Do you believe men should have their sh*t together by 30?

[beautyjoyfover200]

Actually this goes for everyone men and women, what do you think?

[abc3643]

Well, that depends on what you mean by that...
Furthermore, there is no guarantee that "having your shit together" means that it won't be blown apart later... for instance, by unemployment or a sudden trauma.

Remember this: The only thing that is constant is change.

So, as far as I am concerned, having "your shit together" means that you are robust and can withstand many of the crises that can face you in life. This usually means being a billionaire. So, since the supply of billionaires is rather short and the available ones are in high demand, you might want to settle for "is trying to get his shit together" because that is the right mindset.

[Anonymous]

I think both mem AND WOMEN should have thier s*** together by 30. Or at the very least have thier sails pointed in the right direction. If you f*** up your 20's bad enough you might not get things straightened out by 30. But you should at least understand what you did wrong.

At 26 I was flat broke by 30 I had a net worth of 25k (I know it ain't a lot but I was correcting s***) and now in my late 40's a have a high 6 figure net worth. So it can be done. Though I'll fully admit I've been very fortunate. Nobody successful without a bit of luck.

[Dinklex3]

I think people should have an idea of what they want to do in life.

We’re always changing and growing. I decided to leave my job 2 months before I turned 30 and am starting another journey 🤷🏾‍♀️

I think as long as you are working towards your goals you’re doing alright.

[Kayla45]

People will never be ready for what life constantly throws at them at any age, just how it goes.

[Kayla45]

Thank you for the most helpful opinion.

[coachTanthony]

Used to be so but now I think it's more like 40 lol

[nastyb]

i don't think its extended to 40. Because reality is.. most employers refuse to take interns over the age of 30.

[PragmaticProfit]

@nastyb Never seen this to be the case

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

you just haven't seen it. but as someone who has interned at multiple professional institutions, prestigious companies, it is uncommon to see an intern over 30 years old. The only places where they accept interns over 30 are jobs where there aren't enough workers where there aren't a lot of competition getting into these fields.

Generally speaking, if you aren't on the right track by 35 , then you will never get your shit together.

[PragmaticProfit]

What firms are you referring to?

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

I have interned at PwC, worked at various investment/ accounting firms across US. I have friends that are in law schools that tell me its rare to find an intern in their 30s.

[PragmaticProfit]

@nastyb Ah I see. PwC is difficult in general. I got into finance later. Still working on my CFP designation. Passed, but now I just need work experience. Worked in engineering before. Twenty something’s tend to have it harder in financial planning from what I’ve seen. People just don’t trust people younger than them with their wealth.

[PragmaticProfit]

My wife works in mortgage and most of the loan officers she works with got certified in their early 30s. That’s a very lucrative business if you know how to network well.

[PragmaticProfit]

Perhaps people in their 30s aren’t looking for internships but rather a more secure offering since they have more financial responsibilities. I just haven’t witnessed the agism personally so it’s hard for me to imagine it’s prominent throughout the hiring process. Men and women in their 30s seem prime to me. High level of maturity while still possessing the vibrance necessary to hustle.

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

you usually need to intern before you can hold great paying jobs. You dont just get hired a great job overnight. For example, if you want to work at a prestigious company, you would usually need to have done multiple internships. If you want to get promoted to a great position in a comapny, you would need to have prior work experience. And this "prior work experience" is usually a decent job at a good company.

nobody works at McDonalds yesterday, then wake up this morning and find themselves an accountant at an investment firm. Its not how it works.

[Men and women in their 30s seem prime to me. ]

its only prime for those who have done internships in their 20s. Understand that "prime" doesn't come overnight.

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

Internships don't tend to want to hire older people such as in their 30s. Thats why its so hard to "get your shit together" in your 30s. Employers want to train young people , fresh out of school, not people in their 30s

[PragmaticProfit]

@nastyb Certainly. Everyone needs to bring value to the table, and typically, a McDonald's worker might not possess those specific qualifications. However, those with strong communication abilities can thrive in mortgages or planning. The traditional corporate ladder was never appealing to me. If I'm dedicating 60-70 hours a week, my earnings should be at least a quarter million annually. In my engineering days, I put in those hours and was compensated well. Yet, I transitioned to finance for the allure of commission and the prospect of an unlimited earning potential. The most financially successful individuals I collaborate with not only have impeccable communication skills but also take and adeptly manage risks.

