Why do my mom says that ''guys don't trust girls with too many guy friends''?

[bjork]

I have too many guy friends but they are my ''just'' friends. Still, my mom thinks that when I flirt with a guy he won'T trust me for having too many guy friends... Do you agree? What is the problem here?

[carenina]

I remember my mom expressing the idea that "guys don't trust girls with too many guy friends." This belief can stem from a variety of factors, including concerns about potential jealousy or insecurity within relationships. It's important to approach this sentiment with understanding.

Often, it's not about gender but about fostering trust, open communication, and setting boundaries in a relationship. Building trust and empathy between partners is essential. It's possible for both men and women to have close friends of any gender without it affecting the trust within a relationship.

A healthy relationship is built on trust and mutual respect. It's important to have conversations with your partner about boundaries and trust to ensure a harmonious and empathetic connection.

[Ozanne]

I've never heard this. However, in my opinion it would be best if you had a mix of friends. Both men and women, and different ages from different walks of life. If it's just men, all of a certain age, then it just seems like the girl is a collector of men, which would seem odd to a man. I try to think of it the other way around too--what if a man only had women friends, and many of them. To me, it just seems like a person can be more well-rounded with different types of people in their life.

[strawberrybaby3]

Yes I completely agree. Men know how other men are. A man is not going to feel comfortable being in a relationship with a girl that has a lot of guy friends. Not because they don’t trust YOU, but because they know the intentions men have by befriending a girl. It is rarely ever innocent. They are looking for their way in.


Would you like it if a guy you wanted to be with had a bunch of girl friends?

[dynamicyandere]

Yup, a truly platonic and altruistic male friend is rare. How sure is she that all her guy friends are exactly this rare type of guy friend?

One of them? Possibly. But all of them? Very unlikely.

Often times, they’re just waiting for an opportunity.

(e. g. The relationship is rocky and she needs someone to talk to and a guy friend offers a shoulder to cry on, then one thing leads to the next, etc.)

[strawberrybaby3]

Yes completely agree

[s10sleeper]

In my experience, when a girl has a lot of guy friends, many of those guys want more than just friendship. Those guys often do things to try to cause problems in the relationship. Sometimes those guys are even creepy. It may be something you aren’t able to notice, but it’s noticeable to people outside of the friendship. I was once with a girl whose “best friend” was a married man that had started talking about leaving his wife and was talking about them being together, despite the fact that she was seeing me. When she told him that nothing would ever happen between them, he suddenly didn’t care so much about being friends

[dynamicyandere]

If you have a lot of guy friends and are not attracted to any of them and they aren’t attracted to you romantically and you aren’t keeping them around for validation, then you’re a special case and a special exception.


The fact is MOST of the time when a girl has a ton of guy friends around her, it’s not completely innocent or honest.


Usually there are guys in the group that want to get with her. Or, she has feelings for some guys, and they’re back ups. Or there’s an insecurity issue and she constantly needs make validation.


Because of that common scenario, most guys see it as a red flag.

[dynamicyandere]

male validation*

[ZackBan]

You literally used quotation marks on the "just" 😂
Clearly even you know they're not just friends

And yes your mom is correct.
Women tend to be turned on by a man who has a lot of prospects because they feel special if they are chosen by the man who could've picked anyone.

Men don't work the same way.
We look for peace of mind.
A girl with as few guy friends as possible is ideal. Less competition, less worrying that she might get drunk and let him take advantage. Less him poisoning the well in hops to ruin us as a way to get her for himself...

[ProbablyClueless]

Your mom is 100% right... We don't trust women with lots of guy friends. It's a massive red flag. There are a few reasons for that;

• We know that women's ideas of friendship are a lot more intimate than men's.
• We know that most of those men aren't only interested in you as a friend.
• We know that THERE IS ABSOLUTELY A REASON YOU DON'T CHILL WITH OTHER GIRLS, and we know that that reason is almost never a good thing.
• We know that women with lots of guy friends tend to be attention-seekers.

I really want to emphasize the idea that we know there is a reason you don't get along with other women. Obviously, there could be a lot of reasons that women don't want you around. It's possible that you genuinely aren't doing anything wrong, but my experience has been that women who don't want another woman around usually don't want her around because of something to do with abrasive personality traits or boyfriend concerns.

