Why can’t he stop hurting and using people?

[Anonymous]

This question surrounds my this guy which i have posted about in the past. Brief history; we began seeing eachother in 2019 when he was in sober living then went to jail in 2020 for 16 months. I was there for him through it all. Gets out, switches up on me and gets back on drug addiction. He has been hopping from girl to girl since he got out in 2021, but we began talking again back in July of this year. He is a mess, on drugs, depressed, may move to Oklahoma to take care of his kid who knows. Anyway, sometimes he will apologize for how he treats me. He admits he comes to me when it’s convenient for him at times, he admitted i was all he had in jail, he admits he's not there for me, and He tells me that he tends to hurt other people and he doesn’t know how to stop, like he will tell me he can’t. He doesn’t want to go to therapy and is trying to detox himself at home. He will try to push me away by saying we should stop talking because all he does is hurt me. The other night he called me and said that he thinks he is the reason for the fuck ups in my life and the reason for my poor mental health. If he is aware of his behavior and how he treats me, and other people why does he continue to do it?

[Hulk_kitty]

People like this, are just suffering from low self-esteem, and have poor self image, either through bad parenting or some suffered some of trauma in their life.

The reason he treats you badly, is because he is very insecure, and a insecure man is a dangerous man to a women,

Unfortunately no advice is going to help you with him. even you can't really help him. If someone doesn't want to change for the better, then the only option is to leave the relationship. If your not prepared to leave him, then continue to suffer been abused. We all have choices, good or bad.

Every thing that happens to you, is a choice. If you chose to stay in a bad relationship, then you chose to be treated badly. If you chose to leave him, and find a good man, then you chose a better life.

[Hulk_kitty]

Most people need to understand, you cannot change someone, all you can do, is change what you do. The only thing you have control over in your life, is yourself. If you spend all your time trying to change your partner, you become unhappy, miserable, and fustrated.

[Billlewis]

He sounds like he may have some anger management issues.

[LazerBean]

Because he is a bad person and doesn't want to stop.

[Alex8736]

At the end of the day he needs to seek detox/rehab but only if he is willing. You need to take care of you and your goals in life and my best advice would be go no contact

[noohair]

The only person you have any chance of changing is yourself. He is a drug addict. You can't change that.

[HouseMoat]

Same reason anyone uses anyone. The joy they get out of getting away with it

[Anonymous]

You should leave him for me.

[Asker]

No thanks i just want advice