Could this be a mild form of social anxiety?

[Anonymous]

I think I might have mild social anxiety but I'm not sure because it seems to affect me in very random ways. Although I tend to be on the quieter side, if I'm involved with or in a conversation with someone I usually don't find it too hard to speak up and talk, however I have a very strong fear and almost inability of approaching and striking up a conversation with someone I don't know. I can public speak fairly well, my hands and voice shakes a little involuntarly but I personally feel comfident and decently comfortable speaking in front of a decently large group. The things that really make me wonder if I might have mild socail anxiety are small but very odd things I do. For example: If I have to throw something out or sharpen a pencil etc. in a class I usually inconviencience myself by holding on to trash or writing with an unsharp pencil etc. just because the idea of having to get up and direct attention towards myself from the entire class uneases me too much. I also won't return items to a store or take time to pull change out of my wallet because I'm scared I'll anger the cashier/people in line behind me so I keep items I'll never use and pay only with dollars. I also have missed important homework assignments because I didn't hear the teacher say it the first time and I'm scared if I ask to repeat it they will get angry. In general I'm also really self consious around total strangers, and when I'm around very outgoing friends it gives me EXTREME emotional distress if they start directing attention towards us/ act rude/ are being very loud or generally doing something I think will direct attention or make complete strangers not like us even though I shouldn't care. Things like this genuinley inconvienience me but I can't seem to bring myself to stop acting like this and I feel like my other friends don't experience these same worries. I feel ignorant calling it socail anxiety because I know other people have it much worse but I dont know what else to call it.

[Fibbett]

This actually sounds very much like classic Social Anxiety Disorder to me. Whether or not you would meet the criteria on the DSM-V, it seems like it's the same root issue.

First: you aren't alone. I had the EXACT same thing, only I let it get worse over time. In fact, this problem is far more common than sufferers think, but since they are afraid to talk about it, they don't know that each other is out there.

Second: It is very treatable. A therapist is best option. A psychologist should be able to help you. Self-treatment CAN work well with the right literature, but you have to hope you get the right literature and success rates are not as high. So I recommend trying a psychologist first.

Third: They should, after a few sessions, be able to suggest one or more treatment options such as Cognitive Behavior Therapy. If you are unfamiliar, this may sound fancy or exotic or even not like real science. But it's all quite practical. With social anxiety, the problem is a brain issue, and it can be solved through cognition. CBT works extremely well for this. It may take some time, but the odds are excellent that you will, at the very least, see improvement.

I suffered from a severe case, and I saw a turn around rather quickly. The sooner you do it, the more of your life you get to live. So I recommend visiting a psychologist and opening up as soon as you can. (And bear in mind, whatever you feel like you can stand to talk about, they have heard MUCH MUCH worse and more awkward/painful things. You can be totally open with them).

[Asker]

Thank you so much, I feel like this was really the push I needed to start taking this seriously and not brush it off as me just being ridiculous. My parents would probably think I'm overacting if I tell them I might have social anxiety and I'm only 16 so I can't consult a therapist without them, so I guess for now I'll just find any information I can by myself and see if it will help and if worse comes to worse I'll seek a professional when I move out for college. This was really validating, thank you so much.

[Dannii]

It is a bit of social anxiety, but well, you can get over it! Learn to be comfortable with yourself. I understand the part about public scrutiny, lots of people don't like it, so that's normal. When I was younger, I don't even dare to eat cookies in public because it makes so much noise ugh. I've gotten over it tho.
Look into the mirror everyday and tell yourself that you're beautiful and confident. Don't let anyone bring you down! I would encourage you to be more confident, try to strike up a conversation with people (maybe nice looking females who don't intimidate you). Share your thoughts with a close friend, I'm pretty sure you'll get past this! Don't let anyone or anything intimidate you! Stay strong :)

[Asker]

Thank you so much, this is really appreciated! I'm definitely making progress, I used to not speak to anyone I didn't know personally unless they spoke to me, but now if I'm in a conversation with people I do make an effort to speak at my own will. It's slow progress, but still progress. I'll definitely keep your words in mind whenever I get anxious, hopefully I can follow through with them as well. Thank you for the words of encouragement, they're definitely take to heart!

[Dannii]

You're welcome! Don't worry cos you're not alone. You can message me if you need help. I am getting over being an introvert and trying to talk to people too :)