[PragmaticProfit]

My late uncle, who passed away roughly 5 years ago, was a CPA. He further earned a CFA designation and spent the majority of his professional life working as an analyst for the federal government. Though he never married or had children, he achieved remarkable success in his career and left a substantial inheritance for our family. I believe he finished university around the age of 29. While he might be an outlier, my other uncle ventured into real estate when he was 30. Despite losing everything in a market downturn, he managed to rebuild. Today, he owns around a dozen rental properties throughout Orange County, CA around the coast and consistently secures high end deals.

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

he had prior related professional experience prior to becoming a CPA or CFA which qualified him for an analyst job.

but if he were a 50 yr old man who just graduated from college, knows nothing and is looking for an internship, its unlikely he would be able to get anything especially if he has absolutely no prior related work experience.

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

your uncle doesn't really count as a valid example.

[PragmaticProfit]

@nastyb Now, you're referencing those in their 50s; I thought we were discussing those in their 30s. What I'm trying to say is that both of my uncles began their professional journeys a bit later in life and still amassed significant wealth. I recently posed a question here, mentioning how I poured my heart and soul into university, achieving an impressive 4.17 GPA, only to later realize its limited significance in the practical world. I found out individuals without finance degrees were making a substantial amount simply by slinging annuities – nearly triple my earnings. It was quite the reality check. I clung to my educational achievements, somewhat arrogantly believing I had an edge over them. Yet, they continue to outearn me. Understand what I'm saying?

[PragmaticProfit]

@nastyb Neither of my uncles?

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

you don't understand the concept of hiring. When employers are looking for new trainees, they're not looking for someone who is old. They want young people because they more eager, teachable, malleable, and have a longer lifeline to work for their company.

now if you're talking about amassing wealth- this is a completely separate topic. There are so many other ways to make money in life. You don't necessarily need to obtain an "internship" to make a lot of money in life. You don't even need to start out at a company to make a lot of money in life. I have seen people washing cars, who never held an internship or apprenticeship their entire lives, build themselves into multimillionaires. I have seen people who have never been to school who were able to make a fortune in the restaurant business.

Our topic was about : What your chances of being accepted by an employer fresh out of college, completely without any related prior experience as an older student?

Our topic really wasn't about: does an older student have a chance at amassing wealth?
you don't need to be a "student" to amass wealth. Anyone can amass wealth.

And what you need to understand is :
having relevant prior experience is already enough to qualify an "older student" for the job.
relevant prior experience is a qualification.

we were talking about a 35-45 yr old WITHOUT prior any qualifications fighting for an internship with a 21 yr old kid who also doesn't have any prior qualifications.

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

your uncle likely had prior qualifications which made his life a lot easier when it came to landing a job as an analyst.

But if you're a 35-45 yr old without prior qualifications fighting over an internship deal with a 21 yr old without prior qualifications... your chances of winning is very slim. Not saying impossible but very unlikely.

[PragmaticProfit]

@nastyb Sorry for the mix-up. I was referencing the initial question about having one's shit together, which I instinctively link to wealth because of my profession. My wife hires people. I've hired people in engineering. Granted, I worked for a smaller company. But let's be real, most employers are after competence and how well someone can perform in their specific role. Someone in their mid-40s... I see what you mean, but a person in their early 30s? Shit, I'd lean towards the 30-year-old. They're likely more responsible and mature, making them the better choice

[PragmaticProfit]

I recognize that the world you inhabit and the career trajectory you've pursued might differ greatly from mine. If in your domain there are age constraints, then that's how it is. I guess I'm merely speaking to the broader sentiment of this question.

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

Age discrimination is REAL. I actually have multiple friends / acquaintances in their 40s-50s applying for mid-level jobs and they all got rejected despite their years of experience (working as mid levels) within their fields. Even entry level jobs don't want to hire them. Its really sad. From my experience, the only positions where employers are more likely to hire older people are top management positions within the company. As for internships, its rare to see an intern in their 30s. The only places where I have seen interns in their 30s are in fields where they have a hard time finding new recruits or retaining workers.

[PragmaticProfit]

@nastyb That's pretty shitty. Are they working in accounting as well?

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

I have a paralegal friend who is struggling to find work despite having 15+ years of experience and great references. I also have another friend who is an experienced security guard struggling to get hired at even the lowest level security jobs.

