I hooked up with a “kind of a friend” while drunk last week and he hasn’t contacted me himself since. I have ran into him twice and we both waved at each other. I invited him for a party and he said he had other plans. Part of me doesn’t think it’s a one and done thing. I want to see if we have potential. I have been thinking to give him some space to process his feelings and maybe next month sometime I want to ask him to meet me for coffee to talk. When he meets me, I wanna speak about how he’s handling what happened between us, tell him that I think there’s some potential in us and I’d like to hang out with him more to know him better. I don’t know if he’s just not into me or not but since he’s the shy type, I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him I have been thinking about our time and I find him attractive.
what do you guys think? Should I let my feelings out knowing very well they might not be reciprocated or should I force myself to not talk to him and regret in years to come?
and how to tell him what I’m feeling without making it awkward for our futures or scaring him, I don’t want a committed relationship yet but I wanna get to know him more and learn about him. Is this a bad idea?
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Definitely do it.
Any suggestions how I should word it so it’s not awkward in the future since we see each other very often?
Think of something simple to do: coffee, drinks, walk in park, etc. Simple is the key. Then invite him. Keep it simple.
I have decided to text, “I understand if this is awkward for you but it’s important for me to talk to you about last year. Coffee sometime this week?”
But once we do meet, what should I say?
No, no, no... do it in person.
I will speak to him in person but I have to ask him to meet me somewhere through text
Why? Your odds of success are much higher that way.
If he doesn’t wanna speak to me after I text him that I’d like to speak to him, I don’t think he’ll change his mind even if I ask him in person. Plus this first meeting that I am suggesting is more of a confession/clearing the air and not a date
Oh my... sounds good.
What should I tell him when we meet so he doesn’t get scared that I want too much?
What you mean want too much?
Last year? You said it happened five weeks ago... huh?
too right yes!
Any suggestions how I should word it so it’s not awkward in the future since we see each other very often
just talk and ask him out for a coffee and a bum/cake
Yeah
You don’t think it’s a bad idea and I’m bound to be turned down?
No i don't
Any suggestions how I should word it so it’s not awkward in the future since we see each other very often
No not really. Just be straight up
He’s not interested obviously
So I shouldn’t even tell him that I am interested?
What happened when you were drunk?
We had sex. But we didn’t continue it as we both were tired so we cuddled and went back to sleep
You should be asking him what’s the problem instead of trying to invite him out is he ghosting you
He’s not ghosting me. He responds to my messages when I send them. Doesn’t talk about what happened. Waves at me when he sees me outside, and refused to come to my party because “have other plans”. I want to talk about what the problem is but I was thinking of also confessing that I have been thinking about him but before I do that, I thought it’d be good to give him some space to think about what happened incase he’s still processing it and is in denial. It’s not like we met randomly or through a dating app. We see each other almost everyday and have lots of mutual friends. It’s not normal to not acknowledge what happened in a scenario like this.
You’re gonna have to do what’s best for you go with your heart
I appreciate that, I just wanted some feedback from others to see if the reason he’s avoiding the conversation is because he’s embarrassed, hasn’t processed, regrets or what. And I am attracted to him now, I wasn’t before. But now I am, and I want to speak with him and tell him and also clear the air so it’s not awkward Everytime we go out as a group. Whatever he says I’ll be respectful of it.
Ok talk to him
He used you. Move on.
He was as drunk as me. I don’t think he used me. Neither of us got off from it and we cuddled all night and morning.