Why was I attracted to sociopathic men?

[KezHarris]

I think it was the superficial charm and how he made himself seem to great… and how everyone else seemed to think he was amazing and looked up to him.

I struggled to see through his facade, but now I’ve recently seen the real him — he’s constantly negative, moans a lot, hasn’t got anything interesting to talk about, overly critical, severely lacks empathy, uses people for his own gain, controlling, anger issues.
I realised all this after he made a joke about murdering me when I was giving him a lift home. He was never angry with me or anything like that, but apparently rages at other people for silly things. So I guess I’ve had a lucky escape and came out unharmed. It seems like some of his mannerisms have rubbed off on me, so I think I have what is similar to “narcissistic fleas” but more like “sociopathic fleas” if that’s a thing 🤷🏼‍♀️ he’s definitely not just a narcissist, more sociopathic but without a criminal background (as far as I know).

I've now realised the pattern and now fancy someone who’s emotionally healthy and have healed a bit, but as soon as I get a negative gut feeling or feel overly nervous around someone and it somehow turns into attraction… I know to run.

[sage2021]

My experience with something like that is that it seems familiar to you and that's why you are attracted to people like that.
Somewhere in your past you must have been around someone close to you that has the same characteristics as people like him.
So you need to think back real hard and figure out who was similar to him from your past.
It could have been an uncle from when you were young as an example.
But there has to be someone else like that because it's a familiar feeling that you are attracted to.
Otherwise you wouldn't have given him the time of day and you would have been repelled by his actions if you were a healthy minded person.

[KezHarris]

I think it’s older cousins and family members, then kids at school.

[sage2021]

Okay then we cracked the case 😎

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Every bad relationship you have after the first bad relationship is a subconscious attempt at a do-over. You end up finding men with similar traits and your subconscious believes “This time I’ll get it right and it’ll be better” but it’s not.

[Nik1hil]

If you get a wound, when it has almost healed it begins to Itch.

And if you scratch that wound , it will start bleeding and not heal.

Just like that, you need to abstain from dating or sex or sexual and romantic relationships for 1 year..

Let you brain , body and soul heal.. work on yourself first!..

[KezHarris]

Thank you!

[HungTexan]

It’s hard to know about attraction, but you seem to have figured things out finally. Best of luck.

[Manwomanmythmale]

Youd rather him be emotional and passive? Not manly.

[shortster]

It is easy to be fooled by flattery