I , myself, was an accountant for several years bouncing around between firms. I knew right from the beginning accounting wasn't the field I wanted to be in for the rest of my life. I was afraid of throwing away so many years of hard work into the garbage and starting the learning process over again. But a fellow mid-level accountant at my firm told me: "you don't want to be burn out and too old to switch fields like me at 48. Switch fields while you still can. Once you get older and have kids, you won't be able to do that anymore".
So I took his advice and did a career change.

[nastyb]

@PragmaticProfit

I'm in my late 20s and I am already seeing the difference between younger students versus older students. Younger students typically have more energy, zest, eagerness that older students do not have. I'm not saying all older students don't have this energy or zest for learning but speaking in general terms.

[Levin]

Well, I suppose it's telling that your title includes men.

Which sort of implies you don't really believe women should be included in that.

I mean, yes, probably, one should. But life is a bit more complicated than that. And you can define having one's shit together in a narrow way. Each person is a work in progress. A man who may be materially successful may be an inner wreck or have myriad destructive psychological and emotional habits.

Ultimately, each person should take responsibility for their own lives.

[TheSpaceGnome]

The problem with these sorts of questions, is one person's idea of having their shit together, is not the same as another.

Some may set the bar higher or lower, others may see the bar "backwards" (or forwards, depending on your point of view).

If you do not live in a mansion and are retired or doing your dream job, your shit is not together.
If you don't live in a generational household with lots of people as support, your shit is not together.

But thats my personal opinion.

I'd imagine others might have the inverse view, that you only need a meager income and to be independant and living in your own and having your own everything. But I see those things as failures.

Its better to simply find someone with the same hobbies, goals and lifestyle preferences as you, and to help eachother reach those goals and lifestyle, regardless of where either of you are on that journey when meeting.

[Sonorous]

Legit, I've met people that think that if a man doesn't want to own his own company, then he doesn't "have his shit together" 💀 insufferably indoctrinated mofos

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Sonorous I'd want to own my own company, but as you've pointed out, and as I said before, not everyone wants the same thing, so thats perfectly fine, and yet another good example of what I was talking about.

[AaronKrieger]

A bit too young to give useful insight about this, but objectively, if you don't, then there's no point in feeling bad over it. All you can do is work towards getting your shit together. Everyone's journey is different and and you're still moderately young in your 30's.

[rigmarole]

I think people should live their life however the fuck they want. As for guys specifically. They are not living life to impress you. They have their own goals. Your goals and their goals may not be the same. So get over yourself, you're not the center of the universe.

[beautyjoyfover200]

Dude it’s not a personal question chill the fuck out lol

[rigmarole]

And I didn't take it personal. You did though.

[beautyjoyfover200]

How so?

[rigmarole]

I made a general statement. You got pissy about it and took it personal. Then you projected your emotional response onto me as a defense mechanism because I told you that you aren't the center of the universe. Like I said "you aren't the center of the universe". "They have their own goals. Your goals and their goals may not be the same.". You see how I told you different people are going to have different outlooks on life. That they will set their own goals. You see how that is nothing personal about me, but give all men different paths in life. Yeah... Obviously what I said is really clear, and the part aout you not being the center of the universe hurt your narcissistic ego.

[rigmarole]

*about

[rigmarole]

You think everything is about you. Therefore how you view the world my response about you being the center of the world is about you and therefore from how you view the world it must also be about me because everyone must be as self centered as you. You can't fathom how someone could lay down a statement that isn't about themselves because in your mind if you did it, it would have to be about you. You can't walk in other people's shoes like I just did without making it about yourself.

[beautyjoyfover200]

Soo me asking a simple general question for everyone and seeing other options and I’m not saying who’s right or wrong about … is all about me because apparently my ego is so big like your balls I can’t to be the center of the universe? I never made it about myself so how can you assume something like that from someone you don’t know. I agree with you on your first comment but the last sentence was unnecessary because it wasn’t about me personally, so how can you tell someone to get over themselves that’s where I’m confused of… but honestly I don’t give a fuck.

[rigmarole]

Of course you did. The concept of "men having their shit together" is self center all by itself. That's the tell. You have a view of what men must do or not do by a certain age to fit your mold. Oh and I know you don't give a fuck about what I said, that's just the nature of you being self centered.

