Opinions about guys who gets mad (or scolds) at the girl he cares about

[Anonymous]

Well, I have a guy like this. He is generally a very caring person, he cares about other people and their problem. He's also a good listener. Many people confides in him, sharing their problems with him. He's a good adviser also. Well, he never got angry with those people. But he got mad at me all the time. I know how badly messed up I am right now and how childish I can be, despite my age (and this really need to change, for my own good.), but was it necessary? His scolding quickly become his super-annoying routines. It's like he's my mom or something, but every time he scolds me there are always a pretty good reason for it. Well, guys, did you do this to the girl you really care about? Girls, did your man do this kind of thing to you? You know, scolding, telling you people will see it (your bad behavior) as a weakness and they'll use it to let me down or something similar to that?

[NihilisticSoul]

Given this happened to me recently. I did it because I cared and it came out completely wrong. Didn't help that she scold my friends and judged them. Honestly, we both screwed up. And what hurts most I can't physically show how I am sorry because we are not physically in the same area. All I can do is hope she knows I meant it when I apologized.

[Asker]

He told me he can't take my 'ignorance' anymore :( lately when he scolds me I usually answered him with just 'hmm', because I was too tired to say something else. And he actually getting fed up when I 'return' his scolds and he got mad :( I apologize but he didn't answer... Well, do you REALLY care about this girl you scolds, NihilisticSoul ? I mean, like in love with this girl or something?

[NihilisticSoul]

In my case this is the first time I have scold her (or anyone for that matter). I actually hate myself for doing it because she was there for me in the past. I guess this is a way of returning the favor because I would rather see the monster she will become through me first. Rather than doing nothing and just ignoring her like so many are. It hurts but sometimes self sacrifice is the only thing I can do.

In your case I have to ask how long has this scolding been going on?

[Asker]

He said similar stuff to me, he'd rather scold me than do nothing about it, he never scolds anyone though, and needless to say things that he said hurts. It's been like... 4 months or something, always the same case. I guess that's because I never wanna change myself (my bad, I know).. But I really dislike the way he said things to me, like there's something wrong in my brain for not knowing what I want (and for being unsure about everything), etc. Did you do that as well?

[NihilisticSoul]

I wonder if there is something(s) not being communicated to you?

In my case that's exactly what it is.. It's not that I don't care for her, it's because I do. I put on a mask for her during her last ordeal. Reality being I was hurting inside. I faced things too & we both forgot that the other had feeling. So when she said "I was there for you!" It tore me up inside because I wanted to say in tears "And that's why I'm doing this because I still love you! But it came out scolding... :(

[Asker]

Something? Maybe... I never really know what his motives are. We aren't dating. I like him, I chased him, and he acted so darn cold towards me when we're in front of our friends, but then he'd start scolding me about my behavior and characters if we're alone, as if he cares. He also seek some informations out about me from my friends (most of his scolds came out from those bad info), that's why I don't really know why he's scolding me. Is it because he hated me? Geez ._.

[NihilisticSoul]

False impressions are the worse. It's one of those where you know how to choose to react. See when I hear rumors about someone scold because chances are it's wrong. Most of the experience has taught me that. I don't think he hates you he just didn't know how to approach you regarding this info.