There’s this guy I’ve been seeing but I don’t know if he’s just here to fuck or if he really likes me. How do I know what he thinks about us?

[Anonymous]

He comes over often and most of what he talks about is fucking. But he does talk about himself and he listens when I talk too. We’ve had some pretty meaningful conversations, but most of the time we’ve spent together has been sex. I’m coming to like him as a person too though, so I’m worried about what he thinks of me. He looks me in the eyes a lot when we fuck and always seems to care about how I’m feeling and my opinion, but he’s made it clear he respects all women in general so I feel like it’s just that? I don’t know, I’m pretty insecure so it could just be my own thoughts. I’m finding myself wanting to please him more than anything lately. I absolutely adore him, he’s fucking amazing, he’s funny, he’s taught me so many new things, but I’m also scared that one day he’ll disappear and never come back, stop messaging and just be gone.

[HollyK21]

If you’ve come to a place where you’ve caught feelings then it’s time to have a conversation about what comes next. At this point, all you will do is fall harder and make it more difficult to cut ties.
Even if in the beginning you didn’t want anything and were cool with this arrangement it’s inevitable for that to change, as women we are just far too emotional to be sharing our bodies with men for nothing but pleasure. Because of the nature of your arrangement there will be the potential for him to walk away anyway, since there’s no strings attached at this moment.
If I were you I’d rather it end because we didn’t want the same thing anymore and not because I was discarded once he gets bored or finds another body to lay down with.

[Asker]

I’m scared to confront him about it tbh. He’s the first guy I’ve ever felt this way with so I guess that’s why it’s harder for me to decide what to do? You’re really right in everything you say, I could most definitely get hurt in this situation. Thank you.

[HollyK21]

I completely understand how you’re feeling, I think we’ve all been there with a guy. The thing is, you have to prioritize what’s best for you over keeping certain men in your life. Sure you ride the wave and trying to be passive about your feelings but I think that will only hurt you more in the end, because you are depriving yourself of a genuine connection and relationship. This situation sounds like he’s just in it for the sex and that’s not where you’re at emotionally anymore.

[_Maya_]

Well that is a tough one. The first few sentences had me worried. Especially this part...

But he does talk about himself and he listens when I talk too. We’ve had some pretty meaningful conversations, but most of the time we’ve spent together has been sex.

To me that is basically indicating that he will have a conversation just for appearances but then wants to get onto business. Basically he will listen and talk about himself to appease you and get to the sex and not look as you say always after sex. Then the last few sentences had me thinking the opposite. Things like teaching you new things I don't think someone that is just after sex would do. I don't think he would waste his time. I am really torn unless you have some more info.

[Asker]

He usually leaves right after sex, I ask him to message me when he gets home safe and he usually does. The new things he taught me mostly also have to do with sex but he’s mentioned other things he would teach me like hunting and fishing.

[_Maya_]

Yep this pushes me back to he is in it for the sex which was my initial feeling. He mentions these things but hasn't done them. He could skip the sex and do some relationship stuff but that hasn't happened has it? I think he is in it for sex. One really good way to find out is see how he reacts if he thinks he is coming for sex and you say eh not really feeling it do you wanna watch a movie.

[Asker]

That’s a good idea, I’ll try this next time he comes over and decide what to do after that. I’m probably gonna have more questions after though. Thank you so much :]

[_Maya_]

You are welcome and feel free to shout out the questions here if you have them. I check my account regularly. Good luck to you and I really hope that I am wrong... sincerely hope that.

[spartan55]

@_Maya_ He would do that (teaching her things) because it keeps her somewhat interested for next time. It's a time investment.

[Asker]

You were right.

[_Maya_]

That sucks that I was.

[_Maya_]

Thank you for most helpful opinion and really sorry hun.

[spartan55]

You are fucking him with no commitment, so you won't ever be in a committed relationship with him. You went about things backwards.

[MrCommodore]

Sounds like you both have fallen in love 🥰

[boggboss]

Its so obvious he is with u for sex but don't want you to feel shitty about it so is putting in slight effort meh

[Pterodon]

Just to fuck