We are having sex but does it mean anything?

Anonymous

So I have a guy friend I have known since 14, we have always been extremely close and I have always had feelings for him though they haven’t always been made known. Nothing has ever happened between us and for the majority of our friendship we were married. Around 2020 we both became signal for various reasons and it felt like it drew us closer, due to similar situations. We began meeting up and going out more, cutting a long story short for the past 6 months we have had sex around 5/6 times. No times were planned, we never pre arranged sex and met solely for that purpose, each time just happened in the moment. And there were a lot of moments nothing happened and we just went out/ met up. He’s not overly affectionate with me, I feel it’s difficult after being friends for so long. But during the sex there is a lotttttt of kissing, he says he wants to look at me whilst he f****s me. Afterwards, we do kinda part ways as I think we both struggle with what comes next, but he always kisses me goodbye; even if we haven’t had sex. But the weekend after sex, he said I’ll kiss you know so you don’t think I used you…. And I kinda was taken aback, like it’s not a genuine kiss? After sex he’ll hold my hand whilst driving me home and smooth with his thumb, I’m just so caught up in are we friends, are we more and I think we are both afraid to voice anything in case the other doesn’t feel the same and we care each other off.

We are having sex but does it mean anything?
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