[beautyjoyfover200]

WHATTTTT? LMAOOOO why are you assuming shit that what blow my mind lol
You don’t know me if I want to make a statement about me and WHY men need to get their shit together by 30 and made a list of nonsense I would have made the very clear in the post but that was not the concept at all, your reading this too deep when it’s not haha. You could’ve just asked what my view of the question instead again assuming shit like huh lol. And yes I am a self centered bad bitch and your an insecure little boy get the fuck off my post 😂

[rigmarole]

There you go with your projection again. You're just loser and always will be. Someday you'll have to come to terms with that.

[Mewzinc]

@beautyjoyfover200 girl don't take the bait

[Mewzinc]

@beautyjoyfover200 He's not worth it. He's just a unhappy bully. Not surprised to see his kind here. They usually live online like the troll they are. He is manipulating, gaslighting and in some form trying to control you by acting like you're the one with the problem. He is obviously the one with the problem and attacking you for no reason and then gaslighting you and saying it's all in your head. It's best to not even attempt to talk to someone automatically aggressive for no reason. He's baiting you and trying to get you to waste your time. I bet this guy never talks to women ever. When he does get that chance because he's a small person pitying himself, it's probably just the ones he starts shit with.

[MonMon1477]

THAT was NO general statement 💀

[Blueeyes81]

In a perfect world yes. Just like with most things everyone is different. One of my friends was a complete deadbeat at 30. All about drugs, booze and chasing tail. He quit his job to be a drug dealer. Then one day he decided to go back to school. He graduated and got an IT job for the state. He then met a single mom and got married and now is a stand up dad and husband. He by no means had his shit together at 30 but now he does and then some. Some people are late bloomers and sadly some never get their shit together.

[CurrentJohn]

Depends on what you define as "having your shit together"

I just hit my 30s and don`t have my shit together yet, so I guess I will say no in favor of myself. I probably will in about 5 years, but I also don`t have a certain goal in life I have to achieve. I just live my life as it is. If you mean with shit together to build a house, plant a tree, marry and have two children than no I will never have my shit together, because that is not what I want to do with my life.

[beautyjoyfover200]

There can be different level and meaning of it, really it depends on you what you think what’s successful in your own life. So if your in your 30s living comfortable what your doing that’s great !

[Marcuslrh]

Everyone is on there own journey at there own pace I wouldn't be comparing people based off age you have no idea what set backs people have gone through in life, and how do you define having their sh*t together to? That's gonna vary for a lot of people

[inhua]

depends on what is meant by having "shit together"

I believe if a guy can afford luxuries such as personal internet, electronics and alcohol in his fridge, he has his shit together

by extension he would have to own a car and be able to have his bills fully paid via monthly or annually instalments

and all the 5 human needs are clearly taken care about e. g. food, water, oxygen, shelter, protection

[nastyb]

i don't think this only is imposed on men. women are also faced with the same thing.

but quite honestly... unless you're doing something severely wrong with your life... there's really no reason why you wouldn't have your shit together by 30.

most people that are still dependent on their parents by 30 tend to be losers who need to shape up or aren't trying hard enough to get their lives together.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yeah, the expectation is that by 30 you’re completely independent with a goal to meet. Doesn’t mean that’s reality, or that we should do that. But that’s what happens when you’re expected to plan out your entire adult career and life by 16.

[bolverk]

Guys should have been focused on their careers through their 20's because when they reach their 30's they are coming into their prime and have their shit together, by the time I was in my 30's I had taken on overseas contracts in the oil & marine industries.

[andreasderjuengere]

If my ''shit'' involves having to wear a necktie and to play a game that others dictate me... then I'll give a shit about shit.

I had mine 'together' with 21 or so already ---> just not the way the ''System'' had it in mind.

Oppose. Ask. Criticize. Think. Conclude.

At any age, actually.

[BigDog1989]

If they want to be with someone, likely. However, I'm 34, and I'm doing "just fine", single, but, "just fine". I have a 35 year old friend though, who is divorced with two kids, not working, and living with a man she met through her former work. It's whatever

[provokeesmokee]

Define "have your shit together".

But for the most part, yeah, that's reasonable. But it's also reasonable to have different standards and expectations than what others have.

[beautyjoyfover200]

I guess the level you think what’s successful to you good job, descant pay, your own place etc stuff like that

[provokeesmokee]

Yeah, that's fair. Most folks I know in our 30s do this.

