of a simp is that he´s not depending on a woman´s appreciation something a gentleman wouldn´t do.
To be fair though from a far and online it might seem like the same behavior the difference can better be experienced than described.

MementoMori777 · Answer

Nowadays many people confuse simps with normal good respectful men, there's men that respect women and appreciate them but at the same time don't have a problem setting them straight when they are wrong which is how anyone should and it's what makes someone a good person at the end of the day, a simp is a guy that kisses a woman's ass no matter the situation and even let them destroy themselves in fear of getting on that woman's bad side so they rather kiss their ass and have no spine than to correct the woman which is pathetic behavior, it feeds more into toxicity than anything else and the saddest part it's because they deep down believe the woman would give them a chance and sleep with them because they are kissing the woman's ass.

EricSummer · Answer

Simp and beta male are mainly used as demeaning words for the sexually active majority of men who have only one woman over a long time.

In manosphere theories it is claimed that women go for the top 20% of men. This is not in line with reality as 80% of men have sex. All these other men must therefore be simps or betas who are weaseling their way into a woman's panties bribing her with their resources and attention.

They do not achieve the manosphere ideal of free hookups with hot women without commitment. This does not take into account that about 20% of men want sex only in caring relationships and would refuse casual sex. These would then be seen as natural simps beyond any hope I suppose.

chicosuave · Answer

its the same as women been horny sluts in front of their female friends sleeping and making out with every guy they go the bar or a public place with. for women its frowned upon to be slutty in front of their other females friends or their reputation will get destroyed. its the same for guys. there's so many simps out there but no guy should ever worship women. of course your ok with it because you love the attention. but its not ok. this is the reason why so many women are what they are today. they always think its greener on the other side because they have been worshipped to think they are a unicorn in the desert. this is why you will see so many single people but with social media its going to get worse with the years. being a simp is too feminine and it goes against our nature.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Genuinely being nice isn't being a simp, but it's when you do it in hopes of her showing you attention even if it means losing your own self-respect. It's just fake, which is different from being genuinely nice.

If I like a girl, then I will definitely be nice to her and treat her better than other's to an extent. However, I'll still voice my opinion or a boundary even if it means her no longer being into me, since I am still going to be myself. If we're not compatible, then that's fine. A simp wouldn't treat a girl like that and acts like a guy who'd lie just to sleep with a woman.

Anyway, I feel cringy as hell having to talk matter-of-factly about the definition of the word 'simp' 😂

RagnarRedbeard · Answer

It’s less about men treating women well, and more about one-sided effort.

Have you ever had a female friend who has put all of her effort into trying to please a guy who doesn’t give her the same effort in return for whatever reason? Who doesn’t respect her and treat her well in return?

If so you probably told her to get rid of the guy and find someone who values her. You wanted her to develop self-respect and stop being treated like a doormat by men.

A simp is the male version of that.

Why do people act like being a "simp" is a bad thing?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said