Was avoiding a solo drive with my female coworker wise or paranoid caution?

[Anonymous]

I had to tell a little white lie to my company. I turned down the company car for the four-hour drive to the conference, claiming I simply wasn’t interested. The real reason? It would’ve meant hours alone in a car with a female coworker, and even as a ‘golden gay, never been with a woman, no interest or desire whatsoever, that still felt like too much of a risk.
My entire career in cybersecurity is built on a foundation of honesty, integrity, and trustworthiness.
Yet #MeToo, while raising important awareness, also taught us something sobering: a simple accusation, no matter how flimsy its foundation, can be career-ending. For the mere fact that I’m male, that’s enough these days. The smartest way to stay safe is to remove yourself from even the smallest possibility of trouble. Better to be seen as uninterested than to gamble with something so fragile.

[fluffydevilxx]

I think you did what you felt was necessary, and everyone has the right to set boundaries they’re comfortable with. But as a guy who’s worked with plenty of women, I’d be careful about letting fear dictate normal professional interactions.

A four-hour drive with a coworker isn’t inherently risky. Keep it professional, stick to work topics or general conversation, and that’s usually the end of it. Most women are just trying to get through the workday like we are, not looking to manufacture accusations.

The #MeToo movement highlighted real misconduct that had often gone unreported for years. While false accusations can and do happen, they’re relatively uncommon compared with genuine cases. Basing every interaction on the assumption that you’re one conversation away from losing your career can lead to unnecessary anxiety and make collaboration harder.

For me, professionalism is the best protection. Be respectful, avoid blurred boundaries, communicate clearly, and don’t put yourself in situations that would genuinely be inappropriate. But I wouldn’t avoid being alone with female colleagues altogether, that’s neither practical nor fair to them.

Your reputation is built over years of consistent conduct. Confidence in your character, combined with good judgment, is a stronger foundation than trying to eliminate every hypothetical risk.

[AngryCarl3]

Back in the day I would have gone without hesitation. Nowadays i don't know. Workplaces got so toxic.

[DryGermanGuy]

Ridiculous, even as an American.

[413kim]

You need to decide best for you

[Anonymous]

Wise, very wise indeed

[imemma12]

sounds ok