Say you have a chronic disease, not something that physically affects you but could be passed on to your kids, when do you tell the significant other?

Question

For more in depth, its something that can be taken care of via medication, kinda like diabetes, but also has the potential, left untreated to kill you. This could get passes on to your kids and even grandkids. So when does this become relevant information for the significant other but also something you don't want to scare them off with?

redeyemindtricks · Accepted Answer

This hypothetical seems a bit farfetched to me. If it doesn't physically affect me, why would I even know about it? I'm sure I'm a carrier for 10,000 random things that I don't and won't even know about, because... well, because they are asymptomatic. (:

But, ok, let's suspend disbelief enough to allow that.

You said that the condition can be controlled with meds.
OK, then, I don't see the problem. What's the problem? As long as meds are available, we're good.
If the world gets to a place where meds are no longer available in 1st world countries, then our problems are probably much bigger and deeper than diseases.

kat_gran · Accepted Answer

When you are in a relationship or when:
1) the relationship is getting serious.
2) when you are going to live together
3) when you are planning to get married
4) when you are planning to have kids
5) when you are both speaking and talking about your future together
6) If you are in a relationship with someone whom you see or consider them a long term or serious partner.

They also should have a choice prior to being rolled in only to find out that you were hiding this from them all along.
I hope you are doing well and take care of yourself!

ak666 · Accepted Answer

When you start talking about kids or sooner, or the moment you decide to have sex without contraception (and before the sex actually happens). You should be able to freely share this information once some level of a relationship is established without fear of her leaving.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

I have a genetic complication. I have a clotting disorder. My mother is a carrier. My grandmother is a carrier. It presented itself in my uncle with a blood clot in his leg. It presented itself in me with a blood clot in my brain that ended up with me having a stroke.

So... I made it clear to my SO that I have it (mostly 'cause I think it's a unique thing about me) but IF I were to have kids (huge giant if) then any potential child would be a carrier and it could present itself and there's no promise that they'd survive a stroke like I did and turn out normal.

So... yeah.

BiscuitesSwag · Answer

Before planning on making kids I guess.
But, what would change my opinion if I get into the risk or not is if it's something that looks like "Aa" (as in it's reccesive and my partner isn't a carrier of the same disease) or X^dX (=carries just on the X chromasoma and if it turns out to have a son, then he has a chance of having that disease, regardless if my partner has it or not). If there is medication to it I would still think about it.
Luckily, I'm not planning on having kids. 😄

BellePepper · Answer

I think it's slightly irresponsible to consider children when you have a hereditary disease as a person who has chosen to not have children because of the disease I'll pass on.

But if you're still choosing to have children I think the issue should be divulged as soon as the topic of children comes up.

itsallover · Answer

Definitely. I'm a carrier of the sickle cell anaemia gene, so I have to ensure that my partner is aware of this. If possible if ask them to get a gene test to ensure he's not a carrier too, just be be safe.

ccfighter · Answer

When u start having sex. Found out I carry a genetic bad gene and would never want a child or someone to have to make a hard decision.

Anonymous · Answer

I've stopped dating partially because of mental illness issues I think are hereditary. If I can't promise healthy, string children... What's even my point to a partner, you know?

Zendrya · Answer

I feel like that would be something I share close to the first date if not the first date

Anonymous · Answer

I don't want kids so it wouldn't be an issue really. They'd know I don't like kids and never want to be a mother before they knew about my illness probably

jacquesvol · Answer

I'll tell her, of course.

Say you have a chronic disease, not something that physically affects you but could be passed on to your kids, when do you tell the significant other?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is there anything that you feel you cannot tell your partner because it would end up much worse than not telling?

Say you have a chronic disease, not something that physically affects you but could be passed on to your kids, when do you tell the significant other?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is there anything that you feel you cannot tell your partner because it would end up much worse than not telling?

We're glad to see you liked this post.