I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now, and I've noticed a couple of things:
- He's pretty quiet, especially around adults or new people
- He really tends to keep to himself
- He's usually very passive about things concerning him and his opinions, though he will be assertive if it involves me not being able to do something (i. e. making sure that I (vegitarian) always have something to eat when people order food)
- He's overly concerned about negative evaluation, and is really afraid of being embarrassed or humiliated
- He hates public speaking
- He plays piano, but gets very anxious about playing it in front of people
- He mumbles and speaks really quietly when he's around lots of people he isn't close with
- This morning, I was flicking through his photos (Yes, I asked, and no, I was just bored and wanted something to do) and I came across a few self-care checklists saved to his camera reel. This could mean nothing, but I was wondering about it because I keep a self-care checklist on my phone as well, because I need a reminder to practice self-care (ADHD) and most other people I know that use them have some level of depression and anxiety.
I'm just wondering if I'm over-worrying about him. I'm going to see him tomorrow, and I want to talk to him about it, because he always makes sure to check up on me but he never talks about how he's doing. Does anyone have any idea how to start that conversation?
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He sounds like me, apart from the piano part, I have no musical skills whatsoever.
If he is like me, he probably doesn't ask for much from you, but when he does bear in mind it is probably something he really feels strongly about. Try not to take him for granted (e. g. if he always does Job X for you, do it yourself from time to time, or at least thank him when he does it; I had one partner who set an alarm clock ten minutes early so I could make her coffee in the morning, it changed something I was doing out of love into a chore).
It sounds like you love and care about each other, I hope you'll be very happy (and don't worry too much).