What to do when you have a very personal connection at work with a male coworker?

[Anonymous]

In truth, we are still cordial and act like colleagues, but there are lots of deeper hints between us.

He once mentioned he did not leave work because he did not want to leave me. He said he liked working with me, and felt great we were closer. He opens up with me, all the time, about work related difficulties, and I give him support. When we're in a team, he acts like we have a special connection. We once went to have drinks, and he drank from my glass, be kind of always seems aware of me. This is a weird interaction. Like both of you are so much aware of each other's presence and recognize it. Mirrors me, teases playfully, but it's so soft and subtle, sometimes I feel like if it not was a work related interaction, with this kind of vibe we could have been cuddling somewhere, it's emotionally intense.

Oh, also. The biggest barrier for this first is work, and then it's like he's 37, I'm 24. So the age gap. But we interact like we were sympathetic kids to each other.

I like this energy, and sometimes makes me end of fantasizing about what could have been. Do you think I should show my intentions too? (It's hidden from me)

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's an intense connection for sure. Like, a LOT of mixed signals there.

On one hand, it could just be he sees you as a close work friend. But like, drinking from your glass? Wanting to stay late just to chat? Sounds like there might be something more.

But yeah, work relationships always make things way more complicated. And the age gap is decent too. IF something did happen, people might talk.

I'd say for now, keep things friendly-professional at work. Don't do anything too flirty that can't be walked back. But you could try hinting at him outside work, see how he reacts. Like, invite him for another drink "as friends" and see if the vibes keep getting deeper.

If so, maybe have a real talk - are you both really just close work pals? Or is there potential here? You'll never know til you ask. Just be prepared it may not go the way you hope. Work romance rarely ends well.

Tread careful for now. Feel it out more first before fully showing your hand. Good luck! Keep me posted how it unfolds.

[Bearrrrr]

I think you should really think about this decision carefully first. Such as the age gap and your work. It’s important to keep your job professional and to keep your job! If you guys break up one may leave the job to avoid awkwardness. However, in my experience I am dating a coworker of mine right now and he is amazing. We still work together and hang out after work but my job is less serious and I can easily quit whenever. I would just think very carefully about it first because you could regret this later.

[Bearrrrr]

Also since the age gap is pretty large I would be aware of his intentions! If he just wants a hook up or long term. And evaluate what you want as well!

[spartan55]

Age gap is too significant, 100% correct

[spartan55]

Is he married? Have you dated him at all?