Do you or someone you know have bipolar disorder? I need help coping with my boyfriend since he has been unofficially diagnosed with it?

[Hulkette86]

My boyfriend has bipolar disorder, well a doctor told him she is fairly certain that he does. He's been back and forth on the issue, has denied it several times but I'm trying to get em to seek counseling. He's still unsure but has gotten better about it, I believe he's on his way to acceptance. My question is: how do I deal and how do I convince my family that he's not a bad person but just needs help? We had a fight a couple wks ago and they've all turned against him, yeah he had an episode but he's never physically harmed me or anything. I know its going to take time but I just need some advice. Thanks all!

[yosimitesam]

I have bipolar disorder, and I didn't get diagnosed until I was 34 years old. I went many years of hearing "experts" you know, the ones with no previous medical schooling or education in psychological studies? They're everywhere; friends, family, random people interjecting their expertise of knowing nothing and others with the same condition who are in denial.

I finally got tired of wondering why I was so up and down and all over the map and was diagnosed by a psychiatrist. Since that time, I've still had my struggles, but I can manage those struggles much more effectively and can function in public a lot better than before. My wife is also bipolar, so we both understand one another and support each other as best we can when we are having problems.

Just remind your boyfriend that a diagnosis isn't a death sentence, and people who love him will be happy he is getting help. I think it's great you understand he has a mental condition and know it's nothing you are doing personally to make him act out.

Your parents are probably going to have to take a while to let him back in their good graces, but as long as he's getting help and possibly taking his meds (if he is prescribed any) they'll come around as he moods stabilization will become more obvious.

There are also clinics for people without insurance or afraid of the costs involved, where they are given meds by the pharmaceutical companies to help those who can't just fork over $300.00 for a monthly supply of Depakote. (yes, I've paid that before).

He'll be okay, and support him as long as he is offering to support himself by having a desire to get better. If he wants to stay in denial and continues out of control with his mood disorder, then you may need to think about what's ultimately best for you. He needs to want to help himself, too.

Good luck,

[Hulkette86]

Awesome! Thank you yosimitesam!! I greatly appreciate your comment, it makes me feel much better and hopeful :) I'm happy to hear you and your wife got through this too, that's wonderful!! Really this helps, I'm gonna keep trying but if he ultimately refuses then I should walk away. Thanks again, you've been a great help :)

[yosimitesam]

You're so welcome, and I think you've got the right mindset in giving him your support, but also keeping your personal boundaries in place as to what will ultimately be acceptable.

Also, thank you for the kinds words regarding my wife and I. We've both been dealing with this for a long time, which made it easier for us when we met and started dating. I think had we met before we got our issues under control, we both would have missed out on a really wonderful relationship.

I admire you for your compassion, and also am glad to see you're willing to walk away if he ultimately refuses to get help.