Are these Red flags?

Question

My boyfriend said (jokingly?) that he cannot take me anywhere, because guys stare at me a lot. We were at the beach and men stare and stare

Also one guy, selling fruits, came closer to us to stare at me closer

Another time, one girl said im too gorgeosu for y boyfriend. Another time other woman also at the beach said im a sexy girl

Is he jealous? once he told me he smashed a beer bottle on other mans head, because he touched his ex butt

Are these red flags?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Definitely a red flag. Not cute or endearing.
He doesn't want anyone else to see or look at you? How insecure is that? Jeeez.

It's one thing if some guy comes up to you or says shit to you when you are with your boyfriend. In that case, he would be justified in telling the guy to fuck off. And if some guy touched you, he would deserve to get smacked.

I was always proud to be with a girlfriend that others found attractive. I'd be thinking "Eat your hearts out." She chose me. She wants to be with me. But I trusted my girlfriends and wasn't afraid that they would be lured by anyone else.

The problem here is, he's going to want to control you, tell you what to wear and where you can go. You can't go swimming or to the beach. You can't go out with your girlfriends. He'll be easily enraged and take it out on you and others. I've seen and heard about guys like that and it's toxic af.

I think that attitude is pretty sick, personally.

WaterIsland · Accepted Answer

I’d definitely interpret these as red flags but that’s just me. That sounds extremely possessive.

Having a bit of jealousy and such is fine and can be a bit cute. But there’s definitely a line. And it feels like he’s crossing it.

It just makes me think if something truly made him jealous would he lash out aggressively in anger? Or have some other awful response?

Relationships are built on trust. He needs to trust you. If not, it’ll never work out in a positive manner like you want.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Yes, huge red flag. He sounds possessive and insecure.

inhua · Answer

no they're not. people need to stop attacking a man's biological nature to be protective and territorial because this is how they are able spurt into action when protecting their loved ones e. g. a mother from getting beaten or a daughter from getting molested

given what you've described, what are you also doing to mitigate this? are you allowing other men to perv on you? are you openly agreeing with the girls that you're too good for your boyfriend? it's easy to accuse him of insecurity when it is deliberately being invoked out of him

if he were more tough and masculine, would other men still try to perv on you? if he were more attractive, would the girls praise the two of you as a good couple? think about these things first before accusing him of anything

and if he did smash a bottle over another man's head, he'd be in jail

DaveJord · Answer

Yes, they are Red Flags. Most guys like it when other guys give their woman some attention, it's a huge ego boost. Like look at me, you wish you were as lucky as me.

Unless they are super insecure about it. And yes, that can feed into or develop into serious jealousy, possessiveness or control issue later.

spartan55 · Answer

I really doubt he smashed a beer bottle on some dude's head. Ask him how long he went to jail for that one...

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Smashing a bottle sounds reddish

Are these Red flags?

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Are these Red flags?

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