Men, why don't you accept a No? Why continue to pursue when a girl doesn't like you?

Question

Why men still flirt and persue a girl even thos she said she doesn't like them Why you like the chase Why you like hard girls to get

TalkWithoutSpeaking · Accepted Answer

My answer to the first part of your question is completely different and isn't related to the second part.

The first part of the question happens because some guys are not happy with themselves and believe that they need someone else to be happy. In other words, they put the responsibility of their happiness in someone else's hands.

The second part has to do with trauma responses in my opinion and from the psychology literature I've looked through and read. The trauma that people that get some kind of pleasure from unrequited love so to speak, is because at some point in their life, they began to associate love with pain. This is more frequent than one might expect. So the trauma happens like this moreless:

Mother or father is abusive somehow or neglecting of the child. As a result, the child tries his or her hardest to live up to the standards and expectations the caregivers have of him or her. Consequently, the child ends up getting some kind of micro (or not micro, just normal kind) Stockholm syndrom, where the child associates pain with love, because he or she believes that if it doesn't hurt, it's not love, since it's the only thing they have ever experienced with love: pain, suffering of not living up to the parents' expectations.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

Well nowadays any man who does this in western culture is taking a very dangerous risk. But I know there are a minority of men who just can’t take no for answer. I don’t like those type of men anymore then you do. They make us all look bad. And yes they do exist and I am making zero excuses for them. They think it’s a “challenge” to keep pursuing to get to “yes”. But that’s extremely dangerous nowadays.

But there are women think they are giving a “no” without actually saying it. Like think they can communicate telepathically or something. Unless you actually say it straight up never assume the guy can read your mind. Most men don’t pick up on passive communication like women do.

Then there are still some women who give “no yeses”. This is also very risky and screwed up. Most guys are not going to persist if you flat out say “no” despite it being possibly be a mixed message that you want him to try harder.

Don’t ever do that mixed message crap. Especially nowadays. I think some women still do this and get frustrated when the guy takes the “no” for face value and quits. He’s not going to risk his reputation, job, livilihood or in worst case scenes his very freedom to keep pursuing after hears that.

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

Some men think they know what's best for women. Some men just don't like hearing no. Some men think women like being chased. Normally they think all women are all egotistical and need the begging and their egos stroked constantly. They actually believe all women are attention whores.

I personally don't want to be chased at all. That's too close to pushing into harassment mode. If I say "thank you but I'm not interested" that means thank you but no and this ends here immediately.

If I say no, I don't want it and I'm not changing my mind either.

laraWM · Accepted Answer

Some guys think that they know better than you what you want

lightbulb27 · Answer

I think it's some personalities. Probably because they have been rewarded in the past by being persistent and they like challenge and winning. After all... how can you know if you really like them? How many women have given in to their pursuit over time... it's more than 0.

Males have testosterone, which means... fight, challenge, take on difficulty to overcome.

theREELZNEEZZ · Answer

I accept no like crazy. Shit, my whole dating paradigm is centered getting the 'maybe' girls to say NO as fast as possible so that I stop wasting time on them.

But the reason most men hang on to bad leads and prospects is because MOST MEN DO NOT HAVE MANY IF ANY PROSPECTS.

women tend to imagine themselves as having better character or self control than men but they don't and I'd actually argue the opposite, they just benefit from the circumstance of ALWAYS HAVING A TON OF OPTIONS --- and in the modern age, that's been boosted 10x.

Let's turn it. When a woman finds a dude she REALLY REALLY likes and the dude just fucks her without committing. he's telling her no every day and second he doesn't offer to commit. so it's like... yo, why don't women accept NO? why do they keep going back for weeks, months, sometimes years?

BECAUSE OF SCARCITY, i. e. women are so picky that men who really excite them oft times are few and far between, which causes them to PUT UP WITH A LOT OF BULLSHIT.

Same phenomenon.

Anpu23 · Answer

I am going to tell you a secret. Most guys do not understand a no, why because of the following.

RomCom's in most romcoms the girl starts by hating the guy and by the end...

Well meaning female relatives, sisters, mothers etc. "Oh she just hasn't seen the real you yet, your such a nice guy."

It's virtually impossible for a guy to tell the difference between someone playing "hard to get" and someone who really is saying no.

So most guys walk after the first no or they pursue assuming they still have a chance. For many women both answers are wrong, "I just wanted him to try a little harder. But he ghosted me after I told him..." is often heard as well. Truth is you can't have it both ways, guys especially young men are horrible at getting social cues they often misread the situation so in an all or nothing world, which would you rather have a guy who gives up at first sign of resistance, or a guy who continues after a firm no? Because guys simply can't read the room as well as you would like. If you want them to give up, stop telling them that it's okay to continue, kill the RomCom trope, stop complaining if a guy gives up too easily, and stop encouraging your male relatives to continue after they have been rejected.

dragoblack · Answer

"No" means "no" to me, but with talking to guys that do it, it's because we can't tell if a girl wants to actually be chased or not.

Dating has too many mind games bullshite to it and not enough honesty or straight forwardness. Most the women i have talked to about it say it's because "being, straight forward isn't interesting or fun and it makes guys have to be creative."

I honestly understand the ghosting thing, because many many guys get butthurt from being rejected, so, it is safer. Though many of us prefer to be rejected, rather than rudely walked away from with no word.

Dating has gotten so complicated with mindgames that it's harder to fine someone.

From my experience, it's hard to find someone with a personality outside of "i just work and go home" and will actually be passionate about their interests. And online dating is even worse with next to no matchs and the ones i do match with, never talk or only give 1 word replies.

