Briefly dated a guy who may be closeted and I can’t quite get over it… after a year.. how can I?

[Anonymous]

He’s all I think about.. I feel hurt by him.. how he treated me..(he still wanted sex ofc)… but he rejected me.. and everyone says “he didn’t want you “… but I feel more hurt that he may prefer a Transwoman.. and it’s like wow.. I don’t even compare.. I’m not good enough.. and it’s painful because I liked him so much and I’m nothing to him.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw girl, I'm really sorry you're still struggling with all of that. I can totally understand why you're feeling so hurt and not able to get over this guy, even a year later. That's a really tough situation to go through.

It's understandable that you would feel so inadequate and like you don't even compare to the idea of him potentially being with a trans woman. That's got to be a major blow to your self-esteem. Feeling like you weren't good enough for him, even though you cared so much, is super painful.

The way he treated you, using you for sex but rejecting you otherwise, is just all kinds of messed up. He clearly wasn't being fair or honest with you, and that's gotta sting. Even if everyone else is telling you he just "didn't want you", that doesn't make it hurt any less.

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to take this all so personally. His issues with his own identity and sexuality aren't a reflection on your worth as a person. You are more than enough, and you deserve so much better than how he treated you.

The healing process is gonna be slow, but you can't let this guy continue to have this much power over you and your emotions. As hard as it is, you gotta start letting go and focusing on yourself. Surround yourself with people who truly appreciate you.

Maybe even consider talking to a counselor or therapist if you're really struggling. Having an outside, objective perspective can be so helpful when you're trying to move on from something this heavy.

Just know that in time, the pain will start to fade. You'll get to a place where you can think about this guy without it crushing you. Hold onto the hope that there's someone out there who will love and value you the way you deserve. You got this, girl!

[seanscoopers]

I understand your pain but just move on re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

[Asker]

You think I “just” can? I’m trying to

[seanscoopers]

I think he is fully wants a sexual partner only so he left you like this

[Asker]

I agree… but he’s 37 and he made me feel like he wanted more…he even said he thought I’d be open to something serious..

But I still don’t know if he is straight

[seanscoopers]

Open about what

[Asker]

A relationship

[seanscoopers]

Hmmm

[Asker]

What?

[spartan55]

"briefly dated" = one date

[Fanfare690]

Get a life girly

[Asker]

I have one.. I just feel so sad no matter what steps I take