Social media help?

Question

Hey! So kinda embarrassed asking this, but here goes…

I, 35f, am new to dating again. I’m pretty sure my 43 m coworker is interested in me (gets anxious around me, fumbles his words, deep eye contact, checked me out twice quite obviously, and has attempted to “bump” into me twice now). I just get that feeling he’s interested.

We are friends on social media, but I just don’t understand why he doesn’t like anything I post. I know I’m being weird and in my head, but is this common? I don’t post anything offensive or political, more like here’s a pretty sunset or hey I ran a half marathon for charity. He likes multiple mutual coworkers’ stuff, and it’s mostly stupid stuff like “I love cats” etc.

I really don’t get it. Can someone please help out? I’m embarrassed by even asking. He sometimes views my stories but that’s sporadic. It’s like he is refusing to engage with me and I don’t know why. I should just ask him out but I don't know if I even should now.

Thanks :)

ZackBan · Accepted Answer

When you say new to dating again I'm assuming you got out of a long term relationship or marriage so there are a few things to consider about dating in the 20's that where not necessarily prevalent in the elden days:

Everyone scrolls on social media. If he likes your posts he probably likes every post he comes across and if he doesn't hit the like button he probably isn't used to doing that as a reflex. Social media is such a mindfuck these days that it has 0 relevance to real life.

As for dating co-workers: we live in a post #meToo world where a man can get into a LOT of trouble if it is so much as perceived that he's being inappropriate at work.
So if you both like eachother then all is well but if he make a move and you say no he's done for good. So understandably so he won't just flat out risk it.

I would say don't shit where you eat and try dating outside of the workplace but if you really have feelings for this man and he is single and avaliable ask him for a coffee, let him know how much you enjoy working with him and see if he reciprocates and suggests you two hanging out more.

The only way I can think of to either work it out or let it go

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Guys are just weird that's all

He probably likes you
And once you post a story about anything then there's millions of people that could be reading it and out of those millions of people there might be guys and if there's guys they might like you so he doesn't like your stories lol

Don't you know that's how things get started by communicating LOL

And he's probably afraid to so either you have to make the first move or

Keep doing what you're doing and let life explore you and you explore life you never know who might read one of your thoughts or your stories there are very good experiences when you meet new people you have to experience things to understand them and sometimes it's a lot of fun

SueShe · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I have never understood the importance and the big hype people place on those social media. They are dating traps at best and often the content is more appropriate for porn and hookup sites, just like GaG seems to become very quickly.

Apparently, this guy is maybe from the old school and does only like topics that he may find appropriate for him to spend time on. At age 43, he grew up without those social media and is probably not as dependent on them like others are.

I would say that he is the person that prefers a person-to-person interaction rather than on a digital basis. I cannot blame him for that. He has a life and only uses that social media sporadically. Perhaps that he is also rightly concerned about the traces he leaves on the internet.

Perhaps that you should get off those platforms and invest more time in person with him since you seem to have an interest in him. That is so much personal.

sheikalana · Accepted Answer

Listen, I'm going to be short and sweet. Social media is BS and him liking or not liking your posts doesn't mean anything and is not a measure for how much someone is into other person. If there wasn't social media you wouldn't care for these type of things. Also posting to get his attention is super childish.

coachTanthony · Answer

Or maybe you have it all wrong that he’s interested in you. Imagine 3 years from now you’ll be asking does he want to marry me or not? Find a guy who pursues you like it’s a mission. Guys like this might hang around for the validation so don’t ask him out …he needs to get the balls to do that or it’s his loss!

johnnydeeeep · Answer

Lol, you're excessively cute. You're question isn't one to be embarrassed about, It's actually refreshingly and naively charming. It seems like your focused on how he responds via social media because that's the area where he isn't focused on engaging you. Fortunately, he seems focused on attracting your attention in real life. Perhaps next time he brushes against you, smile, and or when he holds eye contact with you, tell him he has nice eyes. Maybe even make a comment on one of his posts. Focus less on what he pays less attention to you in and more on getting the attention you want. Maybe ask his advice on something... Bring up that you've never been to a natural hot spring and that you have been reading about them and would like to find one locally to visit. Ask him if he's been to one before. They are usually in some scenic rural areas and are naturally pleasant, and I would imagine you have a great body to show off if you run marathons.

DB1973 · Answer

Work is a tough environment to share feelings for a female you like due to fear of the female taking anything the wrong way and possibly blowing up any words or moves you try to make as a male. Many work places do not allow fraternizing between coworkers.. That said. Send an ice breaker. Could be something about work, could be a compliment (guys like compliments about their work performance). If you have things in common send him something about that…then wait. If he truly wants to have time outside work he will engage, if not move on, he just likes the idea of you.

aquamarine321 · Answer

That’s fine, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, if you like him say it to him in a respectful manner just not strange cause some guys can be turned off too, plus he may not approach because of the fear of embarrassment in the workplace which can be upsetting to him and others in the workplace

Arik_jade · Answer

Hey Friend, This situation is being faced by many girls and guys that they can conclude.
Whatever you described about his behaviour, it clearly seems that he likes you. Don't think about FB post likes by him because there are lots of other things to get into for affection.

provokeesmokee · Answer

Just ask him out. He's probably worried engaging with your personal content might make him look creepy.  Some folks are also just terrible at social media.

Billlewis · Answer

Trust your instincts and you'll know what to do.

cnj421 · Answer

I think you’re putting too much weight on social media. Social media is fake. Focus on real life. If he’s making effort in real life then great. If not, shift your focus.

strateguy632 · Answer

correct, he likes you. but he doesn't know how you feel. so ask him to have a picnic or take a walk together

spartan55 · Answer

Don't caught up in that social media likes and follows. At the end of the day it means nothing. Talk to this guy.

magiusX26 · Answer

for the most part, when i have added someone i was interested in on a social media, it was more to look into her personality/investigate than for any remote form of conmunication. communication is better outside of the filter if social media.

Lynx122 · Answer

Men don't think about social media like women do. Just talk to him irl and see if it goes anywhere

jaskin777 · Answer

Yes he might like u. Or might want to be friends with benefits. But he may not want to like any of ur post has nothing to do with what ur post but maybe he just nervous AF to like it.. ?🫣🤔

Nikki1989 · Answer

Ignore social media and don't text, and you will be much happier and less confused about everything.

LeQuebecois · Answer

Just ask him. Thanks to a fear of rejection most men, myself included, won't ever ask any woman out.

slatyb · Answer

Just invite him to lunch or a drink after work and find out what you want to know.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Don’t date your co workers. Shocking a woman your age lacks the common sense to understand that

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

First of all, you're 35, but post anon in the 36 to 45 region.. Beyond that, You work with the guy! My advice to you is to stop making up bullshit stories.

AmeerX · Answer

You are not wrong to ask him out. Better get ambiguity out of the way

jjj101010 · Answer

Happy to chat if that helps, drop me a message

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