If a man says he wants a long-term relationship, does it mean he's focused on marriage?

[lemonette]

[antelope51]

We've been together 20 years. We also believe that marriage is a construct meant to contractually obligate two people to take care of their children. Since children were not going to happen, there was no need to formalize anything than co-signing on a mortgage together.

My dad said sometimes a mortgage can be stronger than a marriage pact, lol. It turns out, he was right. We haven't always gotten along in terms of "relationship," and I find I need to get different things from different people in terms of affection, communication, understanding, fun... but he makes a great roommate, and we've proven we can live together long-term. I like my house, it's my home, and I wouldn't want to leave.

Oddly, his brother was married, they bought a house, raised two kids, she divorced him, he got another girlfriend and she moved in... so now he's living with an ex-wife and a girlfriend and the kids, and it's just... people living together without all the drama. Everyone gets along.

Sometimes family is just family, and it's not about sex or romance. Sometimes it's just pooling resources with a good friend whom you can live with.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Not at all.

1. The difference between long term and marriage is usually a life of commitment and/or a piece of legal paper.

2. Anyone can say they want a healthy long term relationship, but are their actions showing they capable of being a health long term partner?

[mayurr]

True.

[JacobJordan]

Long term and marriage are not the same. If I say I want to be married it means precisely that. If I say I want a long term relationship it is entirely different. Marriage implies he ALSO wants a long term relationship. But he could just be looking to be in a long term committed relationship without having to spend money on a ring (which to be honest there really is no point as the ring is more a symbol) a longterm relationship could be effectively marriage adjacent in that it has all the markings of a marriage without the papers, rings, ceremony, government intervention. Factually speaking in the US a long term relationship is far safer financially for a guy than marrying an American woman who can then decide nah she wants a new man and gets half his stuff. I would sincerely advise any and all American men to not marry do everything but so you can't lose everything. If you want to marry go overseas.

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

No, it does not mean there is an interest in marriage. "I want to marry someday" means there is an interest in marriage, showing interest (even if brief) in TV shows or media that depict marriage shows an interest in marriage. However, despite there being a possible interest in marriage, it is common for wealthy men to disregard it as a liability depending on the laws that may disadvantage him if things do not work out.

There are a number of things that can cause disinterest in marriage: economic considerations (cost of the ring, wedding, etc), pressure (avoidance due to fear of not meeting expectations of her/family), and commercial reasons (risk to assets/wealth).

[sushi]

When a guy says he's into the idea of a long-term relationship, it's kind of like opening a book to a really good chapter, but you don't know how the story ends.

Think of it this way - it's like when someone says they love road trips. Sure, it could mean they're ready to drive cross-country, but it might also just mean they enjoy the journey, without any big destination in mind. Some guys view long-term relationships as a journey where the companionship and the connection are the main things. Marriage, in this case, isn't the final destination they're necessarily aiming for.

Then you have others who see long-term dating as the perfect route to marriage. For them, it's like they're building towards this big, beautiful wedding day. It's part of their plan, and every step in the relationship is a step closer to that altar.

But here's the real deal: guys are as varied as the stars in the sky. Assuming what one guy means without asking him is like trying to guess the end of a movie you've never seen. The best approach? Just talk about it. It's like, "Hey, we've been doing great together, but I'm just wondering, where do you see this going in the long run?"

At the end of the day, it's all about what you both want. It's super important to be on the same page, or at least reading from the same book. So, in a nutshell, a guy wanting a long-term relationship could totally be thinking about marriage down the line, or he might just be into the idea of being with someone in a committed, meaningful way without the whole marriage part.

[Anonymous]

Speaking personally when I select the option of wanting a long term relationship what I mean is that I want to date seriously with the potential future goal being marriage and kids; as my long term goal obviously if we don't click/connect or end up having a short relationship it is what it is but I tend to try to find others with similar dating/relationship/future goals. But I put the vibe out there that there's no pressure or if she is looking for short while considering long I have that framework in mind when heading in.

But, as others have mentioned it can vary depending on the person so asking further to clarify might be required.

[gayesblog]

Not necessarily. Saying he wants a long-term relationship could mean he's into commitment and stability, but it doesn't always imply he's thinking about marriage. I believe it is more about the depth than the specific form of the relationship..

[ZackBan]

Not unless he said he'd be intersted in marriage down the line.

Some people don't belive in marriage and so an LTR is just that a relationship.

If you want marriage in your life I suggest having a talk with him about his stance on the whole thing early on because later it will be a point of contention.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Marriage is a financial institution and has lost all its original meaning in my opinion. In a lot of places, you can still take half his shit just by living with him... the powers that be have to make new rules like that because they really just want their cut when you take half his shit.

[AmeriRiver096]

The decision to marry is complex and can be influenced by various factors such as personal values, cultural expectations, and individual circumstances. It’s crucial for individuals to navigate these aspects responsibly and communicate openly with their partners about their perspectives on long-term commitment.

[JTPeterson]

Not necessarily, ik my mom and her partner for 15 years were never married (thank god) for that. But I know I would be focused on marriage due to the experience my mom m went through when her 15 year partner died and due to the state not having common law marriage my mom got screwed over badly with that law not being in Minnesota

[HawkPerception]

When I say long term relationship on dating apps, my intention is definitely with the goal of marriage and life partner without coming off so strong. Pretty sure girls get a little spooked when you say you're looking for marriage or life partner. Not all girls, but a lot

[RingOfFire]

It may mean he SAYS he is focused on marriage or that he THINKS he is focused on marriage. But does it mean he IS focused on marriage? Maybe.

There is a long journey between intentions and results.

[magiusX26]

nope. nor does a marriage actually mean a long term relationship or commitment. look at things such as divorce, annulnent, mail order spouses, and even 30/60/90 (ehat ever the show is titled) day fiancè. showing how quickly marriage can be entered or ended. though there are some cultures where it leans more towards being a marriage.

