What could be the cause for my social anxiety, and how could I overcome?

[Dana223]

This happens to me, from time to time. Sometimes I feel quite confident about myself. On those days:

• I am 100% OK with the way I look
• I feel like a good member of the given community (say, in the office, coffee machine gang etc)
• I trust that people enjoy my company, they're happy to have me around
• I approach people with confidence
• Words come easy, I easily come up with topics to discuss, small talks etc.
• In general I am self confident

Other times, however, for apparent reason all the above is reverse:

• I don't somehow like the way I look. I can easily spot "errors" in the mirror when I look at myself (my hair does not look good enough, my skin is just not somehow right, my face is weird, I'm big etc)
• I feel like I don't actually add much to the community where I am physically present.
• I fear that people rather dislike me, have negative thoughts about me (even though I have no idea why they would do so.
• I am reluctant to meet people and prefer to avoid social situations if possible. I look awkward and who knows, maybe I have bad breath (even though I brush my teeth 2x a day). Did my period come early again, do I have a stain on me, do I maybe even smell (? even though it's not even summer and I took shower deodorant perfume, punched a whole new hole in the ozone layer (🤣)( etc))
• I'm afraid to start conversations, maybe people don't find my things not so interesting and I just needlessly bug them.
• I feel like a teenager with absolute lack of self confidence lol. I can always explain why I am at the wrong place. I have a stone in my stomach. People are judging me.

This seems to alter randomly. Like, depends on what day I woke up to. I might seem to look for self-validation all the time..

[burlen]

Anxiety is a complex and multifaceted emotion that is influenced by a range of factors, including biological, psychological, and environmental elements.

Personality: Certain personality traits, such as neuroticism and perfectionism, have been linked to anxiety. A study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology found that individuals with high levels of neuroticism were more likely to experience anxiety symptoms.

Neurobiological factors: Abnormalities in certain neurotransmitters and brain structures have been linked to anxiety disorders. For example, imbalances in neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine, and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) have been associated with anxiety.

Life experiences: Traumatic life events, such as abuse, neglect, or loss, can increase the risk of developing anxiety. A study published in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders found that individuals who had experienced childhood trauma were more likely to develop anxiety disorders in adulthood.

Substance use: Substance abuse, particularly alcohol and drugs, can increase the risk of developing anxiety. A study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry found that individuals who abused substances were more likely to experience anxiety symptoms.

Hereditary: There is evidence to suggest that anxiety can be inherited, as individuals with a family history of anxiety disorders are more likely to develop one themselves. For example, a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that the risk of developing an anxiety disorder was higher in those with a first-degree relative who also had the disorder.

Chronic stress: Chronic stress can lead to the development of anxiety. This is because chronic stress can alter the balance of neurotransmitters and hormones in the body, leading to changes in mood and behaviour. A study published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research found that individuals who reported high levels of stress were more likely to experience anxiety symptoms.

Cognitive factors: Cognitive factors, such as negative thoughts and beliefs, can increase the risk of developing anxiety. A study published in the Journal of Cognitive Therapy and Research found that individuals with negative thoughts and beliefs were more likely to experience anxiety symptoms.

[Anonymous]

There can be many different causes of social anxiety, and it's often a combination of factors. Here are some possible causes:

1. Genetics: Social anxiety can run in families, suggesting a genetic component.

2. Environment: Growing up in an environment where social situations were avoided or stigmatized can contribute to social anxiety.

3. Trauma: Experiencing a traumatic event, such as bullying or abuse, can lead to social anxiety.

4. Negative self-talk: Negative self-talk and self-criticism can contribute to social anxiety by reinforcing negative beliefs about oneself and one's ability to interact with others.

5. Perfectionism: Setting impossibly high standards for oneself can lead to anxiety and fear of failure in social situations.

To overcome social anxiety, it's important to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common approach that can help individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns, develop coping strategies, and gradually face their fears in a controlled and supportive environment. Other self-help strategies may include practicing relaxation techniques, building social skills through exposure and practice, and setting realistic goals for oneself.

Remember that overcoming social anxiety is a process, and it's important to be patient and compassionate with oneself throughout the journey. With the right support and strategies, it's possible to manage social anxiety and build fulfilling relationships with others.

[Dana223]

Great list! Thanks 😊

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome

[Heterosketero]

Dana, I could say so much about this as a person whos also suffered for decades with this plight. But lets start with the basics. On the bad days, did you get enough sleep did you eat breakfast? Its redundant, because you are asking about anxiety, but these two things are the two leading preventable causes if anxiety. I used to never eat breakfast, now, I swear by an avocado egg in the morning for protein - I just crack an egg into half an avacado and bake it for about 10 minutes. When anxiety becomes familiar, it gets hard to admit when we are tired or hungry because we just associate with anxiety. The eye of the beholder is never fixed and neither is our perspective of ourselves. The pandemic did not help, my anxiety went through the roof and got very lone wolf. To me, when I feel thatv tone in my gut, I ask myself if I DO need to be alone, but I am also an introvert, so I recognize when I need to recharge. I hope that helps, but dm me if you want to discuss anxiety, you seem nice and I am inckined to anxious folk like a Radiohead fan.

[Colewapole]

If I understand anxiety, it's about you being in your head, thinking about the past or future, rather than being in the present. We attempt protect ourselves by going over every possibility of a conversation before it even happens, for example; and aren't actually listening when it happens, because we are too busy "analyzing" the other person trying to gauge their read on US. We are paying more attention to the way you react to our responses rather than just being a part of the conversation. We can feel like every action we take is being watched / judged, and so even our movements become premeditated.

We feel inadequate about ourselves in someway, so we feel the need to curate the impression others have on us. We need to make sure that "your" opinion is US is in line with the image we are trying to convey, and make sure you don't feel negatively towards us, in the ways we feel insecure. We live inside our own heads, never truly being present, grieving about past interactions and planning future ones

I think 95% of anxiety stems from physical appearance. The neo-liberal idea of simply "being OK" with your appearance leading to happiness is a joke. There IS a scale of attraction, with finite boundaries. Lying to ourselves is not a good long term strategy.

Eat 3+ meals a day, cooked at home. Drink at least 48 oz of water a day. Work out AND walk or run 5 days out of the week. Have a conversation with someone every morning. Have sex. Stay sober during daylight hours, or during the weekdays. Be involved in a community activity / have an obligation (other than a job) 3 times a week.

This will cure 85% of anxiety. Sounds a lot easier than it is; otherwise we'd all be a lot happier. Don't forget, we are still just big-brained animals, so making sure all our basic needs are met is the important foundation needed in everyone's life. Do those

[Alex8736]

it's most likely hereditary and social anxiety usually occurs from the maternal side of the family like mother, grandmother etc but for someone like myself that deal's with it as well usually occurs on environment whether its people, places or things. i can go on but don't want to ramble 😁

[Guy13]

Go see a counselor and they can help you tease this out.

[Heterosketero]

Absolutely, anxiety affects MANY people and a professional will have some practical advice beyond what laypersons can provide, even with anectdotal citations.