At a recent party, there’s a guy whose friends with my friends boyfriend who is clearly attracted to me but not sure if he is just trying to hook up or is actually into me.
Mind you he has a reputation of getting around so a lot of my friends warned me about him. And they definitely told him I’m not that type of girl so don’t try anything…so when we finally met at this party, not gonna lie, we have amazing chemistry. I felt very comfortable with him, but I’m also super cautious throughout the night.
But The whole night we were together. He came up to me, he was by my side, and in the end nothing happened physically. I said my goodbyes and left.
Here’s the thing though, we had a few drinks but were both still alert and aware, and during the night when talking to me he would say how he wants to take me out, and likes me, but wouldn’t actually ask, just imply it. Me, liking an assertive guy, would be like “alright ask me then” and he would then say “nah don’t do that.” As if I’m playing games, and then would say “well, do you like me?” I said “I mean, I wouldn’t be hanging out with you if I didn’t!” But still he didn’t ask. But we still continue to hang.
And in the end when we said goodbye too, he walked me out, and I know he wanted to kiss me but like I said I’m cautious because of his reputation. So all I did was give him a peck on the cheek and hug goodbye. And he later messaged me on Instagram like an hour later saying something like “wow I can’t believe you left and you didn’t even give me your number” and I replied “ well you didn’t ask!” And instead of asking he just said “yeah because you left!”
I never replied back to that because I passed out, but also, I haven’t heard from him, so I guess I’m wondering if I did the right thing of standing my ground and making him be assertive to make a move, or did he get the impression I’m not interested? Was he really interested or just being a player
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2Opinion
No, you have done the right thing by standing your ground and showing him your worth. You basically showed him that you’re not that type of girl and he probably wanted to test you out. He sounds like a player, obviously wanted something out of it but because you stood your ground and didn’t give what he wanted he couldn’t do anything. Also, by him not being as assertive towards you is because he ‘knows’ what type of girl you are, he wanted you to make a move so if his friends ask him like “ bro I told you she’s not like that” and then he’ll be like “ Nah she came onto me, she’s definitely like most other girls”. If you would have acted like that, he would have treated you like how he treats most girls. But because you acted like yourself, he couldn’t get past your barriers. If he truly has an interest in you, he will chase you. Never chase a player.
Okay good! Thank you for your input!
There's nothing that guy did that was out of line, or to suggest to her that he was a player.
@spartan55 if you actually read her description which I think you haven’t, it says that he has a reputation of getting around. Basically means he’s a player who has no intention of serious commitment. Maybe you should give out helpful advices instead of going around and toying with other users answers
Excuse me? Yeah I read it. @OpinionOwner "he has a reputation for getting around" Yeah? So what? People may say that about you as well. Does that mean it's true? Nice to know grown adults can listen to second hand gossip and treat it as gospel. If you read my profile you'd know I give out plenty of good advice, but we both know you are too lazy to do that.
Again, like I said, there is NOTHING that suggests this guy is some player. You act like you know what he thinks, what his intentions are... and you think I'm wrong for calling that out? Would you appreciate people assuming they know who you are? What you think? Of course not. But that's different, right?
Well, you did the right thing. If he wanted you to be easy, that means he isn't what you want.
The way you acted would definitely send the message that weren't interested. Aren't you way too old to be listening to second hand gossip from your friends? Very immature.