Why is his communication inconsistent and he only texts me late at night? Why am I not good enough for more or to go on a proper date?

[Anonymous]

Updates

6 mo

Granted I’m not hideous or anything. I never see him with anyone else and for the most part he’s really sweet to me and did seem to like me.

[_Maya_]

Well he might be busy during the day. There isn't a lot of context to the question. What does he do? Work? School? Maybe during the day he just doesn't have the time so that is why he texts at night. As far as the date goes... he might just view you as a friend or not think you are interested in a date. Again there isn't a whole lot of context to the situation like how long you have been talking and how you met. Do you flirt with him? Hard to say without knowing more.

[Asker]

We met on bumble and we’ve been texting for a few months and hooked up one time then a few days later we still texted and then I reached out on my own to tell him I’m not comfortable with the inconsistency and that I feel like I deserve more. And he basically told me he’d like to stay friends at least and be there for me, told me about all my great qualities and told me he knows I’d find someone more compatible. Stuff like that.
But in person he is really sweet and everything and for the most part seems to like me.

[Asker]

He’s a doctor so he’s busy during the day but I don’t get why he texts me so darn late. I asked him about it and he said it’s because he’s busy during the day and that’s the only time he gets to talk. I don't know if there’s someone else but he’s always by himself and is still on the apps.

[_Maya_]

Well it doesn't sound like a case of hit it and quit it. He wouldn't stick around after you hooked up if that is all he wanted. Sounds to me like he isn't looking for a relationship but really likes you as a friend. Not sure if you can transition that into a relationship at some point or not.

[Asker]

He kinda fought me on that too like wouldn’t let me get away so easily.
I wanted a relationship with him. I’m not sure why he views me the way he does. I feel irrelevant. :/

[_Maya_]

That is tough because I get that you really like him. Unfortunately you can't make someone want the same thing you do. If he is not into wanting a relationship right now little you can do. Plus just look at it this way... do you want someone as a partner that isn't 100% invested? I wouldn't.

[Asker]

I see where you’re coming from. I think I feel like I’m not good enough for him and just something for fun. Which really hurts.

[_Maya_]

I understand and it sucks to have that feeling when you really like someone and they don't reciprocate. Easy to feel down. Hang in there though. There is a guy out there that will give you everything you want and deserve.

[YourExLover69]

Can't speak for him but I prefer a girl to text me 24/7. I love clingy chatty girl to talk as much as possible with me only. Inconsistent texts or texts for only late night for few minutes isn't good enough. It won't work for me.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe he is an extremely shy and bashful guy who lacks self-confidence.

[slatyb]

Wiht do you accepr it?

[In_Trance]

He's married

[Asker]

He lives alone. I know that for sure cuz he lives in my building.