Most people who are down on themselves tend to seek validation, sympathy and compliments. That’s okay because some people need that in order to feel better. However, this isn’t the case for everyone. When self deprecating, being told you are using self pity to receive validation is not only frustrating, but in a way insulting. Before I begin, I want to say that I am simply sharing my rare perspective, I DO NOT want pity, sympathy or compliments. Not only do I hate it, it makes me cringe and it basically defeats the purpose of what I’m sharing.
I am fat, ugly, disgusting, unattractive, repulsive, awkward, boring, shy, gross, etc. Now this is not low self esteem or perception, it is reality and that is okay. As weird as this sounds, I hate compliments and I find them more insulting than insults themself. I appreciate insults, body shaming, etc because not only are people being brutally honest with me which many are afraid to do, but validates what I feel about myself. There are times when I thank people for doing so. I will sometimes post pictures of myself or my body to further prove my point, and the answers are usually negative. That’s not a bad thing, it shows that my view is reality, not perception. Which also explains why compliments infuriate me, because they are lies that people use to try to make me “feel better” but does the exact opposite. It makes me lose respect for them because it’s not difficult to be honest, especially when you won’t hurt my feelings and I can handle it. No amount of compliments and validation will change how I feel. I consider myself strong and very self aware for this reason.
When I sometimes state these things about myself whether it be out loud or on private social media, everyone automatically thinks it’s time to say “You’re beautiful.”, “That’s not true.”, etc. This instantly infuriates me because people think that is what I’m asking for, which is not true. And more importantly, why does everyone think that’s an invitation to do so? I can’t express how I feel without people thinking I want sympathy and I am not that kind of person. Either agree with me, or don’t say anything at all.
Self deprecating, isn’t always a sign or has correlation to attention seeking. There are people who simply want to express what they see in themselves and don’t want a pity party thrown on them. It is possible to simply state things that you truly are without wanting compliments. To people who do use self deprecating for compliments, just know that you are beautiful. The way you see yourself is the opposite of what others see and I hope you’ll discover that one day. Thank you for reading! 😊