[IslaTheWitch]

No, it means he wants a long-term relationship. Marriage means more legal stuff involved and doesn't guarantee anything... so don't mix those two terms.

[molonski2]

Not at all , they are two vastly different things , he wishes to see how it goes its a massive step from there to declare that you would be married.

[DarkWinterNights]

No, he’s focused on a long-term relationship. A lot of younger guys get spooked at the term “marriage”, even if it’s something they used to want. Virtually every guy has directly or indirectly been effected by a divorce.

[Nik1hil]

Not necessarily.

Not in legal terms. But yeah, a commitment that is at the level of marriage.

If you are in such a relationship, you can start calling him your husband. Even if you are not legally married.

[bobalife]

Not necessarily. I think it’s important to have those open conversations and their vision of what is long-term relationship to them at the moment.

[dynamicyandere]

For me, when I say I want a long-term relationship, what I mean is that I’m looking to find someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. To enter a relationship, with no plans on ending it.

[dynamicyandere]

It will go as long as it goes.

Would that include marriage? Probably.

But, it’s not a proposal.

It’s setting the intention to be with you for the long haul.

[YesterdaysChild]

Not necessarily, but I'm sure he would be open to it. The thing is, like with no fault divorce, if you make splitting up too easy your chances for success for long term is in jeopardy.

[THCTEMPLAR]

He either wants to be married someday or to have a psuedomarriage where his resources are protected from unfair family court shit and he still has a serious monagamy with somebody. Yes, this is likely a sign of man who would be the right lady's husband. doesn't mean he will give in and do it but deep down he wants to with somebody someday if not for unfair courts.

[ohmyguy]

No.., it means he is wanting to settle down... he wants to be with a woman long term... marriage could be on the table... but not.. top teer priority... only if it's guaranteed to be for better than it's dictated to be on paper...

[Likes2drive]

I’m looking for a long term relationship but not necessarily marriage but I wouldn’t totally take it out of the equation if I found the right person

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Not necessarily, It means long-term relationship. Marriage means marriage.

[AviatorTom]

Possibly thinking marriage, or he may just want a monogamous dating relationship, nothing more.

[DJB72]

Marriage means marriage. Long term relationship doesn't. If you want to marry him then ask him to be specific. It might mean marriage, but it's not what he said

[Joshydavid25]

More times than not it's probably safe to say he may need that.. But you never know these days.. A lot of younger people seem to be marriage adverse..

[fonduegirl]

Men generally weary of the notion of marriage so no, not necessarily. Like other people have already commented, he's into stability and monogamy.

[tzdc21]

Not quite. At least not all the time. Long term commitment and marriage are two COMPLETELY different ballparks.

[WhitneySnow]

Not always. He might want a long term partner but never want to get married. Or he might be lying.

[Yannae]

No. If you really want to know if a guy is interested into marriage you can ask up front. It's a very important topic. A make it or break it. Just like kids or no kids.

[nawtee_me]

Guy code 101:
Relationship means sex, long term means more than friends with benefits so you are not having sex with someone else too.
If it were marriage he wanted he would talk about marriage specifically.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, that is usually what it means.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

No, means he wants someone around but no permanent legal commitment.

[exitseven]

Not necessarily. I would think if he has been married before it might give him pause about doing it again.

[sage2021]

@exitseven
Yeah, it's called men-o-pause 😂🤗

[exitseven]

@sage2021 hahahaha too funny.

[Simslover92]

Nope. He may just want a long term relationship without ever getting married.

[Orangekiss]

Most long-term relationships refer to being married. So I would say yes.

[ColHathi]

I don't really like marriage. They're expensive, make me anxious, and I think they're needless.

[Twalli]

He's willing to see if it will lead to marriage. He wants to find his soul mate, so he won't stop dating you when the excitement of a new relationship ends.

[Ironco]

I would say no, he just found somebody he wants to be monogamous with and doesn't necessarily want to get married. But that's coming from an old man... lol

[A-John-W]

As with all things it depends on the person saying it; But that's what I would mean, yeah

As an aside, I don't really understand people who are looking for a 'relationship' that isn't long term?

[Jamie05rhs]

It depends. Some guys are fakers.

But if he means it, then yes. Unless he just wants to cohabitate.

[Massageman]

Simple solution - ask what he defines as "one-term".

[Alex-Snow]

Either that or they want a friends with benefits relationship

[Unit1]

long term relationships and marriage aren't the same

[rienna888]

Yes I think so but they could also be lying to get quick lay

[AmeerX]

Marriage is marriage. If someone doesn't say that then it's still unclear

[BLP11520]

Sounds like it to me. Why would you say long-term if you weren’t thinking about getting a ring?🧐

[Slapmynuts]

The likelihood is yes! He is in it to win it!😉😁

[Snakeyes7]

Not always but that is a reasonable assumption to make.

[TallAnon]

No, marriage isn't a necessity. I could live my entire life with a partner and never marry.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Not necessarily marriage but he's definitely not apposed to it

[Anonymous]

Depends on the man. If I would say that, it would actually mean marriage.

[TopDCO]

Well, it depends on who the guy is.

But in most such are focused on marriage.

[CrazyBadger]

It does on my book.


Dating is for marrying. Ask him

[jjj101010]

Not necessarily he may not agree with marriage

[Billlewis]

I think that's usually the goal.

[katiesmuff]

I'd say probably yes!

[rosemilk]

nah, not always

[strateguy632]

not mean that but might be his plan or not.

[Avicenna]

not necessarily, so don't assume it

[slatyb]

No, it doesn't. Marriage is separate.

[TheSpaceGnome]

It does for me.