What are major signs a guy has low self esteem?

[Anonymous]

Are there any certain signs a guy might show if he has low self esteem that he may not be aware of

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Appreciate the insight

[SteveSmith1985]

I think guys who have low self esteem show A MILLION signs that they have low self esteem that they are unaware of. There are also those signs that people are aware of. There's a lot of variation.

There are some easy to pick-out types but many don't fit into these stereotypes. But these stereotypes absolutely do exist. I've met many versions of all of them, (of both sexes)

1. The guy who clearly seems not as very confident. In the way he looks, walks, talks and carries himself. This is the guy who thinks he sucks (think the depressed donkey from Winnie the Pooh)

2. Guys who are more or less normal usually, but straight up talk-down about themselves sometimes it seems excessive, and it's jarring because they DON'T always wear it on their sleeve like type 1. and so when they suddenly say something about themselves that's really negative about themselves, it's incredibly noticeable. It seems weird and excessive/inappropriate given the context. This is relatively rare.

3. Compensators: These guys don't appear to have low self-esteem. In fact it's the opposite. Because they do have low self esteem... they hide it, by pretending they're amazing. (the guy who has to be the big tough guy to an excessive degree, who buys expensive flashy things, brags about how many women he's slept with; Talks about how smart he is or how great he is... to hide that deep down he hates himself.) Think... Donald Trump as the actual real-life cartoon of this type.

This is not an exhaustive list. Not everyone with low self-esteem fits into any of these types. But it really depends why you're asking (to know how to answer this in a way that's useful for you)

I'm curious if you're asking because you have low self esteem, and are wondering if people are picking up on it? Are worried you might come-off as having low self esteem even though you know your self-esteem is fine. Do you have a friend you think might have low self esteem?

If you're wondering if you do have low self esteem, you would be able to recognize it and identify it in yourself. (in your most truthful private moments). So if you're wondering... that means you don't likely have a low self esteem yourself. You might just be feeling shitty about yourself (for a multitude of possible reasons). You need to look at it more in terms of "do I have depression" if you're asking this question in reference to yourself. 🙂

[OneViewpoint]

Low IQ

Low achievement

Low ambition

Religious belief

Anger

Hate

Depression

Doubt

Fear

Negativity

People pleasing

Blames all his problems on someone or something else

Unable to take criticism or see another viewpoint

Incapable of introspective thought

[jennifer_bloom]

I find a guy with self esteem issues will build his life on unnecessary things. One example is that a guy who slandered me for years complained over a dozen times about how my activity at his old church threatened his friendships with other people.

It’s not normal to be obsessed with your friends as if they were a house or a child or a degree. Normal people can make new friends every month.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Self-deprecating humor, a refusal to socialize in person, constant comparisons of that individual to others either in the name of making himself look better by comparison or worse.

[RedThread]

Heavy levels of insecurity, jealousy, anti-social tendencies, not meeting peoples eyes while holding a conversation, constantly talking down about himself.