Why should you care that gays now have marriage equality, if you're not gay?

Why should you care that gays now have marriage equality, if you're not gay?

When the verdict came down in favor of marriage equality, the country errupted in debate, in celebration, in condemnation, in joy, in shock, you name it. Somewhere along my travels I was discussing this when someone asked me point blank, "why do you care about gays getting the right to marriage at all, if you're not gay?" Without skipping a beat I replied, "some 60 or so odd years ago, the same sort of question could be posed to a white man or woman about civil rights." Blacks during that time, and gays during this time don't need to convince other blacks or other gays that they deserve equal rights. They need to convince you to change your mind, your heart, and ultimately your vote. During the 60's a lot of people forget that gay rights activists joined hand in hand with civil rights activists because they thought of the civil rights issue not as a "black problem," but a human problem, one they could very much relate to in their own struggles for equality. This is absolutely the way I view the right for gay rights now and I will continue to stand up for love, because without love, what else is there?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The main problem I have is that if anyone speaks against gay marriage, no matter what reasons they give, they are called a hater, bigot, whatever-- you name it. I believe each side should be able to state their opinion without having to fight an ad homonym hate argument.

    Think back to chick-fil-a when they said "We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that... we know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles." He didn't say anything hateful towards the gay community, but rather he just said what he supported when asked. And everyone flipped out and starting boycotting Chick-fil-a. I want to be able to speak out and discuss my opinion without fear of being subjected to getting called all these names and "against love." I'm not against love, but I support traditional marriage.

    Look, I have no problem with gay people one bit. My aunt is a lesbian couple and they are the coolest people in the family. I hang out with them and stuff. But I personally do not support gay marriage. I think that marriage should be between a man and a woman. People say it doesn't affect me, but it does. It also affects my children, children's children, and everyone in the country. That is why I care. (I can be more detailed if people are still saying it doesn't affect me).

    And as for OP with the Civil Rights and gay marriage comparison, let me offer my take on that. Black people did not have equal rights. They couldn't marry who they wanted while white people could. Gay people already had equal rights. They could marry, man and woman, just like non-homosexual people can. They just choose not to because they are not attracted to them. The difference is that black people were restricted of rights while gay people wanted to expand the rights more. If anyone needs further elaboration please ask and I'll explain.

    I understand the culture today is a John Locke world of "Don't tell me what I can and can't do!" But, still, while the Supreme Court rules gay marriage as acceptable, I must still disagree. If anyone wants to comment and disagree (as I'm sure people do), please, do so. I only ask that you don't start saying stuff like "what and idiot!" or "you're so stupid" etc. etc.

    *braces self for the downvotes*

    • I agree 100%, very respectful as well, we should be able to say we disagree with something without being slandered.

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    • Well spoken and truthful. You'd never make it as a politician lol!!

    • This^ I completely agree. Finally! Someone realizes the difference between gay marriage rights and black slavery. Perfectly said 👏👏👏

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's like saying that I don't care about the state of the environment because I won't have to deal with the extreme effects... my grandchildren will! I most certainly care about gay rights because they are people too-just as much as I am a person. So why should I be treated with more respect than someone who just wants to be able to be seen as a first class citizen?


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What Guys Said 76

  • Because the lomger we keep pretending that homosexuality is a normal, healthy expression of human behavior, the longer people are going to keep suffering. I'm not talking about some bs religious "cure," I'm talking about a legitimate scientifically sound treatment.

    Homosexuality is more closely associated with throat cancer than tobacco use. There are colo-rectal disorders that are almost unknown among straight men, common among gays. The LGBT suicide rate, according to GLAAD is. 5-7 times higher than comparable straight populations. Half of all new aids cases identify as gay. One source claimed that curable STDs are contracted by gays 47 times more than straight people. I take that last one with a grain of salt, mainly because the source was biased, but let's say they were off by a factor of ten. Even if it's only 4x as frequently, I'd argue that it's a significant number. According to another study, self destructive behaviors such as cutting and burning were more prevalent among homosexuals, but the exact number wasn't given.

    My point is that you don't help a heroin addict by giving them needles, or an alcoholic by giving them another beer, or by turning your head while they destroy themselves. You don't cure cancer by holding a gun to an oncologist's head.

