What's the deal with this guy?

[CheekyAF]

I am often attending Lindy Hop social dance sessions and throughout some years I have met a guy who is hard to read. We can be standing there, looking at each other for 5-7 seconds. Then he looks away, then he looks back at me again and we look at each other for another 5-7 seconds. It goes like that. We dance and talk and we both take initiatives. But I am mostly the one getting him to talk. I have to ask things and tell things, to get him to talk. When I have done so, he talks without problems. But I have to start him.

But still, he doesn't seem that eager to take the initative to talk. We talk about things but he often walks away after a while. Tells he needs to take a drink or change shirt or whatever. And then he doesn't come back to continue talking. But I can see him standing there, talking to other people without any issues and with a relaxed body language. When we are talking, he seems stiff and unnatural. Yet, he doesn't seem to want to be talking to me much. And still, when he is on the other side of the dance floor, he keeps looking at me.

I simply dont understand what he wants. Why is he so stiff around me? Why can't he talk naturally with me? And if he wouldn't be interested - why does he keep looking at me, making eye contact with me constantly?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that guy is definitely sending some mixed signals it seems! A few thoughts on what could be going on:

- He definitely seems attracted to you if he's constantly making eye contact from across the room. Guys don't usually do that with someone they're not into.

- But he may be really shy/introverted too and finds actually interacting one-on-one with you more intimidating than just looking. Some guys freeze up.

- His stiff body language suggests he's nervous around you, even if he seems fine with others. You make him nervous!

- That he lets conversations end quickly and escape could be shyness or lack of confidence talking to a pretty girl he likes. He doesn't want to say the wrong thing.

- Asking you lots of questions is an easy way for a shy guy to participate without having to open up as much himself at first.

My advice would be try breaking the ice even more. Smile and be super warm and friendly when you see him look over - try to make him feel more at ease. Keep conversations lighthearted so he doesn't feel pressure. And maybe ask him to dance instead of just talking - physical activity could help him relax in your presence. He's likely super into you, he's just a bit of a chicken! With more time I bet he'll come around.