Treat them mean to keep them keen?

[Anonymous]

This goes for both sexes. Treating them mean and being in charge is the best way to go. Being too sweet and giving them all the power will just make them lose respect for you.

[TheDigitalSaint]

I agree, but for guys only. The wording is off though.

The key, as a guy, is not to be "mean". The key, is to be stronger than the girl.

This means stronger mentally and emotionally.

Women abhor weak men and learn to despise them. When a girl gets emotional, she wants to know that you are capable of putting up with her during her mood swings, when the period cramps hit and when she's crying that you'll be there to comfort her.

None of that means you have to be an a**hole or treat her like a bag of dirt.

It does mean, however, that if a girl acts up, you set boundaries. No serious person is going to argue that girls are less emotional than guys. The trick as a guy is to set some guidelines as to when you will be quiet and let her vent, and when you will call her out if she gets out of control.

Be there and comfort her when she's down, but if she's acting like a crazy woman for no reason, you need to put her in her place. This contravenes all this "equalness" nonsense that is currently promoted in dating advice, usually articles published by single women. Women want men who can love them when they are down, but also handle them when they are at their worst.

This takes a very strong man to do. A control freak is not a strong man, he's just posing as one.

[swimming_horses]

"This takes a very strong man to do. A control freak is not a strong man, he's just posing as one."

You're posing as an intelligent man. Get a freakin' life! You always leave ignorant, moronic answers when it has anything to do with women. You're just a backwards guy espousing your backwards POV.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Instead of resorting to ad hominem attacks, could you be troubled to point out how a man who is secure in himself and doesn't try to exert excessive control on a girl is somehow "ignorant"?

I can respect if you disagree with me, but at least provide a counter-argument.

[Asker]

How ironic. Swimming_horses is exactly the type of overly emotional woman you stated in your answer.

[swimming_horses]

QA: Oh, you mean the sort of logical, counter arguement TheRetardedDigitalSaint gave? Women also abhor ignorant, backwards men. You want me to make my point? Fine, the fact that he put equalness in quotes clearly demonstrates he doesn't view women as equals. People who support euality between the sexes are not all single. To say so is fallacious and non-factual. Many men support women's rights too. He's a dumbass.

[Moloch]

LOL@swimming_horses - you basically proved TheDigitalSaint right.

[swimming_horses]

@moloch Seriously, don't ANY MEN on here have a freakin' brain? Get a clue!

[TheDigitalSaint]

Equal does not equate to sameness. A majority of dating advice ignores the fact that women dislike men who aren't sure of themselves, or try to act too controlling. "Nice guys" (I hope you don't mind me using quotes once more, or is that insulting to men?) often lack inner strength to stand up straight for themselves, much less a woman. This has nothing to do with "women's rights". It has everything to do with what attracts a woman, and what keeps her attracted and respecting you, as a man.

[Moloch]

“but if she's acting like a crazy woman for no reason, you need to put her in her place.” Calm down.

[josh_jenkins]

I'm going to disagree with both the QA and answerer. She's right. You both sound like you came from the 1950s. Some guys don't have a problem respecting women, treating them as equals, and gaing respect from them too. Some of us know we don't need to control a woman or "put her in her place." You guys make the rest of us look really bad.

[This_is_a_complement]

I agree with TheDigitalSaint for the most part... Lol at swimming_horses's illogical anger. ROID RAGE.

[sixstring]

Here's the problem swimming horses. There is no equality. Feminism has driven it so far that as of now, Western society discriminates MEN.

Yes that's right, there's more discrimination against men. The only men that support modern feminists claims of equality are guys who cut of their balls and put it in a purse, because the feminazi propaganda has actually made them believe that the bullsh*t arguments about men (liars, cheaters, abusers etc.)

[swimming_horses]

@This_is_a_compliment Guys use steroids, not girls ding dong.

[josh_jenkins]

@sixstring I am always taken aback when some guys try to go the "feminazi propaganda" route. We live in a world controlled by men, for men, promoting men, not women. Western society does not discriminate against men at all. It is laughable when guys try to sell this junk to others.

[sixstring]

LOLOLOL

We live in a society where feelings are more important than the truth. This is inherently female.

When there is talk about spousal abuse or kid abuse, men always get the blame. Even though the majority of kid abuse comes from women, and there are just as many men who get abused by their spouse as men.

In divorce, it's women who win the majority of times, same for custody.

Men get about twice to three times the jail time women get for the exact same crime. These are just some examples.

[sixstring]

Feminists also LOVE using the paygap as an argument for discrimination. Even though women only earn less because of the choices THEY make. The average women works less overtime, changes employer more frequently, takes more sick leave and vacation, etc.