    Gays shouldn't be hated, they shouldn't be denigrated or beaten or driven underground. We tried that, and what we got was an aids epidemic transported to the states by a gay man, who then passed it along at his local flamingo bar, where it spread unchecked for years before anyone even realized what was happening because nobody felt safe admitting that they'd been infected by a homosexual partner.

    Rather than celebrate homosexuality, we should find an effective, humane treatment to cure, prevent, or ameliorate the effects of what appears, on its face, to be a disorder that is anything but benign.

  • I am not opposed to homosexuals having the right to enter enforceable contracts but I resent the use of the word marriage. It is part of the liberal agenda to normalize things which are not normal, to tell people that they can do whatever they want without suffering consequences, and that liberals will ride in on their white horses to save them if evil conservatives don't pretend to love everything that they do. It is a subtle advance, a subliminal message, promoted by the liberal thought police.

    I don't care what people do with their genitals or what places they poke them in, as long as they are behind closed doors and don't tell me about it. But don't try to make me think that homosexuals are just like everybody else. A group can be afforded equal rights without being treated as if they are identical with everyone else.

    I expect that some liberals will respond to complain about my "horrible" beliefs. These will be the same liberals who proudly proclaim that they are loving, tolerant of others' beliefs, and they promote diversity. . . unless you disagree with the liberal agenda, in which case they will engage in character assassination and sham techniques.

    • You say here, "A group can be afforded equal rights without being treated as if they are identical with everyone else." I'm confused here... what are "equal rights" again?

    • take owner here's an example of what he's saying. an orange has the right to be called a fruit because it is but dont try to make us think its an apple just because its in the same basket.

    • @thatkaruguy Thanks, that's exactly what I'm saying. Men and women can have equal right under the law but everyone understands that men are different than women.

  • Encouraging stable family formation is in everyone's interest. The sexual orientation of the couple should not matter. Now, it doesn't. Stable families have higher rates of civic participation. Stable families promote the healthy growth of children. It is good for young people who learn that they are gay to know that this fact does not shut them off from family life.

  • Here are just a few of the multitudinous reasons:










    And those are just recent examples. I have a library going hundreds of pages on Tumblr.

    It is only the beginning of a far more sinister agenda, it affects everyone personally, it's in-your-face, it's never satisfied, it's spiteful, it's delusional, it's vindictive concerning its delusions, it's obsessed with power and control at any cost, it has shed innocent blood, and it is true to Michael Swift's manifesto 150%: Too much is never enough.

    • Bravo sir, you have my respect and my hat is off to you sir!!

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    • So much fear mongering.


    • Pile of garbage.

      Acts of vandalism happen everywhere. It's kinda amazing really. Homosexuals mock Jesus = "WHAT A BUNCH OF MONSTERS HOW DARE THEY MAKE FUN OF MY RELIGION?".
      Muslims go on a rampage and kill people who are mocking their god. "OH MY GOD SUCH MONSTERS WE GOTTA DEFEND OUR RIGHTS TO MAKE FUN OF OTHER'S RELIGIONS".

      Not defending the terrorists by any means, but this show how far the hypocrisy of Christians go. Even the Pope had to bring this up to control the Christian masses.

      The rest of the links are just garbage. I couldn't even read all of them. "Gay marriage HURTS ME personally". WHO THE HECK CARES? You're offended? In the words of the genius Steve Hughes, BE OFFENDED. NOTHING HAPPENS. You aren't going to be offended and wake up the next day "Hey honey, I got offended by gay marriage. Now I have cancer".

      Grow up

  • Martin Niemöller, a protestant minister, penned this during the rise of Hitler’s Third Reich. Although we are not suffering under such extreme fascism, I think the lesson still applies.

    "First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
    Because I was not a Socialist.

    Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
    Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

    Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
    Because I was not a Jew.

    Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

    Anything that affects a segment of humanity ultimately affects us all."

    • someone already posted that. how dare you not read the 60 comments before your own before making a statement. (I kid).

    • Ooooops! Great minds think alike.

  • Umm women and colored people are natural. Homosexuality is not.

