How can I hint to my boyfriend to lose some weight? :(

[angiemel]

I know it sounds mean, but I really like him, he's big and black and I love it, I just wish he could tone it some more, lose a little fat and make it muscle you know?

Updates

+1 y

Bleh. I made some slight hints about vin diesel in the new fast five, he got jealous and started working out on a tougher routine. so :P

[Jawless]

You can't just suggest that to him. You can't ask him if he's happy the size he is, and you certainly can't tell him you'll think he'll be attractive or at least more attractive if he loses weight. You'll ruin his confidence at worst, and at best simply hurt his feelings.

Alot of other peoples answers focus on the 'you choose him, don't change him' rule, which I follow as well. I'll try to give you a bit of advice though - can't guarantee it'll work, though.

For starters, you could casually talk about fitness through an unrelated topic, such as...I dunno...Hurley, from Lost, lol. Find an episode where he brings up something about being overweight, or has a problem due to his fatness. This is just an example, you should find your own material etc. When the time is right, strike up a conversation about the problems it would cause - then express concern that your boyfriend might suffer the same problems - but only if he isn't careful. Don't tell him he will if he stays fat, just suggest it could happen if he lets himself go. It's possible he'll be affected by it, and try to shift a little weight.

Or, you could pretend to stimulate his ego while at the same time, touching parts of him he won't enjoy you touching. It worked for me, once - my girlfriend touched my upper arms and squeezed them, saying they were big muscles. Well, they were bound to be, because I'm a male and she's female - her arms and therfore muscles are smaller. My arms were like, at least 70% fat in the area she was touching, though. Her liking muscles that didn't exist - a mistake on her part - panicked me. So I hit the weights and built muscles up without her noticing for a few months. It's sorted now. That might have an effect on him, somewhat?

Other than that, I can't really help you. It's difficult to bring up things like this without hurting feelings, so you should tread carefully. Try to influence his diet and routine by pressing yours onto him - it's nasty when you say it like that, but not particularily super nasty.

Hmm. Hope that made sense and stuff? I kind of blagged it. I'm tired. Sorry. :)

I still think you should leave him be, but good luck with whatever you choose. :)

[normster]

Lucky you, that's a boy, imagine if he would have to tell you this.

Depending on the type of work he does, he might not need to work out, but to cut on junk.

You also may try to, when you both have to go somewhere get in the car first, lock the doors and drive slow, 3 times per week, it might also improve your sex life.

Good luck.

[angiemel]

? I didn't get the lastparagraph...? and we don't have a sex life. we're both celibate.

[queenofpeen]

Do you exercise? You could tell him how great exercising feels and suggest that he try it.

[angiemel]

yeah I exercise a lot, and he does too, I just think he need little more, coupled with good eating you know?

[queenofpeen]

Well, I kind of agree with Shaun here. You started dating him the way he is now, and now you want to change him?

Is he so big that his health is at risk?

[angiemel]

No.. its not like I'm making him a project... he exercises and stuff, he works as a bouncer, ... I see your point, I feel bitchy about it... damn it..

[queenofpeen]

I think it's okay to want improvements, but it's much better to accept someone the way they are :P If you're still attracted to him and love him, it's not worth voicing your opinion and making it seem like your love is conditional.

Like SnackG said, maybe you could ask him to work out with you. You could "guide" him toward a more intense workout.

[udolipixie]

Tell him you would find him sexier without the fat.

[angiemel]

aw lol! that's harsh.

[SnackG]

If she picked him as a chubby/fat guy she should never word it like that.

[udolipixie]

@SnackG

Why not?

She's not saying she doesn't find him sexy but that he'd be sexier.

[angiemel]

exactly udolipixie.

[Samoht_D319]

"sex(ier). how would you feel if we told you to be sexier. pretty insecure, right? yeah, goes both ways

[udolipixie]

If I liked the guy (lol at that) I'd work on it but I wouldn't be insecure there's a difference between I don't find you sexy & you'd be sexier if.

If I didn't like the guy I wouldn't care.

[InMyHeart]

I agree with SnackG. you picked him that way, you shouldn't expect him to change. unless he actually wants to. then you can help him.

[udolipixie]

@InMyHeart

So can your bf/husband dump you when you gain weight or get wrinkles since he didn't expect you to change?

[angiemel]

agreed again Udolipixie, and InMyHeart, he does want me, a lot.

[Samoht_D319]

if she gained weight or got wrinkles, I wouldn't break up with her but, I wouldn't tell her to change how she looks. that's just adding insult to injury, she's jeopardizing her rship, by doing this

[Jinmetsu_Rasetsu]

Invite him to work out with you...

Invite him to go to the gym with you...

Suggest more sensible things to eat if you were to go out...

If you live with him, Buy more healkthy food and if you are the primary chef, cook more food with less fat...

He just need to move, and it would take you to motivate him to do so.

[SnackG]

Dump him and find someone you like for who they are. You picked him the way he is.

[SnackG]

Ask him to exercise with you.

[Shaun]

What did he look like when you met him?

[angiemel]

same as he does now.

[Shaun]

I think it's uncool to treat people as projects, but I suppose if you suddenly go on a fitness kick and ask him to go on it with you that might work.

[Shaun]

And as far as improving his diet, just take charge of feeding him.

[Anonymous]

tell him to be your work oout buddy