Why do guys like to pretend as though certain things don’t bother them when their reaction proves other wise?

[Anonymous]

A guy I like that I have been texting had sent me a text early in the morning. I read it but didn’t reply right away. I planned on responding when I actually woke up. Being tired was distracting me so, I laid back down after reading the text rather than respond. About a hour later, I woke up to another text from him saying “Damn okay” as though to say you read my text but didn’t reply. My read receipts are on but most of the time I forget that my read receipts are on and I also didn’t think it would be a big deal if I didn’t reply right away or that he would even notice. I replied and said “I was gonna reply. I got distracted.” His response was “Man, that’s cap. You read it a hour ago.” So I apologized and told him not to be too upset and he said “I’m not upset I just know that was a lie.”, though it wasn’t a lie, he seemed pretty upset to me. I wouldn’t have mind communicating with him more about my delayed response time because if I’m being honest, it won’t be the last time I read a message and not reply right away. I don’t do it purposely but I do get distracted and reply late. If he pretends as if it doesn’t bother him, I feel like his reaction will only get worse.

[Anonymous]

Men pretend like a lot of things don’t bother us but in reality there are many things that bother men. The problem is many women dismiss men’s feelings. I think society in general dismisses men’s feelings. Women want men to be in touch w their feelings, to express their emotions but when they do they’re seen as a little bitch, especially if it’s something the girl doesn’t agree w. Men also look at men who are like that the same way. He becomes known as the whiner, the complainer. Trust me a lot of men hold in a lot of things they’d like to say to women but we don’t. For one because even if it’s the truth chances are she will get upset, maybe even cry, get emotional then she won’t want to talk to you. So it ruins his chances of whatever it is he’s trying to achieve, whether that’s just having sex w her or sleeping w her. Damn if she cries now you’re the bad person even if it was her fault for whatever reason. Society treats women w baby gloves, we cuddle a majority of women from being hurt, from reality. Men have been raised to keep things to theirselves, because if you’re always whining like a lot of women do you’re not a man. Yes girls say they want men to express theirselves, but in reality it turns them off when he does, maybe not all the time but that’s not a chance I’m willing to take by saying ok if nice about this will she leave me? Even if it’s important to me. Women have left their men because he got knocked out in a fight. Because she looks to him for protection. So when something like that happens she’s thinning he’s supposed to protect me. But w all that said women tend to do the same. When you ask them what’s wrong, “nothing it’s fine.”

[Opinion Owner]

*if I cry about this…

[BarryLiverstone]

I’d say that while you seem to want to communicate based on emotions and content, he is kinda focused on the perceived disrespect and concerned how the delayed response shows your lack of interest.


You said you hadn’t been talking long, was this someone you met online?

[BarryLiverstone]

Also to answer your initial question; us guys have been trained to not be emotionally vulnerable in the beginning until trust is built as that vulnerability could be taken advantage of

[Asker]

Well here’s a back story, I’ve shown more interest than you could imagine. I even messaged him first, which is why we even text/talk now. I made the first move and let him know that I liked him and he only admitted to liking me after I mentioned it first. We met at work, he quit, So I added him on Facebook. I would make little comments on his post and eventually built up the courage to actually message him. I never make the first move because I overthink a lot. So, the fact that I did showed how deep my interest was which is why I found it weird that the one time I didn’t reply right away, he saw it as disrespectful.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ya you are right. That is weird he would get on you about that the first time. What had you all been discussing so late the night before?

[spartan55]

Nothing like getting in a fight over stupid texting...

[Asker]

It wasn’t a fight, but we i will say it was some tension and miscommunication.

[Asker]

As I said, I didn’t think it would be a big deal that I didn’t reply right away even though I knew he would saw that I read it without replying because we haven’t been talking to each other long and it’s literally just one text out of the many I have replied to.

[spartan55]

I guess you don't think being called a liar is a big deal?

[Asker]

I mean, that’s why I feel sites like this exist. To get someone else’s point view/perspective and possibly help the poster look at the situation they are asking about differently so why exactly do you think it’s a big deal that he called me a liar?

[spartan55]

Because that's an attack on your character? You just started talking to this guy and this is alrighty happening? It won't get better.

[Danny_dan92]

Coping