Why does a man pay attention to me but doesn't want to be with me?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Short answer: You need to enquire with him, work out where your at with being with him and then communicate that clearly, and if not getting a response, enquire if there is some mismatch between you (e. g. are we on the same page? then explain the page you feel your both on).

Longer reply:

When you say "be with me", are you using euphamism? or do you mean spending more time with you?

So, regarding why a guy may pay you attention but not spend a lot of time with you; There are lots of possibilities, too many really. I guess I'll do a quick list:

o He may just be really busy with work and life

o He might not be sure how your seeing him and be erring on the safe side of not hanging around too much incase he appears stalkerish.

o He might enjoy you as a person but not have a particular crush or deeper feeling of attraction, so just pays you attention when you run across one another

o The attention he pays could be illusionary. Usually if we have some chemistry with someone, it distorts how we see how they act and distorts how we respond. It could be he's not overly paying you attention, but equally it could be he is and your feeling he doesn't want to be with you is illusionary.

So, if you where speaking euphamistically, then there can be a heap of reasons a guy may turn down sexual intimacy (depending on the guy). It might be he's the marriage/religious type and doesn't want to rush that; He might be unsure what your wanting or even if your asking for that; He could not even realise thats "on the table", and just being his natural self without considering it; It could be he's not at all interested in you sexually speaking (though their would likely be other clues this was true, and usually he would not show you other attention, outside of professionalism).

[Asker]

Thank you for your thoughtful input

[LuminousMind]

Hi, I just wanted to say I like your advice and wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind giving your opinion on a situation?

[LuminousMind]

I'd appreciate a follow

[Anonymous]

He is too shy to do anything, or he isn't interested.

[Asker]

Noted