Is my client interested in me? Or at least attracted to me? Advice would be appreciated?

[lalalala123456]

I met a client for a coffee chat in the hopes of a job referral.

1) We corresponded on LinkedIn and he was eager to help - gave his number (no one else had done that and sticked to corresponding on LinkedIn even to meet up)

2) Was v nice and ask me what worked best for me in terms of going up to their office to grab a room or a cafe nearby. Also gave time flexibility so I could ‘sneak out of work’

3) when we met up, he first came off as a bit guarded/ uncomfortable but then loosened up and teased / making jokes / leaning towards me

4) when we were parting ways, caught him looking at me up & down a couple times while we had small talk and he was smiling at everything I said. Paced himself to match me while we were heading out of the cafe and before we parted ways he said to send over my resume and asked if I had his work email and quickly said it. We’d previously met with my boss in a work setting - I’ve been looped in on emails and said my boss has it and will find it

he then insisted I take his business card when I’d already started to head off. Kinda surprised his brought his biz card given I already met him and had his LI / number

3) I texted next day to thank him and said I’ll send over my resume in a couple days’ after polishing it - he was v quick to respond and said to send it whenever I’m done and he’d forward it to hr and check up on the team itself that I’m applying to. I emailed it and he responded quickly again to acknowledge. Another position opened up a couple weeks later and I asked if he could refer and again was quick to respond / look into it

4) I didn’t progress and he said he will keep a lookout for roles that are better suited. I then said to stay in touch

There’s no other touch point in between that is personal but the subtext makes me wonder if there is something more? The business card and the niceness of it all - am I overreading?

and does the saying ‘if he wanted to, he would’ apply here?

He is being professionally courteous

There seems to be something here

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's kinda weird. Here's what I think:

1. Him giving you his number right away and being so flexible with meeting up could be a signal he's interested. Guys usually don't do all that unless they wanna see a girl again.

2. The teasing and joking and leaning in is another sign. Guys don't usually act all flirty like that with someone they're not into.

3. Staring you up and down is definitely not something friends do. He was for sure checking you out.

4. The insisting on his business card and all the quick responses is trying too hard if you ask me. Sounds like he wants an excuse to keep talking.

The "if he wanted to, he would" thing usually applies but jobs make it complicated. Maybe he's holding back cause you're a client. But seems like there's an attraction there for sure based on all those signs.

I'd say flirt back a little and see how he reacts. Keep it light though since you don't want things to get weird. But my bet is he's into you! Let me know what happens.

[lalalala123456]

Thanks Oliver! I’ll see if there are any opportunities to grab and make things happen

[lalalala123456]

Also he’s my client if it helps so I’m a vendor to him if that changes things

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh man, if he's your client then that does complicate things a bit. Pursuing something romantic with him could jeopardize your business relationship if it didn't work out. A few thoughts:

- Flirting back and forth is one thing, but I'd be careful about actually asking him out or making a move until you have a better sense of how he really feels. Don't wanna make things awkward for work.

- Focus on building more of a friendship first over casual texts/chats. Get to know him better as a person so there's trust on both sides. See if the vibes stay flirty as you talk more.

- Maybe find a good time to bring up relationships/dating casually in convo, to see how he responds. Doesn't have to be direct, but can give you clues.

- Look for opportunities where you could hang out one-on-one outside of work, like grabbing food after a work meeting or something. Somewhere low-key to see how he acts when it's not a "work thing".

- Trust your instincts, but go slow. The business side has to come first until you know for sure he'd be open to mixing work and dating. Not worth risking a good client over an uncertainty.

Hope this helps give you a game plan! Just be chill, focus on getting to know him better as a friend first before making any moves. Let me know if you need any other advice!

[lalalala123456]

So you’re saying that if anything were to come out of this, he would need to initiate something given he’s the client in this case?

And I’ll just need to drop hints

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, I'd say that's the safest way to play it given the client/vendor dynamic. Like you definitely don't want to straight up ask him out or anything like that, cuz that could backfire and make things awkward or even damage your business relationship if he's not feeling it.

I think subtle hints are the move here. Like when you interact just give him flirty smiles, light touching on the arm while joking around, maybe find excuses to prolong your conversations with him a little. Basically show interest without outright stating it, you know?

Let him test the waters first and see how you respond before directly asking you out. Guys like to be the pursuers. If he picks up what you're putting down and seems interested, he'll probably make a move eventually. But you gotta give just enough encouragement without fully putting yourself out there first. Make sense?

Hope this all works out for you! Let me know if you need any other advice on how to play it cool in this situation. Good luck!