  • I wish white people would stop patting themselves on the back for making the comparison of blacks rights and gay rights.

    We'd rather not have our race compared to someone's sexual orientation as if they're synonymous. Black Americans have been through far worse than not being able to marry. Also, we had no way to hide from persecution manifested in violent racism. We had no way to hide our children from being hung, we had to no way of getting our sick adequate medical attention, we had no way of getting fair legal process, we had no way of rising from generational poverty in an economic system that was racist. The horrors of being black in America cannot be compared to what homosexuals go through, nor can the reverse be made true.

    I am in no way saying one is greater than the other. Rather, comparing the two suggests a willful obliviousness to history. Why can't homosexual rights stand on their own? Why must homosexual rights piggyback off of black rights? Why are liberal heterosexual whites so determined to prove they aren't hateful that they have to group together two independent groups that they've historically hated and not even ask how those groups feel about it?

    I can't speak for all Black Americans, I and many other Black Americans support marriage equality, others don't. However, I believe the majority of us don't want this comparison. We don't want our journey and our suffering compared to any other's. To do so engages with the horrific discrimination of a people in a way which is too fluid and dare I say carefree for such a serious subject matter. If you have never experienced racism or homophobia then discuss them with the caution and respect that they deserve. It is a touchy subject and should be treated as such.

    • My point above was not to equate the entirety of slavery on down to the gay rights movement of this century, but to point out that a minority group of any sort is always going to have to seek the support and vote of the majority group if they want to see what they view as discriminatory laws, changed. You cannot re-write the history of my take to ignore the fact that gay rights activists did see the civil rights movement as a human rights struggle that they could relate to, and thus they joined in the fight. That's not to say they thought it was the same exact thing, but, well, the struggle is real for a lot of people, and I don't personally think that if you are fighting for a cause, and you need the help, the voices, funding, power, you can just ignore people who want to help you in your cause if they are genuine.

    • Thank you!!! Preach! So tired of the comparison.

    • There's no serious piggy backing or conjoining of the issues, except by the SJWs. The comparison can still be made at a more mild level, if it only concerns marriage. Oppression olympics need not apply in this situation.

  • Because marriage is between a man and a woman. That's why God made dicks and vaginas.

    • God made Adam and eve not Adam and Steve

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    • @purplebeauty She doesn't decide anything. She has always been a lesbian. I know a lesbian girl and she said she always thought she was straight only because her parents were Christian, but she couldn't orgasm with a guy, only with a girl.

      And science already has a "Gay Gene". We found it. You can deny that as many times as you like, but we know for a fact that being gay isn't a choice. It's something you're born with.

    • They do decide it, they go on for years being attracted to one sex and then they choose to be gay.
      Science has been wrong before bud. It used to be a "scientific fact" that the sun revolved around the earth. It used to be a scientific fact that the earth was flat. Science is flawed, God isn't

  • I might get hated on but i will state my opinion. I'am not a fan of gays or gay marriage. Now if they don't bother me, i won't bother them, etc... They can do what they want and that's ok. But my opinion is my opinion.

    I say this to everyone and again this is just my opinion. I think marriage is to have a kid. In order to have a kid you have to quite literally stick the dick in the vagina to have sex. You can cannot stick a dick in a dick or a vagina in a vagina. There is a reason why a man has a dick and a women has a vagina. No i'am not trying to be funny, i'am simply stating the truth about our bodies. If you get married and not have a kid, what is the point?

    Again just opinion. Gays can do what they want and do on, i just don't want them to bother me and i won't bother them.

    I know i'll probably get a shit storm but it's my opinion.

    • Thank you for your honest answer. One does not have to bash or offer up words of hate about the other side, in order to get one's point across. If you or anyone else doesn't believe in gay marriage, then that is your prerogative. I would hope to change a mind or two, but in America, I feel I am a much luckier individual to say that I have the freedom to even attempt to do so and share my thoughts openly. and to participate in forums like this.

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    • haha.. people get married for various reasons, not just to have kids.

    • @tenofthepeaks true that. In my mind though, i would like to get married to have kids and start a family. That is for me though.

  • This is funny, almost everybody who agrees with this ruling hasn't even read it.

