Why do I have no friends?

[RAWLove]

I'm overweight, 250lbs, I don't wear make-up, I don't really do much with my hair (except dye it crazy colors), I have glasses, and I have my own sense of style. I'm shy because I'm fat, and I'm fat because I'm shy, it takes someone coming up to me and asking me things, for me to open up and show my true personality... People have just always hated me, my whole life... even before I was fat... I was chubby in Kindergarten and someone called me fat, and ugly and I was a very active little girl... but my father would give me adult sized portions, and not let me leave the table until my plate was clear... as he did that I became less social because I didn't have anyone to play with... and became overweight.

So why do people just instantly not like someone? What is wrong with me...

[Anonymous]

Wait, you're fat because you're shy? How does that work?

There are people out there who don't care about weight or appearance in general, and though they may be few and far between, you've got to find those people who will be supportive and respectful. It's nearly impossible to do so though unless you open up, and in order to open up you've got to have some self confidence.

Just because you're overweight does not mean you're worthless. You're just like everyone else and you deserve love and respect. Remember this and hold your head high. Try to be more confident--even if you have to fake it at first it should start to come naturally after that.

I have a friend who was in your situation for a long time, and I wish I could tell you some magic easy answer to help you out because I know it sucks, but unfortunately it's not that simple. I think what got my friend through was her self confidence, and I'm not just saying that to prove what I said earlier--she's probably got more confidence than I do, and people tell me I should be a model on a regular basis.

Don't worry though, you're not alone. You've just got to learn to love yourself, and that's all that matters :)

[RAWLove]

Shy=low self-esteem. low self esteem=little to no friends. no friends=non active. non active=gain weight. therefore I'm fat because I'm shy, and shy because I'm fat.

[missjustina]

I'm gonna have to disagree on the low self-esteem= no friends.

my self esteem is HORRIBLE but I still have friends. I just know how to hide it :I

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, missjustina is right. Don't tell yourself that's how it has to be, you know? If you do, of course that's how it'll go, but if you give yourself a chance and tell yourself you can change you position, you've at least got a chance.

[RAWLove]

For me, low self esteem=no friends... mainly because of the shyness... when you don't talk when called on people think you're being rude. people don't like rudeness. I don't have the self-esteem to go up to a person and say Hi! without knowing them for years... and even then I'm still nervous. and so it's up to other people to say hi, and try to get to know me, but they don't. they see a fat, rude girl... and that's not what they want in a friend.

[Opinion Owner]

Understandable... what you need is to gain some self confidence. Easier said than done, of course, but it's really worth working at.

[Anonymous]

Its only cos you haven't met the right people, but you will. You have to believe in yourself and love yourself. Being overweight can be sorted out, if you want to lose weight. Talk with your doctor about it. You say you are shy, I do know how you feel, as you got this way, not by being over weight but by being teased by others at school. It can affect how you feel about yourself and it can mark interact with others as a result, although things like this are in the past, they can still affect how you think about yourself.

First of all you need a plan. You say you are eating small portions, that's good, but, it is not effective with weight loss. You need to exercise, but I would advise you to see your doctor first to make sure you can exercise with no health repercussions.

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I also want to tell you that is nothing wrong with you at all. As to people not liking others, there are people who like others instantly. So it goes both ways really. You need take things a step at a time.

[31Ross]

Wanna know why you have no friends? Because your on here asking why you dont. Join a gym, cut the fatty foods, and have a little confidence. It really doesn't take much to change your eating habits if your actually determined. And fat people do have friends ya know, Maybe you should try making a harder try at become less shy? Most people have their friends they need, people don't go out looking friends so you need to take the intuitive. Being overweight does not come from shyness, it comes from laziness.

[RAWLove]

No it does come from shyness... but you're probably one of those people who made me this way... even in 1st grade people were calling me fat... I was alittle chubby...baby fat... but the more people tease you, and the less your parents notice what your doing because of your new baby brother, the more you do hwat you want... even with being active if you eat too much of even nonfatty foods you still end up a little bigger than everyone else... I've triedgyms and hate them... they make me feel paranoid.

[31Ross]

No! I didn't do anything. It's your own fault that you got that way. And the best part is, you can fix, but your too "shy" cough cough lazy to do anything about it. Grow up stop blaming others for your own mistakes and take some responsibility,

[EddyMetal]

You aren't fat because you're shy. I promise that's not the reason. It has more to do with metabolism, lack of exercise and poor dietary habits.

You really shouldn't give a damn what people think about you, because if they're willing to judge you on something as insignificant as your weight are they really worth befriending?

[peace-love-couture]

1)Lose weight.It will be good for your health,your body,and for your confidence and self esteem.60 minutes of cardio 5-6 days a week,strength training(calisthenics or weight training) 2-3x a week.Eat small portion sizes.

link This site can help you lose weight.

2)Don't worry about what other people think.If you do,you'll never be comfortable with yourself.Everyone will form an opinion on you,so it's impossible to please anybody.

3)Style your hair.Straighten it,curl it,do something that makes you feel beautiful.

4)I have no clue.It could be because of your appearance,it could be because you have low self esteem and it shows.

[RAWLove]

I'm trying to lose weight... its just very hard... and we don't have any kind of gym/money for gym membership, not to mention the closest gym is 30 min away... and I do eat small portions.

I don't worry about what they think anymore... I've learned not to... there's just no use... I am who I am now, and I will eventually change... Straightening it kills it... esp with how much I dye it, curling... my hair is naturally curly...

[peace-love-couture]

You don't need the gym,you can walk,jog,run in your neighborhood.You can dance in your room.You can go on youtube and look for workout videos.I go on youtube and do taebo videos lol.

Ok....well then wear it naturally!I was just suggestion that cause you brought up hair so I thought I should.

And You're obviously hanging out with the wrong people.Sure,other peoples opinions shouldn't matter but yours should.

[Farrag]

hey you can be my friend :) add me and I will let you know a lot of firends ;)