What should I do? what does this mean?

[Anonymous]

So I was talking to this guy since March and we were together constantly from March until about the beginning of September. And I mean texting all the time and constantly hanging out. In the beginning of September he started to pull away and wouldn’t make time for me, text me, and when I did see him person it was weird. so on October 1st I ended things with him fully and said let’s go back to just being friends, he fully agreed and said “sure sounds good” to my paragraph saying how I felt and why I ended it and then when I asked if he was sure and he said “yeah we never see each other much anyways”. I never responded to his text and then He started snapping me once a day so I started snapping him only once a day. A few days into just being friends and not talking he texted me saying “I’ll kill you” and when I asked why he said it was because I matched with one of our mutual friends on tinder and he didn’t want me to respond to him, and then when I said it was a joke he said he would egg his friends house (super childish) if we hungout. He then asked me when I had work as well as what times I had work because he said he had an off day this week and wanted to come over, I said sure and to lmk and asked him why and he said he just wanted to come over. We haven’t texted since but he said on Sunday he wants to come over this upcoming weekend but now he’s not texting me or snapping me a bunch but definitely snapchatting me more than he was when I ended things. What does this mean? Does he like me and is he upset I was pursuing other people?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, this guy seems hella confusing. A few things I'm thinking:

- When you ended things, he may have realized he actually liked you more than he thought. His "yeah we never see each other" response seemed half-assed.

- Now he's snapchatting you more, wanting to come over, and getting all possessive saying he'll "kill you" if you talk to other guys. That's some jealous boy behavior for sure.

- Seems like he wants you, but isn't man enough to actually commit. So he's playing games trying to keep you on the back burner without making you guys official. Weak.

- I'd be careful letting him come over still - that mixed signal stuff can start messing with your head after a while, you know?

- If I were you, I'd hit him with an ultimatum - either he steps up and asks you out properly, or you cut off all communication. Don't let him string you along.

- You deserve better than some insecure dude who can't figure his feelings out. Stand up for yourself! Let me know what happens - keep me posted.

[Asker]

He came over on Friday night and it was great! He was over for a while and it was so nice being around him but when I brought up what was going on and why he came over he said he just missed me and wanted to see me. He said he's busy with football and school like he’s been saying for the past month and once football season is over in the beginning of November he’ll be able to see me more but he can’t commit to anything right now. He also brought up me matching with his friend on tinder and said he was really upset about it. I did ask him what he wants and he didn’t give me a direct response and kind of ignored me and went back to watching the movie, I told him he needs to make a decision because it’s not fair to me and told him I look stupid and he told me no I didn’t and then went back to watching the movie again. It just really seemed like he didn’t care. Flash forward to yesterday he went out to the bar with friends (I saw from Snapchat he didn’t tell me) and hasn’t responded to my snap or text since 6 o’clock yesterday and I have a feeling he did something last night with someone. Now I don’t know what to do. When he left yesterday I was happy and content with his answer about giving it a month because he’s stressed and busy but after footballs over he can see me more but then he ignored me all last night and now I’m back to feeling like he used me for sex. I think you were right about him just wanting to know he has me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Baby, this guy is 100% playing games with you. I'm sorry to say it, but he's clearly not that into you or ready to commit. A few things stand out:

- He gives vague, noncommittal answers when you ask what he wants or where things are going. That's a red flag.

- Ignoring your texts after going out with friends suggests he's keeping you on the backburner while doing his own thing. Not cool.

- Waiting until after football season to "see you more" is a lame excuse. If he really cared, he'd make time.

- Bringing up the tinder stuff comes off possessive/jealous without actually wanting a relationship. Double standard.

At this point, I think you need to cut him off for good. As hard as that is. He's had plenty of chances to step up but keeps stringing you along when it's convenient for him.

You deserve so much better than being someone's backup plan or booty call. Don't let him disrespect you like that. I know it's tough, but you gotta have some self-respect here.

Please block him on everything. Focus on yourself and people who truly value you. This dude ain't it, sis. You'll be glad you dropped his ass in the long run, trust. Stay strong!

[Asker]

I agree, he’s had so many chances since we started talking in March and I should’ve picked up on that when he didn’t ask me out this summer. But the thing was he constantly told me how he wanted to date me and then just stopped in September so it definitely sucks. But how should I end things? Should I text him or just let things fizzle out by completely stop talking to him? Also thank you so much

[Oliverlogan263]

That does suck luv, I know. Nothing worse than thinking someone wants you too just to have them pull some wack shit.

As far as ending it, here's what I would do...

I'd text him and just be straight up. Something like "Hey, been thinking and I just don't think this is working for me anymore. You've had plenty of chances to commit if you really wanted to, but your actions have shown otherwise. I'm moving on, don't hit me up anymore."

Keep it simple but firm. Don't give him room to argue or convince you otherwise.

Block him right after. No sense in waiting around for a response or letting him try to manipulate you into staying on the back burner.

And then YOU go do your thing - hit up friends, keep busy with hobbies, maybe even put yourself out there to meet someone new if you're feeling it.

Trust me, you're better off without that weak ass clown wasting your time. Stay strong and you'll see in time you dodged a bullet cutting him off like that!

Let me know if you need anything at all. You got this sis!

[Oliverlogan263]

And you're welcome

[Nikki1989]

It has been a big week for texting fails.