    I'm one of the few exceptions, I've been saying for a long time that not allowing homosexuals to marry was a violation of the 14th Amendment's equal protection clause, and looky here, that's exactly what the Supreme Court said. The ruling had nothing to do with some moral obligation or some such nonsense like that, it was a purely legal ruling devoid of emotion.

    Though supporters of this ruling may not be so supportive of future rulings using the same precedent.

  • The problem is not civil rights, it is an attack on the bible and God's teaching who first created the sacrament of marriage. Do you think man thought of this on his own. The maid of honor serves a role, the best man serves a role. As little as 50 years ago, gay did not exist and 80 years ago cars were rare. Federal highways did not exist 50 years ago, with this said, Marriage has existed over 3000 years and has always been between a man and woman. The easiest way to destroy a belief in God is to defile his sacrament of marriage first by destroying the vows, second take the 2nd worst sin, Adultry and make it a slap on the hand or now a hand shake, and take the words "in God we Trust", place this on the money with the eye of lucifer next to it showing which God the USA trust.

    God said marriage is between a man and woman and now two same sex people are going to push and make it ok to destroy the church.

    • 50 years ago? You might want to pick up a history book as the first documented knowledge of homosexuality is noted in Ancient Greece. I've never understood why biblical people feel as though someone who is gay is an attack on the church. You are going to believe what you believe no matter what, right. A gay person isn't going to make a church or a person who isn't gay, gay. The only people who "turn gay" are people who are already gay, so if you are heterosexual, you will remain so just as they are homosexual, and will remain so. You can wax on about how gays are the only problem with Christianity, but you have pedophiles, adulterers, fathers not in the home, babies out of wedlock, incest, rape, murder... walk on down the sin list. Christianity isn't perfect and neither are its people (the same for any other religion or people out there), so just because you're a Christian doesn't make you good or perfect.

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    • An attack on the Bible? So what, the Bible isn't part of the Constitution. (see the 1st Amendment, see art 11 of the Treaty of Trimpoli: avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/bar1796t.asp )

      The Bible reflects the primitive age mentality. Back then, child mortality was high, the tribes were fighting all the time, needed new births to replace those who died and they couldn't like couples which were guaranteed , not to multiply.

  • That isn't a fair comparison. The laws have changed a lot, and both genders are more independent now. So not being able to be married 60 years ago, meant a lot more than not being able to get married today. Marriage at this point is just a piece of paper, and is not crucial for the relationship or for the survival of the couple. I don't care simply because marriage today doesn't have any real importance in the eyes of the law. This whole issue is over blown and exaggerated. There are so many more important issues that this country should be focused on.

  • my friend read this on the internet.

    "If you watch lesbian porn at least twice in one day then you're not allowed to complain about gay marriage"


  • You should care because one of the founding principles of this country is equal rights for everyone and as a citizen it is your duty to up hold the principles this country was founded on.

    • No it wasn't. Our country was founded on the backs of slaves, and free workers that couldn't vote because they had to be land owners to vote.

  • I agree with everything you said!

    I support marriage equality, even though I'm not gay, because I'm not a selfish prick who only thinks about themselves.

    I hate this notion (especially in my generation) which is "Since it doesn't bother me, I don't care." That is such a selfish way to think.

    • Thank you, appreciate that. It's funny though because you're last statement could go two ways. One, the meaning I think you were inferring which is that, some people don't feel as though they should care about something that isn't a part of their life and should therefore not care about marriage equality, but on the other hand you have people that go, yeah, give gays marriage equality bc it doesn't bother me, and I don't care because they know they aren't gay, but what does 2 gay people getting married have to do with them and how they live their lives. I think though in most matters dealing with any type of equality... you have to be able to see people as just being people and not some aliens. They want for the same things and should have them in my opinion.

    • @Take Owner I see how that can be taken two ways.

      It's pathetic I now have three down-votes but I wouldn't doubt if they were from men in my generation. For whatever reason, selfishness is valued by people in my age group.