RavVid · Answer

Girls have been known to change their minds. Persistence can pay off.

A friend pursued a girl who consistently rebuffed him. Then he just stopped. She was WTF is going on. So she then chased him and he let her catch him.

Continuing to pursue is in the same school of thought as asking every girl for a fuck. No more conversation then "Wanna fuck". Low investment and short cycle times. 99 declines in a 100 girls is what I am told. Another guy kept asking the same girl for a fuck every time he met her and eventually she did.

genericname85 · Answer

hate me for telling the truth but when girls say no, there's a really good chance they didn't mean no.

like they could be overwhelmed with the confrontation and whith being forced to make a decision in the moment. they could say no just to get away from the situation even tho they want the guy.

or they could generally be unsure and just say no because they don't know quite yet.

like so many of my friends are now married to girls who at first said no to them... your "no means no" bullshit means nothing to me.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because most people can’t accept No as an answer , mainly people that were raised by parents’ that never saw any wrong in their children , that told their children everything they do is right , when a child is raised with that mindset they believe they do no wrong , because they never were told No

HawkPerception · Answer

Not all men like that. There are men with pride out there, that will not chase a girl that's clearly not interested in them. They also have the social tact to leave it alone when there I'm one of them. If a girl shows she's not into me and states that as a straightforward answer, I back off.

Unit1 · Answer

No one taught them that no means no.

And yet some of them were "taught" that "no" means keep trying.

I am convinced, that in modern times not many people teach (untaught) boys and men how to talk to women and how to approach dating normally. They just catcall and yell "wow, nice ass, i'd lick it clean for you". It's a shame.

Anonymous · Answer

They think that woman is indecisive. They think that woman said no because they wanted to test their confidence.

They like the chase and like hard girls to get because that signals that that woman is not accessible to every man and she will be more trustworthy.

nawtee_me · Answer

You ask this as if there is one single answer to it. There is not… It could be that she is sending mixed signals. She tells him no but ask her friends about him or wonders why he is not hanging out with their friends anymore.

It could be that he can’t take no for an answer, without his ego being hurt. Or it may have worked with someone in the past so he continues to try in the present.

maybe he just needs to talk and have some sense of closer to move on…

Paul09 · Answer

Men? Or some men? I don't even pursue anymore. If I did, some one says no, I 100% give up. These men you are talking about, are probably desperate. Will continue with you and others , in Hopes one says yes. I've seen in action. It's weird. I even had to protect my girl friends from creepy guys who just stand behind women and try to grab them to dance. No talking just doing. These might be the same type of men. Who knows really.

Anonymous · Answer

In my opinion. Most girls act uninterested/hard to get because they want men to break her walls and pursue her. And due to this game, lot of guys think they must push a girl and ignore a no when a girl rejects them or doesn't like him. SImply because other girls get mad when a guy listens to their No and walk away. "Why didn;t he try harder!" "Why is he now uninterested in me!" This also get taught by a lot of relationship-guru's.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I don't chase and I don't like hard to get. There's not enough time in the day for games when there are 4 billion other women in the world.

ManOnFire · Answer

In 2024? I don't think this is all that true for the vast majority of men. Are you sure you're not just trying to appear as if some guy is wanting you that badly?

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Some guys don't accept no, and they're usually drunk.. But some guys just are so hung up on that one girl, that they keep pursuing..

Dr_CEI · Answer

Please don't tar us all with the same brush, some of us were raised as gentlemen. Though I do love the chase, no means no

RingOfFire · Answer

Men are programmed to be hunters by nature. It's in their DNA. Hunters like the challenge and don't give up easily. Those are the two most important traits that make a successful hunter.

MrCharlie13 · Answer

No isn't always a definitve answer. The nuance it is said sometimes conveys thaty you want to be begged a little more.

And it's not like we like hard to get, most of the times all women make tyhemselves hard to get.

_Derpy · Answer

Because a lot of women play hard to get. I take an outright no as no. It means she's either actually not interested or I don't want to deal with her if she is and still says no.

slatyb · Answer

They were given bad information when they were young.

verylovelyman · Answer

There’s a lot of inertia. Very difficult to start and stop

Anonymous · Answer

I do. I then I get stalked by the woman I said "no" to. I think the better question is why do you women say no then turn around and stalk the guy?

Anonymous · Answer

Because it often pays off. I know of many cases where the woman finally gave it and said she was impressed by his persistence.

dfdfdffffdfdf · Answer

no idea  i am just the opposite , everytime i like someone i just managed to shut it down

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Only fuck boys chase and don't accept the first "no".  Regular men know better than to pursue after a "no".

DextroShade · Answer

If she's not interested I would move on and not waste another second of my time on her.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

No idea. It's totally embarrassing and humiliating to do so.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I don't, but if she rejects I am not averse to asking the only girls at the table.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't. Once a girl says no, I not only stop chasing her, I completely ignore her even if she tries to talk to me. I don't play games.

Anonymous · Answer

Same reason women do it.. Talk about sexist blanket statements.

Anonymous · Answer

Because men are horrible some they do more than that they rape, kill or they will deform your face if you reject them be careful the way you say no and kind and nice

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP... I ALREADY SHE'S GONNA SAY NO SO I NEVER ASK

Notherndude84 · Answer

I never did, no means no.

DreamLife7 · Answer

The same reason women do it.

Brianp · Answer

The guy has issues. Red flag

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

To me No means No.

Men, why don't you accept a No? Why continue to pursue when a girl doesn't like you?

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Men, why don't you accept a No? Why continue to pursue when a girl doesn't like you?

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