Am I sexist for thinking I should be paid more for performing better?

[Anonymous]

I've been working at a restaurant for two years (started at 18) and I'm making the same wage since I started, which is not much. Since the restaurant is not very big, the waitstaff are counted on to do a lot of dirty work to keep the front of the house in order. We bus and clean our own tables as well.

A month ago we hired a very attractive girl and within a week she was given what I call "leadership hours" (those hours are given to the team leader). I didn't think anything of it. I just kept working hard and taking pride in giving excellent service.

Suddenly a mainstay leader resigned and a spot opened up for me. My work was finally rewarded. I'm a very good tactician and having worked there for years, I know how to rally the troops and get things done.

This "pretty girl" however, is not good at that. She has this attitude like she's entitled to being a leader just because she was given that role so quickly. She's a horrible leader! She's slow, she doesn't speak up, and she's looking for easy tasks to do leaving the hard work for men like me.

The chef was telling me about how she clocks in and loafs around for an hour, and whenever someone asks her a favor she rolls her eyes and begrudgingly helps barely.

As a team leader, if I ever got caught slacking off and being a little Prima Donna like her, I'd get reported and lose the position. I'm expected to perform like a champion just because of my physical advantages, which is okay. The problem is, WE MAKE THE SAME PAY.

IT ANGERS ME that when our paychecks come, they are identical yet over the course of two weeks, I more than triple the workload she ever bothered to attempt.

I'm literally so good that she could give me half her wage and stay home, and the resturaunt would still be fine. I can handle the work. I just can't handle the fact she's making the same as me.

[NickInVideo]

If you are a team leader, you're an assistant manager of sorts, no?

Since it's a business, ultimately, it's money that drives choices, right?

Monetize the value you bring to the business, and compare it to the value she brings.

If she spends an hour slacking off, that's not just her wage that is wasted, what's the added wait for getting another group seated and order taken? That delay could be 50-200$ of missed income in that hour, happening every day she works.

Money is the objective measure here. Employee complaints are worth something, but comparing performance to the bottom line is the best way to get a business to change. If you can get the cost of her as an ineffective employee, then you can get her fired or whatever, and get yourself that raise, because you've got your head in the business game.

[Picopa]

Good advice ;)

[Mellontikos]

Are you sexist for thinking how you do? No. Is it unfair? Yes. Is it life? Yes.

I would think particularly at a restaurant, the prettier girls would get better positions, particularly when in the front line for customers (aka guys who will probably buy more stuff if a pretty girl brings it to them)

I work in IT, and it's practically dry women wise. There are some, but even those just don't have the interest to devote the necessary time to learn what's needed to know to succeed (complex electronic and computing equipment).

There's been outcries before about how the IT field is sexist, not letting women in. The reverse is the reality, If hot women were to become experts in the technology they would be swooped in, but, other than the odd exceptions, there just aren't any.

[RedSmartie]

I don't think it's sexism. If she was obviously hired and promoted because of her attractiveness, it has little to do with her sex and much to do with the fact that she's pretty. If she was an ugly girl she probably wouldn't have gotten the job let alone the promotion, so it's bias rather than sexism.

Regardless of why she was hired, you should talk to your boss about her performance. If you feel like she's overpaid or you are underpaid for what you do, then you should express your concerns. And if you want it to be potent, get a few coworkers to express the same concerns. A superior might ignore one person but they won't ignore several.

[ludorock]

That sounds perfectly fine to me. I mean... She clearly isn't do her job. But at this point I don't think it's a matter of pay it's a matter of she shouldn't be in that position. F***who gets paid more, she shouldn't be getting paid at all. That goes for anyone who doesn't do the job they're hired to to to the best of their ability. Or at the very least competently.

If I were you I'd bring it up to management. Make some observations, make some notes, maybe find some proof to bring with you and show management what she's doing. It's not right for you and all the other workers to suffer because of a poor hiring decision.

[Asker]

Yes, I'm going to meet with my manager tomorrow. The problem is, my manager treats her like a precious daughter and was instrumental in hiring/giving her a leadership position. Her getting fired? Probably not going to happen, even with the chef's testimony.

I don't expect every waiter to be as prideful as me in doing their job right. Higher pay would honestly make me feel better about this whole thing. It would validate me busting my butt every day and establishing a winning culture.

[armyguy176]

You aren't sexist. that's just life. Women complain about not being equal when they shouldn't because in many cases they have a dramatic advantage.

I was a dishwasher for years. I slaved in a 100 degree kitchen in 90% humidity. I was sweaty and covered in filth everyday for 12 hours and got paid 7.25 and hour. about once a day, one of the gorgeous hostesses would come back to roll some silverwear and complain to me about how they have to do all the work and how they ONLY get 7.25 an hour. That's life, a pretty girl will get what you deserve 100% of the time, then if you're "lucky" enough to marry a pretty girl, she'll spend all of the money that you work so hard for, then she'll leave you and take whatever you have left.

why? because life is SO hard on women.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

The person who is probably sexist is your boss because I doubt she'd have been promoted let alone hired if she weren't good looking.that's why she can get away with not working. You're angry with her, but you should be angry with whoever gave her the position

[bobbi789]

That's not sexist. It sounds like if the girl were hypothetically replaced with a guy, you would react the same way. I'm surprised that some guys responded saying it's sexism because that doesn't seem to be the issue here. Hopefully your employer will realize she's not that great and it will help your position at the restaurant!

[Anonymous]

It makes you sexist for assuming you should make more because you're a woman.

Why are you complaining about this "pretty girl", when you should be complaining about HER, the person, who is a lazy and terrible employee? Why does her gender matter in this at all? If she is a terrible employee, it's because of who she is and nothing to do with whether she has a vagina or not.

[Opinion Owner]

*because she is a woman.

[temptationfalls]

Take it up with the owner and the boss, get written statements from other employees how lazy she is and bring it up to the boss. This isn't a wage issue. It's a sh*t stain employee issue that needs to be taken up to the boss.

[Picopa]

The reason you make the same and haven't been properly rewarded is because they know you'll do the work. I was in the same situation. I never got promoted though. I wish you luck.

[why-makoto-kun]

If you feel you are doing a better job and she is being lazy, it's not sexism. If she was putting in the same effort as you and you expected to be paid more, THAT would be sexist.

[Deft_maiden]

You may be right. But life is not about fairness. It really isn't. You take you can

[emzy-89]

It's not sexist if you're doing a better job and you think you deserve more, if would be sexist if you think you deserve more because you are a man.

[Anonymous]

Feminists would consider you and the whole idea of you being paid more to be sexist!

[Anonymous]

Not at all. But I have had a problem like this before.. So frustrating!