    • Even living in one of the states that is most against marriage equality, I have an extremely diverse group of friends who either support it, or don't care in the way that what two people do with their lives is their business. Reading some of the ridiculous responses to this mainly from a specific type of bible thumper who hates everything that isn't them exactly, has just proven to me that we needed this decision to come from a legal standpoint more than ever, and that its not really worth it to get upset over people like that who will never understand it or try to. I don't keep people like that around because in life there are so many differences between us, but we're all just people at the end of the day. There is so much thank goodness we don't have to agree with, but we live in a country where we are free to express that. If that is the only saving grace from debates with detractors, then so be it.

  • What a shitty comparison! As if gays were getting milkshakes poured on them in restaurants. As if gays were getting beaten and killed just because they were different in a trivial way. The civil rights movement was INCREDIBLY more significant for blacks than this gay rights shit is for gays.

    Marriage isn't even a right in the first place!

    • Do you hear yourself? Gays have been beaten and killed... for being gay. They've had stuff thrown at them, they've been rejected from housing, places of worship, stores, etc. We in this country have an incredible homeless problem because parents are throwing gay teens out on the street for simply being gay.

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    • I researched it and found under the Americans freedoms , one of them includes the right to enjoy and pursue other freedoms. Some of the freedoms listed were like traveling, raising a family, and being married. So yes, marriage is a right. Everyone does not have equal rights, because people such as yourself discriminate other people (in your case, gay people) which takes away their freedoms. There is freedom of speech, but there is a limitation that you can not take away someone else's rights and freedoms. By saying gays should not get married, you are taking their rights and freedoms away. Therefore, everyone does not have equal rights. Everyone is SUPPOSED TO, but this by far is not the case.

    • I don't discriminate gays, I just don't care. It's not a constitutional right. There is no freedom to be married. I'm talking about the Constitution here, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

  • Because we all have rights in the same way for the same reason. The denial of one person's rights entails the denial of everyone's rights.

  • Oh, well because...

    1. Once we legalize gay marriage, then they will legalize marrage for beastiality and pedophilia, because slippery slope.

    2. Marriage as defined in the bibble babble is between man an' woman.

    3. Its Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.

    4. Gay couples can't reproduce, which for some reason, still matters in an overpopulated 21st century world.

    5. A kid can't grow up without both a mother and a father.
    Their bodies weren't "designed" for that nonsense. S'all nonsense, ya hear?

    6. It's icky!


  • I care because the prohibition on same-sex marriage was causing a lot of people unnecessarily pain. I'm happy it's over and same-sex couples can be legally married.

  • 1. My church and others will now be forced to officiate gay weddings - which we do not support or recognize as an actual marriage
    2. Public schools will begin teaching our children that same sex relationships are normal and ok, I personally don't agree with that and I won't raise my kids to think that.
    3. My tax money will inevitably go to paying for homosexuals despite opposing their lifestyle and choiced, hell it probably already does honestly.

    • 1) no your churches will not be forced to officiate gay weddings. This decision applies very specifically to the government and whether the government can pass laws that discriminate. It has nothing to do with religion.

      2) there's been nothing preventing schools from doing so already, as being gay precedes the concept of gay marriage, yet there has been no widespread change in official curriculum to add classes about homosexuality. The change in public opinion has come socially, not from schools.

      3) my tax money goes to support people like you even though I don't like your views. That's called democracy, bud.

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    • Does that make it untrue though?

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What Girls Said 22

  • I don't care and no I don't think I "should."

    I don't condone gays marrying. Quite honestly I agree with nov_284. That it is a disorder. It is a disorder since we know that all species naturally seek to increase their numbers. As this is the not the case with mating between two members of the same sex, it does not follow as being normal. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. There are many manmade free radicals in all household products that contain synthetic hormones. These are absorbed into our bodies on a regular basis and act as imposters to real hormones, thereby causing disruption. I'm not saying that this variable is the sole cause of a human having a homosexual propensity. It may be a cause among many many other variables.
    Marriage was instituted originally so that there could be a family structure for raising children. A man and a woman come together and reproduce. That's not to say that two members of the same sex who "love" each other can't be effective parents. But a man and woman coming together to start a family is how marriage is defined (at least when one uses the word in a social science context)
    Anyway, this is the truth. There is a sanctity to it. Two people of the same sex marrying is a violation of that? Of course. But when the government made it so that married couples received federal benefits such as tax breaks, people find it unfair. "If I love so and so, I should be able to marry him/her too because isn't that fair?"
    Well if I proclaim that I'm romantically in love with my dog, shouldn't I be able to marry him and receive tax benefits also?

