Disclaimer:- I am not a medical professional or trained in any area of this field so all my perceptions are homespun garnered from my experiences and the information gathering I did plus the conversations I have had with other people.
My Backstory:- I was diagnosed with mild bipolar disorder around 2008. I am 47 years of age. I have had fairly bad insomnia since I was in my mid teens sleeping anywhere from 0 to 3 hours a night for 30 years. I have had the bipolar symptoms with some anxiety and a small bit of OCD in the mix during that time as well. At times during the bipolar episodes I drank heavily to "cope" and gambled heavily to get a "buzz". Also while on medication I abused the prescription sleeping pills, often taking a month's supply in a couple of days. I was never hospitalised but saw a consultant, a therapist, several counsellors and attended a 10 day outpatient programme in a psychiatric hospital.
By 2012 the symptoms were taking their toll on me and I was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. This was being compounded by my father's increasing dementia which meant he now needed someone with him at all times with ever growing care needs. I decided to take a career break to become his primary carer to help him and my family but also help myself because I felt that since I couldn't afford not to focus on him a 100%, it might take my mind of the situation I was in. My father developed pancreatic cancer and passed away in the summer of 2014 (I miss him but that is another story). My plan to an extent had worked because I came out the other side in a better, more content place.
(1) The Beginning:- I have seen many great posts on the net along the lines of "My Mental Health Story" or "What Not To Say To A Person With Mental Health Issues". These are hugely helpful as they describe the symptoms, give helpful coping tips, show that there is outside help, they also educate people about the seriousness of Mental Health and asks people not to dismiss it. I fervently believe that you can't have too much information out there for anybody especially those at the start of their mental health journey even if they pick up one or two tips that help them cope then it is a success.
My definition of this time when it becomes a concern is if a person's has episodes of behaviour for more than a short period of time plus they are happening in decreasing regular intervals or constantly and they are affecting the person's health, wellbeing, persona, psyche, safety and functionality etc.
So you have been noticing that things are not right. What you should do is try to get as much information as you can. While I don't advocate self diagnosis and going solely by that , it does help to have an idea in your head. For 20 years or so I knew I had a version of bipolar from the information I had researched. It had given me a starting point and an array of coping devices to try with varying degrees of success. I felt mostly that given time I could work through any episode of my Mental Health Issue but unfortunately due to commitments/responsibilities to my family, friends, work colleagues or school mates, one does not have the freedom to do this thus adding more pressure onto yourself and a bad cycle downwards can begin. At this time I digress a bit, if you are noticing a change in yourself, more than likely others close to you are noticing as well, I refer back to the many great posts of "What Not To Say To A Person With Mental Health Issues" that exist on the net. There is also an element of the person who is affected by the Mental Health Issue not saying "I am fine, leave me alone" or "Mind your own business". Let's assume that 99% of peoples' hearts are in the right place so say to them "There are times I may be quiet, there are times I want to talk, feel free to research things about supporting or helping a person with Mental Health Issues, we can discuss them sometime, don't worry yourself sick about me that puts more pressure on me, which is not good for me". The last thought came from my contact with the Healthcare professionals and Carer associations who helped me with my father, they said "The top priority is to look after yourself, you are of no use to your father if you are sick as well". Your support network can also explain to others what is going on, for example my sister's children were very young at the time and I am sure she had to explain to them why I acted a certain way some of the time.
(3) Deciding What To Do:- Now you have done all research and discussed it with your support network what you want to do. Keeping them fully in the loop will be a great help to you.
Yes, I do accept there will be cases of people who don't realise how bad they are and who need intervention but this take is talking about people who are aware that something is wrong.
This seems to be the most contentious part for a lot of people and I do agree to a certain extent. I hated therapy and gave up medication because the side effects were worse than what they were actually curing. On the flip side I found the occupational counsellors very helpful and the people I met on the outpatients programme very inspiring.
In late 2008 I asked my family doctor to refer me to a consultant to start the process of getting professional help. The consultant diagnosed Mild Bipolar Disorder, I was a bit put out "Mild" according to my research I had all the symptoms, it wasn't until I did the outpatients course in the psychiatric hospital later that I met people with real bipolar that I went "Oh" (the dangers of self diagnosis, folks). I finally had a proper diagnosis from the consultant, something I could discuss with people who were close to me and choose the best path forward.
(4) Building A Strong Support Network :- Maybe I was lucky or maybe it was because I was fully open and honest about what was going on but my support network couldn't have been stronger or more helpful. My family and friends were rock solid giving me space when I needed it, holding me up when I felt weak.
Work gave me time off plus arranged occupational counselling and alerted to me to the fact that I could get state financial aid while caring for my father. They never blamed me for my mental health issue in fact their first question was always "How can we help?" - I thank them all for that.
Conclusion :- There is the statistic that approximates one in four people have some form of a Mental Health Issue if you add in their families, friends, work colleagues and school mates that must mean everyone is nearly affected. I am speaking only in general terms here, each case is different and who am I to say which case is better or worse than anyone else but I feel self knowledge, research, creating and communicating fully with a strong support network may be of great help to you. Will it solve every case, probably not - Will it help a lot more than it doesn't help, highly likely. If you or someone you know is going through a Mental Health Issue, my heart goes out to you and those around you. I wish everyone involved, all the best.
May you come out the other side soon
Thanks for reading.
What Girls & Guys Said
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Be careful, most of the time anyone mentions mental health on this website it gets taken down for "suicidal tenancies." Morons can't tell the difference between mental health problems, and actually being suicidal. But still good take, I hope it stays up! This website definitely needs to be more supportive of mental health issues. It can be very hard, especially building a support network. Keep at it :) Loved the pic of the kittens by the way!
Thanks for reading - Yeah I think social media is at a crossroads on how to deal with Mental Health detail - I feel the major worry is if it seems that people get a lot of attention online with their stories that the net is flooded with hoaxers and attention seekers meaning the genuine cases get lost in the deluge because people get annoyed with these types of posts.
I think there are lots of things that contribute to having a mental disorder:
- being formally diagnosed with a mental health disorder and living with the diagnosis
- loneliness and isolation
- not enough healthy food
- family history
All valid reasons and possible contributors to a Mental Health Issue - The research is ongoing to try and find out why some have Mental Health Issues, it will be interesting to see where it goes and what breakthroughs are made - Thanks for reading.
I have never been diagnosed with or have been suspected of having a mental health issue. But then, I think I have an incredible amount of control over my body. I believe that mental illness is a neuropathological condition or maladaptive behavior. In abnormal psychology, there are the 4 Ds that characterize a mental health disorder. Dysfunctional, distress, deviant, and dangerous. Having one doesn't cut it. One two or more raises the chance that someone may have a mental illness.
Yes I think most people who have been diagnosed with Mental Health Issue would fall into the first two Ds - Where Dysfunction and Distress are happening - The latter two probably fall into the criminal area.
I've fought off depression for years
I don't want to lose the fight although there are many days I'd rather be not so much dead but just asleep not dealing with everything
It's hard to describe but I really am my own worst enemy like the depression tells me stuff I'd never tell myself.
My hope is that when I finally do die I'll rest it's a long road
I am sorry to hear that - As I said in the piece never stop researching, you might come across a new coping mechanism tip or a support site that helps - I did the 10 day outpatient course, I was initially wary of it, I don't recall anything too great about the course but you know what talking to other people on the course who had Mental Health Issues I found really inspiring and very helpful - You find support in the oddest places.