Guy's Behavior
1 d

Avoidant men: have you ever stopped ghosting the same woman you kept hurting?

I’ve been dealing with a guy for years who has a strong pattern of pulling away when things get emotionally intense.

The cycle usually goes like this:

We get closer / talk more / hang out

He gets overwhelmed, stressed, ashamed, or distant

He disappears / leaves me on seen / goes quiet

I get hurt and anxious, text too much, and seek reassurance

Eventually he comes back and apologizes

When he comes back, he says things like:

“I’m sorry I disappeared”

“It’s not your fault”

“You didn’t deserve that”

He admits it’s a cycle and says shame makes him avoid more

So this doesn’t feel like someone who simply doesn’t care. But his behavior keeps repeating.

I want honest answer from men who have actually been this guy:

Have you ever repeatedly ghosted / withdrawn from a girl you genuinely cared about?

Was it about not liking her enough, or more about your own issues (avoidance, shame, fear, mental health, commitment fear)?

Did you ever actually change with the SAME girl?

If yes, what caused the change?

Is there anything the girl did that helped—or was it something only you could fix?

I’m trying to understand whether someone like this can truly break the cycle within the same relationship, or if once shame and avoidance are tied to one person, it’s usually too hard.

Please be blunt but thoughtful.

Avoidant men: have you ever stopped ghosting the same woman you kept hurting?
Post Opinion