My mother is narcisstic and I had planned on getting her some nice things for Christmas, then changed my mind and was going to get her and her husband gift cards.
They ended up starting an argument with me a few days ago, nothing I'm not used to. She was brainwashed yet again and went along with him taking his side as always.
Today, she was up in the morning (she usually sleeps in), went down to say hi to him from the basement door- I guess expecting he'd tell her to come down to get some money. He didn't. An hour or two later I came into her room to give her a gift I got her (I didn't finish the gift because of the argument). Low and behold, she was laying there crying. Chose a man over me like always and still didn't get shit from him. She continues to get treated like shit by him and still praises him and treats me like shit.
The old me would have felt bad, but that is her karma. I would have felt bad that she was all excited for Christmas and gifts seeing that other people (on the internet-her and his shady family) got stuff and she didn't, but fuck her.
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You have it backwards. The guy is Narcissistic and your Mom is the victim controlled, dependent, and trapped. The "no money" today is a means of control and dependency. To a large extent, she is a child seeking approval. She is trapped in ways that you can not grasp. APA would be a good source to start LEGITIMATE research... not damn youtube... PhD/MD is best as there are brain and behavior involved here.
The guy does not care if she or you laugh or cry as he is seeking an emotional knowing which he can not feel unless he is involved in some way... he has to catch a buzz/refill the tank. This guy goes to funeral but does not know to cry until he sees others doing and will model their behavior.
That’s what she gets. No parent should choose a lover over their child.