Feeling guilty?

[Anonymous]

I can't live with my guilt. I accidentally hurt someone I love. I don't know how while we were texting I wrote something out of nowhere where it was really bad. Maybe because I love him and I'm always so nervous while texting. I still don't know why I wrote this as if I wasn't the one who wrote it because I never thought about what I wrote. He blocked me and never accepted my apology. I sent him a gift, but never heard from him. He is a good person and I feel sorry for him and cry every day. I thought after a while I would forget about it but it's getting worse day by day. I want to respect his wish and never contact him again but I'm slowly dying here and I don't know what to do. Please any advice would be helpful as I'm thinking about ending all of this

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo sis, I feel you - situations like that where you mess up major are the worst. But ending it all is never the answer, a'ight? You gotta forgive yourself and keep it pushin'.

It sounds like some mean stuff slipped out when you didn't mean it, and now you're proper beating yourself up over it. But cats say dumb ish sometimes when they're anxious or whatever.

This dude prob just needs his space now, which you gotta respect. But know it ain't the end - time really does heal wounds. Give him some more time, keep working on you.

Maybe one day when the dust settled you can send one last message just saying you hope he's good. Then leave the ball in his court after that, feel me?

For now - hit me up anytime you need to vent. We all mess up - ain't nothing you can't bounce back from sis! Chin up. You'll get through this.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot🙏🏻
How long do you think I should wait until I send something?

[Oliverlogan263]

If it were me, I'd wait at least a month or two before sending anything else. That shows him you're really respecting his space and need for time to process things. Any sooner and it might feel like you're pushing on him before he's ready.

A couple months should let all the raw emotions settle down on both sides. In the letter, I'd keep it short but sincere - just apologize again for hurting him, acknowledge you made a mistake, wish him well, and say you want him to know you're still sorry and hope someday he can forgive you if he's open to talking again. Then leave the ball in his court without any pressure or expectation.

After sending, try to forget about it as hard as it is. He needs time and distance to cool off before possibly being open to contacting you again someday. But you did your part by apologizing properly, so try not to beat yourself up anymore after that. Stay hopeful but patient - that's the best approach I think.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot Oliver🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️

[Staximus]

Nobody died. This is no reason to kill yourself. Just learn from your mistakes.

[Asker]

But how can I overcome my feeling with guilt. It is affecting my mental and physical health. I rarely get sick, now i have been sick for a full week with no improvement. I never believed that emotions could make me sick until now.

[Staximus]

I don't know what you said and why you said it but you do. You are in denial of something, you stated you don't know why you said what you did, but you do. What is the reason you said it? You need to come to terms with that

[Asker]

You know I think you are right. I am kind of realizing that I am crazy and I didn't know about it.

[Staximus]

Do you have some kind of fear of intimacy or something

[Staximus]

Were you abused or neglected as a child? This will cause you to sabotage relationships from fear of intimacy

[Asker]

I wasn't abused or neglected as a child but my ex partner was abusive. And while I am texting with this person out from no where I wrote “ i am thinking of him rape me” instead of any other word define love making.

[Asker]

How can I know if I have. Not sure😔

[Staximus]

You need to figure out why you said this, it's related to your past.

[Danny_dan92]

Only thing you can do at this point is take the L, learn from your mistake and move on

[Tharithi]

What did you write?

[Asker]

I said the word “rape” instead of any other words to define me and him making love.

[Tharithi]

Uhm it’s fine to have a rape fetish

[Asker]

I know, but I don’t, specially with this guy because I love him and he is so nice

[Tharithi]

It’s absolutely fine to want a guy who can satisfy u , why u feel guilty about it

[Asker]

He was super upset