[Nikki1989]

At least your username is accurate.

[ProbablyClueless]

@Nikki1989 I'm speaking about the male perspective on these situations. ^That^ is how we see things. Whether that's an accurate impression about the women involved or not is irrelevant in men's reasons for seeing a woman's choice in friends as a redflag.

[Anonymous]

In your heart, if you and your guy friends are genuinely hiding nothing, then that's okay. You're allowed to have friends of the opposite sex just like men can. Anyone who wants to separate you from your friends is insecure about them. You should be trusted to decline advances from people you're not interested in, even if they were just pretending to be your friend to get closer to you somehow. You can't help who you are attracted to, just be sure everyone's on the same page, no one should make you feel bad for having guy friends. My best friend is a she/they and people constantly think we're dating or married even when we're not. People *can't* understand non-romantic cross-sex friendships sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Guaranteed 9/10 of them want to fk you. Having all those orbitors introduces more risk for the a potential mate

Also, if all those guys friends is also met with you having few to no female friends, then that also says a lot about you since the most likely reason for you're inability to maintain friendships with other females is most likely the due to the other women not wanting you around their guys anymore because that also introduces unnecessary risk. The risk being that you showing signs of getting too close for comfort with their man

[Miristheiss]

I'd advise ANY man out there to never take a girl like this serious. If she has a throng of guys she hangs with all the time, goes out with, texts... etc. DO NOT EVER get serious with her. Never make her your girlfriend and never, ever marry her.

If you want to F her and mess around for a bit, I suppose but girlfriend?

No way.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Your mom is wrong.

If you have a lot of guy friends, but aren't dating/humping any of them, you're either a lesbian, or picky, and your definitely a "tomboy" mentally.

Picky women are the most trustworthy, and girls who aren't into "girly things" and prefer actual hobbies like gaming, science, sci-fi/fantasy, anime, tech, building stuff, making art or music, etc. are the best kind of women.

[provokeesmokee]

She grew up in a different time.

Ignore her. That's internalized misogyny and unhealthy relationship patterns talking, no wisdom.

[Starrrboy]

As a guy you know what most guys are like ( even if you're not exactly like them ) , and also.. even if all her friends are cool dudes and they don't cross any lines.. she's still close with them in some way and they have her attention / she enjoys theirs... So , what makes you so different from these other guys? she just sleeps with you and not them? naaah doesn't feel good...

[Spongebobssocks]

I have two clearly non straight guy friends. But I don't know if I would be friends witb a straight guy.. although im ugly and I have morals so nothing would happen either way

[jshm2]

True. It could be taken by some guys as you being a "hoe" or as you being a flirt, milking guys.

Depends on your personality I suppose.

[Apple1996]

I don't see the problem either. Most of my friends are guys and it's never caused any issues

[Finchie40]

Because of temptations , usually opposite sex friends want more than just friendship happens with Guys and girls’ How would you feel if your boyfriend had a bunch of girl friends?

[Adaeva]

Say what you wish but unless they are under 15 or over 60 they are more than friends and guys know that

[Catarine]

Men don't have woman friends unless they want to sleep with them

[dustin50396]

Not necessarily tho

[dustin50396]

Just most of the time probably

[Catarine]

Of course you always have exceptions with anything in life but when talking about fenomena you can't get anywhere without generalizing

[ScisorsAndRaisins]

I agree. I've had many women friends, and I lusted after them.

[Jdodkfndosn]

Correct you are

[sheikalana]

Because she's right. No guy wants to have a girlfriend that has a bunch of male friends. Men know how other men think.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why are you flirting with a guy who is "just" a friend?

[genericname85]

having mostly guy friends is definitely a huge red flag. not necesarily a "trust" thing but it's certainly unattractive.

[ScisorsAndRaisins]

I agree.

[Nikki1989]

She is old-fashioned. People are not insecure don't have those attitudes anymore, thankfully.

[OddBeMe]

I don't know. I was a guy with tons of girls as friends. No girlfriends ironically. But I feel I learned so much about that species I was able to date easier in college.

[AnusNdaPainus]

Because if other women don’t like you it’s for a reason.

That’s a huge red flag when a girl has little to no female friends