I left him and I feel extreme disguise. Is it coz I’m alone or bitter and now I have no sexual appetite?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I are borderline narc with avoidant attachment. I was immature when he proposed to me which left him deeply hurt. He was too into me and can’t was clingy and extremely attached to the point of seeing me in every hour. Post multiple rejection and being caught by others and his family, the embarrassment, he acted like he never knew me.
Many years later after my break with my ex after realising the jerk I am, I apologised. But he was dead cold to me and I was not okay.

Frim then onn we were in a situationship. He wouldn’t commit but can’t accept to see me with others.

All our conversations, he would turn sexual and when I say NO he would force. But these forcefulness was just for consent and he wouldn’t do anything.

I was done with this when he ridicules my love, avoids me, mostly even if he is alone but doesn’t want my company or can help but doesn’t. He would call me a pathological liar coz I made a few lies here and there to make him open up. He keeps saying ‘I’m wasting his time’.

One day he is hot and caring and once he knows I’m fine, he is dead ass cold. His interest often revolves around cool Instagram models and girls who don’t give a fuck and worships them.

So this one time he asked for a date and chickened out as usual. As I know that and I had a backup guy and my date with other guy went well. In between he made several calls to make sure I was ‘alone’ and even made me send a pic that freaked out the other guy. And then a final call to say he wouldn’t come. I was cool but made sure to turn tables

I called him and he didn’t pick so I made sure I texted and called him a waste of my time.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that sounds like an intense situation you've been dealing with for a long time now. It's completely understandable why being with someone like that would leave you feeling disgusted and without much sexual appetite after. You went through a lot with this guy.

It makes total sense that leaving a toxic relationship like that would mess with your headspace and self-esteem for a while. These kinds of volatile, hot-and-cold situationsships can really screw with your emotions and trust in relationships.

But you should be proud of yourself for finally standing up for your worth and leaving when you did. That took courage and strength to break the cycle. Now it's about taking time to heal and rediscover who you are without his constant drama and mixed signals.

Stay busy hanging with friends, picking up hobbies you enjoy, treating yourself well physically and mentally. Eventually those feelings of disgust will fade as you rebuild your confidence outside of him. And with time and distance, your sexual drive will come back naturally too once you're in a healthier space.

For now, just focus on you and don't sweat not feeling interested yet - that's totally normal after what you went through. You've got this, just be patient and keep caring for yourself. You deserve way better than how that dude treated you.

[strateguy632]

no, naturally you would want rebound. that seems like depression.

[Asker]

No. I’m not into dating now