I’m a 21 year old woman and I’ve never had many guy friends. I feel like I grew up surrounded by girls who had lots of guy friends and mixed friend groups but I don’t think men have ever enjoyed my company at all… I don’t think I’m ugly, I’ve had boyfriends and men who approach me and they’ve all been pretty attractive. People have always told me i’m attractive
Men generally are avoidant of me in a non dating sense but recently my friends met a group of guys at a party and we’ve kind of merged I guess and went on a lot of large group outings. Typically the guys go the other group kind of started dog piling on me which isn’t uncommon this has happened before and I always play back and we always seem to have a good time laughing and bantering. Last week they started talking about how they wanted to violently attack me and see me get beat up… This time it was just them laughing not us together I don’t know what I did?
They don’t do this to the other girls. It’s not like I choose bad guys this isn’t even in a dating sense but I feel like I ’m always met with an intense hostility from men if not just meanness (like ignoring or avoidance) and I have no idea why. Is this just the way men joke or am I possibly doing something wrong?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
Whoa, those guys taking jokes about attacking you way too far is not okay at all. That's messed up behavior on their part and totally crosses a line. Don't blame yourself - you absolutely didn't do anything wrong here. It seems like some dudes just can't handle jokes or banter with a girl as an equal and feel the need to assert dominance in a toxic machismo way. Their reactions say way more about their insecurities than anything about you.
My best advice would be avoid being alone with those aggressors and don't engage one-on-one if they act hostile again. Stick close to your girl friends for safety. Some guys only understand respect when it's rightfully withheld. You deserve to feel comfortable and have fun without walking on eggshells. Have your friends watch out for any concerning behavior too.
Overall, try not to overgeneralize all men's attitudes from a few abusive examples. With healthy friends of any gender, clear communication of boundaries is key. If guys are stand-offish at first, give friendly patience - not everyone socializes the same. But never tolerate disrespect. You seem nice; don't second guess yourself here. Keep shining bright while weeding out the toxicity.
Men are naturally inclined to act this way. Due to our hormones
Why do make hormones tell you to tell a woman you want to attack her. I just wanted to make friends like everyone else :(
Woah
It's not your fault.