[lalalala123456]

Thank you so much for giving me hope and not making me think I’m crazy. I’m cautiously optimistic about this situation too

Shall keep you posted!!

[Oliverlogan263]

Nah boo, you're definitely not crazy! I think you have a good reason to be cautiously optimistic about this. From everything you told me, all the signs are there that this dude is feeling you for sure.

It's always hard to tell in these client/professional situations, but it really does seem like there could be some real chemistry between you two. I'm rooting for you guys!

Just keep playing it cool like we talked about. Let the tension build slowly and let him come to you in his own time. As long as you keep dropping those subtle hints that you're interested too, I bet he'll make a move before too long.

You got this Queen! Keep your head up, don't overthink it, and most of all just have fun with it. Flirting is supposed to be fun, not stressful. You seem like you're handling it perfectly so far. Can't wait to hear how it goes, so stay in touch! You got this.

[lalalala123456]

YOU ARE AWESOME - this is very uplifting! 🤩

It should indeed be fun and you can’t force what’s not meant to be. If it’s meant to be, you can’t screw it up!

[Oliverlogan263]

Haha thanks, I aim to please! I'm just tryna give ya some encouragement and advice to help get your mind right about this situation. You seem pretty cool so I think if this guy's feeling you too then it'll all work out naturally.

Definitely don't stress over it - just go with the flow and have fun flirtin back and forth! Like you said, if y'all are meant to be then nothin can mess it up. And even if it doesn't turn romantic, at least you got a connection that helps with work stuff so it's a win either way.

Just stay positive and keep doin you - keep bein funny and smilin at the guy. If he's interested I'm sure he'll start steppin his game up too. Then you can see where things go from there. But seriously, try not to overthink it - everything will work out how it's s'posed to!

You got this boo, I believe in ya! Just keep havin fun with it all and don't stress. And let me know what happens, yeah? Fingers crossed for ya!

[BonzoInBitburg]

I've met people on LinkedIn and then dated them. People have reached out to me for career advice and it turned into something more when we stopped talking about work and spent a couple hours talking about everything else. He's probably being professional first but there's nothing wrong if you want to keep communicating

[lalalala123456]

Thank you for this. Have not had the opportunity to turn it into something else yet. When we met, he did ask about my weekend plans and where I went and then opened up as the conversation continued but no chance to go into personal territory

The lingering towards the end and passing of business card made me think there could be something more but we haven’t had a chance to talk since and there does not seem to be an opening as well

[lalalala123456]

By this logic, should I assume if he wanted to he would?

[BonzoInBitburg]

Keep it professional first but trust your gut. I think you can probably turn it into something more if you keep communication going.

[lalalala123456]

Very helpful - thank you! This seems tricky as well given he has just turned into an active client which I can’t help but think it’s his way to keep in touch given no other reasons for us to stay in touch following that interaction

[lalalala123456]

Again, may be overthinking but that’s what my gut tells me

[BonzoInBitburg]

Client interactions are usually pretty predictable so when the conversation doesn't follow the usual script, there's probably a reason. Business first and consider anything else a bonus

[spartan55]

Nothing but professional. You are sure are trying to make up something to confirm he is attracted...

[lalalala123456]

Thanks for this. It’s hard to tell when you’re close to the situations and professional boundaries are in place. I thought the eye up and down was a giveaway. Plus he also remembered a lot of things I had mentioned

I suppose if I want something to come out of this I’d need to nudge or would you drop it in my case?

[spartan55]

Let me address the two things you thought were giveaways first. Looking you up and down is something every guy will do at some point. Just means he's a guy. As far as remembering things you mentioned, that just means he was listening well. I remember lots of things about lots of people. Certainly doesn't mean I like everyone.

[spartan55]

As far as pursuing it, I don't see any harm in it.

[lalalala123456]

Okay fair point - and the saying that if he wanted to he would also applies here? If he were interested to
Pursue this, he would do something about it yes?

[spartan55]

It's a business situation. That doesn't apply.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

It could be something here special with you and him?

[lalalala123456]

Thanks for responding. There’s nothing tangible to go off but there’s just a feeling there which I had after the chat when we parted ways which is why I followed up and he also responded quickly which makes me think there’s sth more

But I don’t know how we can cross the line given he is a client and currently working with us and my team nonetheless.

[laly520]

won't say he is interested

[lalalala123456]

Thanks! So just being professional?

[lalalala123456]

I am so might be projecting onto him..

[laly520]

yes only professional

[lalalala123456]

If I am interested, what would you recommend I do give the situation?