Why Do Men Cheat But Then Beg You To Stay In A Relationship Where They Are Not Loyal To You?

Question

I’m genuinely confused as to why this man wants to be with me when he’s cheated on me constantly and I’ve bulit this man up , got him a job , taught him to drive , bought him clothes like I litterally been a provider for him , I took him when he had absolutely nothing and was tweaked out on drugs. I don’t understand and when I ask him what’s the matter with me , he says I’m perfect and everything he could ever want yet cheats like I don’t even exists and we have a baby together which is why I’ve dealt with it this long

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well I am not justifying what he did whatsoever. I am this happened to you.

But you made a very bad decision to date and trust him to begin with. The writing was on the wall and yet you thought you could “change him”. Seriously what did he have to offer you in the beginning stages? The only plausible rationale I can think of is he is better looking than you relatively and/or was really entertaining and “funny”. That’s it. But considering his lifestyle I highly doubt it.

Anyway I see women especially young women make this mistake very often. They get turned on by challenge. They also get turned on with the feeling of altruism. I remember a beautiful young virgin girl I liked in college choose some strung out stoner to date over me. She literally said “I know he will likely cheat on me but I have feelings”. I remember just throwing up in my mouth after hearing that.

But the “heart wants what the heart wants”. You have the freedom to date/reject whoever you want. Your choice. But you are NOT a victim. No. Not at all. You choose to date and that part is on you. You voluntarily did all this because you assumed other people think the same way you do and they don’t. There were plenty of red flags but you ignored them.

You are young so take this as a hard lesson. But I have real problem with women who continue to do this bs and later look for shoulders to cry on. Especially the ones that willing date (and even marry) violent and abusive men. You are not powerless over your emotions in the early stages. I know hindsight is 20/20 but respect yourself and don’t listen to one word of his bullshit. Respect yourself and dump his cheating ass.

Because if you don’t and continue to tolerate this crap you will likely get bitter towards all men (which is wrong) and probably become a modern feminist. That doesn’t mean what he did was right. But you are actually helping him but dumping him. He needs a hard lesson. Needs to know there are consequences to his decisions. If you don’t cut the rope he will only feel emboldened to more of this crap. Dump him (but wish him well) and will feel better about yourself too.

JacobJordan · Accepted Answer

Dude probably follows some dumb ass red pill guy that tells men "guys cheat for sex it isn't emotional they just want some pussy they can sleep with someone and still be completely devoted to 1 woman" which is hilariously stupid if he was completely devoted he wouldn't need to cheat or want to.

_Maya_ · Accepted Answer

Sounds like he depends on you for a lot of things. Since you put up with him he cheats and knows you will take him back. My guess is he does that and then realizes what he's lost and how much you do for him and wants you back. By what you wrote you provide a lot for him. If you keep taking him back he will keep doing it. You need to break the cycle and make sure he knows he can't take advantage of you like that or he is just going to keep doing it because he knows he can get away with it. Don't let him use you like this.

EmyyWolf · Accepted Answer

Oh screw that.  Why the absolute “F-K” did you get pregnant with a broke, drug addict? SERIOUS QUESTION.  Do you have no “discernment”? Do you have no “common sense”?

Gent207-2 · Answer

Time to move on or work your fingers to the bone rebuilding the trust that's lost. It will take a long time- a lot of forgiveness and hard conversations.

You chose a broken man as a reclamation project to fix yourself, time to make that choice again or run

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Well, he definitely views you as an important asset to his life.. He's just taken advantage of it.. Before he met you, he probably felt like a loser and was insecure, but with his clean up and a job, he probably gets me attention and the feeds his ego with his insecurity, and so even though he may care about you and feels he needs you, he is tempted by other other unfortunately..

SotiCoto · Answer

Women replace, Men collect.
When women cheat, they're usually done with the guy they're cheating on.
When guys cheat... it is in lieu of being able to form a harem. It doesn't necessarily mean he has lost interest in the woman he is with, but that he lacks the self-control not to try to "collect" others too.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Sounds like you're a motherer and he's attracted to those who spoil and allow him to get away with everything. Toxic combo. Try finding someone who doesn't look like they need fixing. Let this one find shelter with his other woman.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Well he clearly probably knows he can't get better than you, doesn't want to have to pay child support but he knows he can cheat because you forgave him before, so he sees no consequences.

patrick994 · Answer

He probably realises afterwards the mistake he made, he is fine with you and begs you to come back because he knows you will forgive him;

aceleon · Answer

wants ''more'' woman like any biological guy but you are too good to lose.

Twalli · Answer

Cheating for guys is generally only physical and not emotional. So he still loves you but seeks sex with other women without building an emotional connection with them.

LadyKitty · Answer

You are a safety net to him. You should leave his ass simple as that.

OtterMan68 · Answer

Too many women take them back. It's one thing to give a cheater a second chance, but some women give them multiple chances

DreamLife7 · Answer

The type of woman they want they cheat with. The ones they beg to stay are the safe choice aka the one they cab use until their dream girl (the one they chested with) wants them. The ones they cheat with are usually hard to get.

normalice · Answer

They are trying to add to their collection not lose some of it.

strateguy632 · Answer

for the same reason gals cheat n think they can continue.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

You just answered your question. You take care of him.

Dargil · Answer

They want to retain that steady supply of sex.

genericname85 · Answer

why are you with these guys? there's a large majority of guys who are not like that.

Anonymous · Answer

it has nothing to do with the sex depends on the person

handsomelad70 · Answer

Probably because we (generically) want someone who'll be loyal even if we cheat, because we aren't sure how the other relationship will go.

Anonymous · Answer

If you built them they will leave sprinkle sprinkle

MackBoy · Answer

It is like he is getting too much from you as granted for him to cheat on you

Why Do Men Cheat But Then Beg You To Stay In A Relationship Where They Are Not Loyal To You?

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Why Do Men Cheat But Then Beg You To Stay In A Relationship Where They Are Not Loyal To You?

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