    • I didn't bother to read all your post, but gays have been around since before those free "radicals" (I doubt you even know what a radical is) you mentioned were as highly concentrated in our environment as today. So this obviously can't be the reason.
      Homosexuality is observed among animals as well. Buffaloes are known for this phenomenon... How do you explain that?
      Gay marriage is between two *consenting* adults. Consenting. Do you get it? Animals can't consent to anything...

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    • Comparing humans to dogs, EPIC FAIL.

    • @MrDetermined,

      poeple have tried to sue their dogs. Don't think they won't try to marry them.

  • I agree. I wouldn't want to be restricted and I don't think anyone else should be if it's not harming anyone/thing.

  • Because if I'm privilaged enough to be able to marry someone even tho I'm agnostic then anyone who wants to marry should.

  • I care because I have male friends that are gay, and I will support their right to be treated equal. No one has the right to prevent them from getting married. I would also support black people, as the colour of your skin won't be judged by me.
    Unfortunately in Australia we are still trying to tell our loser of a Prime Minister that it's time to legalise gay marriage.

    • That's very much part of it. Even if you aren't a part of the other side yourself, you can put yourself in their shoes much the way some whites did in the struggle for civil rights. Change, whether that be civil rights or gay rights, takes time. Sometimes it just takes seeing someone else go through it first, before changes can happen for your own country.

    • exactly my thoughts!

    • We should all have equal rights around the whole world. I don't need to be black or gay to know that these people have feelings too. We need to love one another more and ditch the hate. Unfortunately that will never happen because there are malicious people out there, but more people should strive to see past the sexual orientation or colour of a person and love them for who they are.

  • I feel the same way. I don't have to be gay to feel that everyone deserves the same rights that I do. We had to have other people care enough for this to happen. This is the US this should have happened long ago. I've been embarrassed that my country has been battling this, where the damn freedom? The 14th amendment was being ignored far too long. Its a shame this basically had to be forced because everyone would not agree but I'm glad its legal now. I have relatives that have been with their partners longer then I have been alive, they deserve those rights, and won't have to move away to get married and have their union recognized.

    • Absolutely, thanks for sharing

  • I agree wholeheartedly. According to the UN, denying someone rights is a form of torture.

    • Interesting statement given that the UN is one of the biggest civil rights violators in the world.

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    • Sheesh I go to work for the day and when I come back suddenly I blocked somebody and lost a debate that I didn't even take part in... Do I even want to engage here?

      Meh... Rwandan genocide ring a bell? Not to mention the UN's stated goal of eliminating sovereign states governments and replacing them with a single, central world government... Not a democratic or republican one.

  • You shoud care, because you're a human being with a soul. If you were gay, you would like people to care as well.

  • Great take, short and to the point :)

    Even chimps and dogs and sympathy, if a person muster sympathy and empathy for their fellow human being, we're screwed.

  • That's like saying "Why should you care about the war in Iraq if you don't even live there"

    • You've managed to compare love between people, to killing and war. This doesn't make sense.

    • You're missing the point @26ukdude... she's talking about the logic behind OP's question, not that war and sexuality are the same...

  • People are entitled to disagree with you.

  • Again I don't understand why people care enough to hate. No one is forcing you to be gay, get over it.

  • Because everything is about me even when it isn't..
    Bahaha... I'm just being a jerk. Idc either way.

  • Im bisexual + support equal rights = nuff said.

  • Pls don't involve Islam in this with all due respect,

  • I don't care lmao

  • Cause of civil rights.

  • I'm pretty sure it's because they were raised to be like that, and it makes them uncomfortable.

  • Equal rights for gays could mean that we live in a more equal society with less discrimination.

  • I agree with what bowshots86 said and also gay marriage is wrong and it should between a man and woman

  • i dont care about gay people as long as they dont show there stuff in front of me like kissing and what and dont talk to me unless there serving me in a shop, dont like them being more feminine then girls, wy do they need to put it on?

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