There are more kids who don't get to see the father because the mother forbids the father from getting to see the kids, than because men leave the kids.

Women lie and manipulate more. They cheat just as often. Yet men get the blame for all this.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Swimming_horses,

I am about to demonstrate my original point in very clear detail. If you continue to use terms like retarded, dumbass and ding dong to describe me and other members in this answer, I'm going to take control of you and put you on time out. There's no place for your emotional abuse and insulting language in a civilized discussion. You either get control of your tongue, or else I'll block you for a few hours to let you calm down. The choice is yours.

[swimming_horses]

@ sixstring LMAO! These are ridiculous non-factual things. Not a single one of them. Get some therapy for all of your pent up anger towards women. You def need it. I feel sorry for you.

[josh_jenkins]

Not a great argument @sixstring. Women get hired for less money for the same jobs as men. It has nothing to do with working overtime, vacation, etc. Tour ideas are ineffectual.

QA I'm amazed you are giving her such a hard time when these guys are making such inflammatory remarks themselves. But you aren't verbally reprimanding them which makes me think you are one of them. Especially given the tone of your "put you on a time out" quip.

[sixstring]

link

link

link

Or are you denying that men get blamed for this?

In any case, you need to get your head of your ass.

[Moloch]

@everyone - sixstring is right about his paygap argument. Men work harder for the same pay. Men also take more risks. Male executives make more pay than female executives because they are in higher and in bigger corporations. Women taking time off to care for children costs companies billions of dollars, not to mention the men who have to pick up the slack women leave behind for these reasons.

@swimming_horses - no one is taking you seriously right now.

[josh_jenkins]

This is the point I was making (see below at sixstring's reply). They are making rude, abusive comments too.

[sixstring]

And josh, please stop pretending you're a guy. It's too obvious you're a girl pretending to be a guy.

Also, if women get payed less for the exact same job, then every single corporation in the world is retarded. Why still hire men if you have to pay them more for the exact same work?

[josh_jenkins]

swimming_horses is the only person I am taking seriously here. I was trying to give you guys the benefit of the doubt because you are bros, but jeez, you look like nutters.

[josh_jenkins]

I have nothing to prove. You wrongly assume I am a girl because I do not share your opinion which is assinine. The reason men get hired for more money is because it is a man's world. just ask James Brown, lol!

[TheDigitalSaint]

@ everyone,

Although I'm sure its an interesting discussion that can be had, debating men's rights versus women's rights isn't what the QA'er originally asked. The "mean and keen" relates strictly to a relationship and whether or not the other person is still attracted to you based upon your behavior.

All other gender topics have no place in this thread.

It is no secret that women prefer dominant men, baring few exceptions. Dominant may or may not equate to the man being a controlling jerk.

[swimming_horses]

I just love how the QA had no prob telling me to watch my Ps and Qs, but has no prob not saying a word to @sixstring about how he keeps telling folks to pull the heads outta their butts. Wonderful double standard! Bravo for machoism, because it's alive and well right here and now.

[sixstring]

Why don't you come up with actual arguments as to why I am mistaken, instead of just calling me a macho.

If you think that my arguments are fallacious, you are seriously delusional. To the extend you probably need to get a psych evaluation.

[josh_jenkins]

You got some serious issues @sixstring. Anti-psychotics may help with anger managment. You have got some serious rage going on there bro.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Swimming,

How about you actually post your own answer to this question? Explain what you think the original QA'ers question means to YOU, not what you disagree with. Or are you one of the anonymous female posters above? Please explain.

[sixstring]

I don't have rage. I'm just bloody sick and tired of women acting victimized and pretending we're still living in the fifties. Open up your eyes and realize that you women have it better than us in our society.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Everyone,

Seriously, stop responding to, or making new personal attacks. Stay on topic please. That topic is what the QA originally asked, i.e. "keen versus mean".

[Moloch]

Quite ironically, the person that brought up equality was a female - swimming_horses.

[swimming_horses]

@moloch How is that ironic at all? It's not. Besides I was commenting on what @thedigitalsaint mentioned about equalness. I think you may be unsure of what irony really means. (And no, I'm not being mean by saying that.)

@the digital saint In answer to your request, what would be the point of doind so when someon was kind enough to point out that nobody is taking me seriously? It would defeat the purpose.

@

[TheDigitalSaint]

Yes, she originally derailed the topic, but that doesn't mean we need to respond any further to that derailment.

Once again:

The question asker wanted to know: Does treating someone mean, in the context of a relationship, actually make them more committed/addicted/attracted to you?

If someone has a women's rights versus men's rights debate they would like to have, please do it elsewhere.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Horses,

Who's to say you wouldn't be taken seriously? I haven't seen you post your own answer yet, unless you are one of those two anonymous girls from above.

