How to get respected as a physically small man?

[Anonymous]

I am 163 cm tall (5'4") and 50 kg. I also look much younger than my age. People frequently comment about my appearance and about how I should "eat more". No matter how hard I try I can't gain weight.

The only people who treat me in a "normal" way are my colleagues or people who know me for a long time. Strangers on the other hand talk to me as if I'm a child or like I have a disability.

For example if I go to a bank or hospital, people sometimes ask me where my parents are. During road rage incidents I get threatened and laughed at for how small I am. It's all so upsetting. It's impossible not to get reminded that people think less of me because I am smaller. If I show any aggression people laugh even more.

[Viola_456]

First of all you need to be more confident... People ussualy dont want to disrespect you, they are just joking, and you need to learn how to deal with that. You can either ignor it or try to respond to that in a funny way. If you respond with something like "i know im a midget" people will assume you're confident about it and won't bother to make fun if you. If you get offended than the joke worked and you seem inconfident.

Secondly you need to increase your weight. You can't change your height but try to count your calories. If you eat enough you will gain weight for sure. And working out would also help you to look more "manly".

And lastly definetly dont show agression against anyone. Im sorry but if someone you size would show agression towards me i would also laugh
... Even though i would not want to disrespect you, it just looks silly if you're agressive against someone a lot bigger and im really not sure why you do that.

[Anonymous]

start eatingmore fruits and vegetables and increase HEALTHY CARBS and cut out processed foods and meat and diary , just healthy fruits and vegetables , and you'll gain weight , don't wait for people to respect your body , YOU HAVE TO RESPECT IT by changing your diet and gaining weight and muscles and then people will repect u , bc YOU CHANGED

[Asker]

Meat and dairy are extremely important for weight gain and bodybuilding. I don't eat processed foods besides oatmeal.

[AaronKrieger]

You are going to deal with people making remarks about your height no matter, so you cannot control that. However, you can control how you react whether it's being calm or being wity.

I suggest gaining weight, working out, and start training in some type of martial art. You'll gain confidence at handling confrontation and that'll reflect in how you carry yourself. As for anyone just makes jokes in a normal situation - just own your height. Laugh it off or make jokes back (good natured ones).

[JacobJordan]

You ignore it. They disrespect you because you show them it works. Just because you are short doesn't mean you also have to be short on the emotional range. People are always going to judge. They are going to judge you, me, the whore down the street end of the day we all have to decide if we care what some random nobody says or thinks about us

[lightbulb27]

talk slower, with confidence and power. find Christ and speak from the heart your truth.

maybe dress more mature man, etc..

5'6 never had a problem...

[Asker]

When I wear office clothes people think I'm a disabled or developmentally challenged adult. Because of my childlike face and receding jawline, no one would believe I am 25. If I ask people how old they think I am they usually say 13 to 15. So if I am dressed like an adult they think I am an adult who is developmentally challenged, stuck in childhood or something along those lines. I am addressed that way. In my language there are multiple degrees of respect. There is a different way of speaking to elders as when compared to speaking to children. I am always spoken to as if I were a child.

When I used to play music, people in the audience would make faces at me and mock me. Not even making this stuff up.

[Truthatanycost]

I see that you appear to have glossed over the most important and life changing point of all that was made by lightbulb27 ... finding Christ. People respond to the unseen before they respond to your physical attributes. You will only realize this once you learn who you are in Christ.

The guy above mentioned being 5'6 which is also considered to be short...

[lightbulb27]

@Truthatanycost exactly and you said it better. It is the inside people respond to! The subconscious mind, heart.
I'd wonder if it's just a physical height issue or a reflection of the abuses you took as a child. If you were "beaten up" emotionally, then you'll project that.
I learned this meeting a 60 something on the streets. yo'd think hed look ragged out. He looked like a 20yr old child. Why? Because emotionally, he's stuck in 1969.
Emotional projection... is relevant. Trauma... projects.
It wasn't the height

[Asker]

I look young because of genes, not because of the pseudoscientific reasons you are talking about. My brother and father also look way younger than their age.

[lightbulb27]

ok, that is factor as well. you work with what you've got. everyone has their challenges. hope you find solutions that work for you.

[Anonymous]

Get a fat bank account. Women may still not like you but men will be forced to respect you and then they (women) will respect your assets.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/o7NyNnwrm70

[Anonymous]

I am 5’6” and I never even notice how much shorter I am than others I work with. Then I will walk behind someone in the office and realize the person is huge.
All about confidence, I am not intimidated by anyone so it is something I just never notice.

[HelpfulWoman]

by realising that people don't actually give a shit about your size. just be polite and stop obsessing over it.

[NewgodOmega]

You can be walking king Kong size and still no one will give a flying horse shit about you

Coz you are a man
Truth

[LiamJHayden]

Be happy, interesting, and ignore the haters. Actually that is my advice for everyone.

[Asker]

I am also a musician like you. I'm not a boring loser or something. I work as an engineer so I have a good salary. But with my appearance it is impossible for anyone to take me seriously unless they are working very closely with me for a long time. My colleagues at work do take me seriously. But other people legit think I'm disabled because of how I look.

[Squatting_Slav]

respect comes woth confidence purpose drive and good moral compass as well as kindness

[Asker]

This is hollow, meaningless advice. I am a software engineer, I play classical music. This fall I will begin my master's degree in computational linguistics. I am not someone lacking in purpose. No matter what I do or how I think, it won't change the fact that people will assume that I'm a child or that I'm a weakling because of how I look.

[Squatting_Slav]

And also small man syndrome get rid of that. Don't speak to others like that

[Asker]

If a short man stands up for himself, he has Napoleon complex. If he doesn't do anything and acts like other people, he is seen as a weakling. I've been on both sides of the fence. There is really nothing I can do to be respected. It doesn't matter how much money I make or how skilled I am. 90 percent of people will assume I'm disabled or stupid just because of how I look. We both know that's the truth.

[Squatting_Slav]

No bro, fuck what people say like just shrug it off man

[Nikki1989]

Hmmmm, it seems you don't know what small really is.

[laly520]

looks doesn't get u respect
ur actions does

[Asker]

That's wishful thinking. In reality your looks determine how people perceive and treat you. Human beings assume traits and qualities about each other based on physical appearance. This is a part of a phenomenon known as the halo effect.

[laly520]

no bud its reality
I know many good looking people n they get no respect
ur actions determine that so dont be that superficial

[Asker]

Good looking people being disrespected doesn't invalidate my experiences. What does one thing have to do with the other? What I was saying is people assume I'm a child or that I'm disabled because of my appearance. This definitely does happen. For example people refuse to believe me if I tell that I'm an engineer. During road rage incidents almost all the insults I receive are related to me being small and how the other guy is bigger than me. These things definitely happen. But my colleagues treat me normally because they know I'm a normal person. The issue is with strangers in public.

[laly520]

sorry but this is soo silly

[Asker]

If you're not at the receiving end of it, it will obviously feel that way.

[Anonymous]

There is someone for everyone.