[MrOracle]

If a man wants a wife and family, then, yeah, he'd better have his shit together by 30.

If he's content being single or casually dating his whole life, then it really doesn't matter.

[Unit1]

Well that's gonna be nearly impossible with an annual income under 50K. Unless we choose to not expend that money on hobbies and beauty treatments and eating out (except lunch hours and burritos).

[A_Bell]

Same for women. I am not 30 yet and am raising a family. To many of my peers and friends from school still want to party like they are 21.

[EmmaMary]

Personally I believe that both men and women should have their life targets well and truly achieved by this age (30).

[Anemone978]

Depends I am not super hard up on that.. some people need longer.. but if they have kids then yes defo they should..

[LiamJHayden]

Our parent's generation, definitely. Ours where we need to make $100K to qualify for an apartment without a cosigner in many areas, maybe not as much.

[beautyjoyfover200]

I agreed!

[genericname85]

i mean that would certainly be advisable. but fact is: shit can fall apart any time. life happens. so you probably should also not judge without knowing someone very well.

[Mamaliv]

If they do or they don’t that’s on them…. But I am done wasting time on men who don’t.

[lightbulb27]

You have to define that. I had some but bot all. Should but some dont…

[Enaya]

Men and women should have their life sorted by 40

[DryGermanGuy]

The law suggests it should be 21 at the latest, sooo...

[Reem12345reem]

35 , if he graduates from a 4 year degree , that's enough time to make money and figure things out

[BoopBoopBeep]

Men and women, yeah, and ideally beforehand. What have you been doing since college?

[sheikalana]

If they don't yet have their sh*t together by 30 at least they should have a plan for the future.

[Pegases]

Most people today dont have it all together by 30, because of inflation.

[OlderAndWiser]

By age 30, you should have your shit together and all in one shoe!

[serious_miss419]

people should live how they please and not how society expects. Also what other people do is no one else’s business. Should be this should be that, fuck off

[AngryCarl2]

Ideally yes, but suppose you were severely ill, either mentally or physically? Or just all around retarded? You have to consider the art of the possible.

[AnusNdaPainus]

Women should have their shit together much sooner because you receive much more help than men do

men will only have their shit together if they belligerently avoid women

[AviatorTom]

Yes, and make sure you continue to keep it together as you get older.

[gothbxtch]

no, everyone is different and many people have problems and disadvantages. “having your shit together” is also subjective.

[TallAnon]

In what regards? We definitely won't be perfect.
Self-sustainable? Yes
Own a house? Not gonna happen for a lot of people
Have a career? Should have started one
Lots of different answers.

[Yuna1992]

I think we all have different experiences and we should not judge others like this.

[Anonymous]

Depends what you mean. I was being a good little tax asset, engaging with my now wife, and earning well but my head emotionally was all over the place until 40.

[Anonymous]

They should be well on their way if they don't have it completely together by 30. I know I didn't but I was in school still.

[Ms_Facesitter]

No. Life's hard. But having a roadmap for yourself should be there.

[Staximus]

There's a lot of people that didn't have their shit together until they became millionaires after their 40's or later

[jeffend888]

Yup. Everyone I know had their shit together by 30, some even younger. So not sure what anyone else's excuse would be.

[Pacquet]

Everyone isn’t dealt the same hand in life and everyone progresses differently.

[serious_miss419]

This 🙌

[OddBeMe]

(Whispers) we never have our shit together.

Those that most try to convince you they do…are most likely less together.

[Anonymous]

obviously. but many of us cannot because of what's happening in the word right now.

[TonyMetal___86]

It depends but under normal circumstences they should...

[whistlingwh0res]

That’s not realistic. Only jerks are looking mature. If he is not he will still be a boy or girl

[robocop666]

I believe by my age I have everything sorted and am on the right track

[Anonymous]

If they believe women are undesirable by 30 then they better lol

[Nikki1989]

Yes, I would hope so.

[Fireguy17]

If not together, at least a good handle on it.

[ProbablyClueless]

Probably.. but so should women, honestly.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes men and women should

[Grovermint]

Yeah, in their own way.

[KrakenAttackin]

Everyone tries but life gets in the way.

[Alex8736]

They should have their shit together by 23

[SL1CK_BL1CK]

Yes absolutely, I would argue around 25 though

[Jmmmfi4]

I wasn't even close

[Miristheiss]

Yes.