Moloch's own answer (not comments), I think was very telling. More women will tolerate (not that I think it is a good thing) abusive men, than limp-wristed nancy boys who masquerade as "nice guys". His point was a parallel one to mine. Women, on balance, like men who are strong, sometimes even abusive. Is this healthy? I don't think so

[TheDigitalSaint]

A man does NOT have to be a controlling jerk to stay in a relationship or keep his girl attracted to him.

He DOES have to be in control of himself, and call out his woman if she disrespects him. Some women aren't disrespectful of their men, so then this point is moot. But if a girl gets really emotional and attacks a man personally, she will dislike him personally for not defending himself.

In short: Women do NOT like, nor respect, men who allow themselves to be abused.

[Asker]

LOL 34 new comments guys? Are you serious!? Thanks DigitalSaint for trying to keep them on topic. I never wanted a debate about gender equality...

[TheDigitalSaint]

You're welcome. I hope that someone found the conversation educational. Add me to your friends list if you'd like, if you're not already on there.

[Moloch]

Like TheDigitalSaint said, it only applies to men. No mentally sane guy wants to be with a woman who treats them mean. As a man, you have to be assertive and control women when they get out of hand. If that means being mean in the eyes of women, so be it. You never see women complaining about their boyfriends being too nice; they talk about it in the past tense, meaning they already broke up with them. However, you see plenty of stories with women complaining about their boyfriends of how many years being a**holes.

[josh_jenkins]

Wow dude, "control women when they get out of hand?" Are you still dragging your knuckles too? This kind of thing makes us all look bad. Stop while you are ahead.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Controlling a woman when she says something that is completely insulting or untruthful means calling her out on it in a calm manner, not by acting like a cave man. What Moloch said is 100% on the mark. "Nice guys" that refuse to stand up for themselves when attacked either never get in relationships, or once they do, are shortly broken up with not long afterward. Girls highly dislike being around men who are weak emotionally and mentally, occasionally to the point of preferring outright jerks.

[josh_jenkins]

I'm a nice guy and have never had the kind of so called problems you describe with women. Never once.

[sixstring]

Liar.

[Moloch]

Just look at what women say. “I dumped him because he was too nice” vs “my boyfriend is such a jerk.”

[josh_jenkins]

You think I'm a liar because I disagree with you? If it makes you feel better to think that its fine, but we both know better.

[josh_jenkins]

Not all women say either of those things which is why neither makes for a valid argument.

[Moloch]

Oh yeah? link link

[josh_jenkins]

I'm not going to any outside links. My remark stands as I left it. Not all women say those things, making them poor arguments.

[Moloch]

LOL are you serious? Your argument - saying that these rules don't apply to you isn't valid either, according to your standards.

[josh_jenkins]

Based on what? Your opinion? I have been speaking from my personal experiences.That is the sole basis of my arguments. But to say that all women have made one of two comments is definitely not based in fact. You keep spewing hatred because I am tired of listening to it.

[Moloch]

To rely solely on experience to prove your arguments is foolish. Just because I've never seen a murder, doesn't mean murders don't take place, but by all means, keep stroking your already inflated ego.

[swimming_horses]

And to speak out of your own sense of self-righteousness is just as foolish. As is the murder arguement. Experience is life's greatest teacher. If you don't learn form your experiences God help you.

[Anonymous]

It can work for either gender if the person being treated badly has low self esteem.

I have known quite a few guys who worship the ground that their mean girlfriends walk on. Some of the stories they have told me make me loose complete respect for them and their girlfriend for that matter but it somehow works for them. In a very unhealthy, masochistic way.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Good points. In a healthy relationship, both parties are emotionally stable and respect each other greatly. It sounds like these girls/guys you know have very unhealthy relationships. When it comes down to it, my guess is that both parties would rather be in an abusive relationship (regardless of who is the abuser or victim) than to be alone. Personally, I don't think that's healthy, but if that's all they know, that's what they fall back to.

[Opinion Owner]

I totally agree. I never actually met the girlfriends just heard the stories from the boyfriends. These were guys I went to college with and knew through work.

[Anonymous]

Only kids play games like these. I'm not referring to kids by chronological age, just maturity. Mature adults do NOT treat the person they're interested in this way.

[Cherrylicious]

The worst you treat a guy, the better he treats you.

[sixstring]

You're half right, half mistaken.

Being sweet all the time and giving them all the power makes them lose respect to you.

That doesn't mean you have to be mean at other times. It means you have to stand up for yourself, be able to say no when someones unreasonable, and do things for yourself sometimes as well.

[DiogoRibeiro]

I completely disagree with this statement and honestly believe healthy relationships should be equalitarian.

[coolbeans01]

I agree with you to an extent