It's said that all girls dream of their wedding day and they picture exactly how it is going to be, down to every detail. I suppose that's why they refer to it as the "brides day" because women put a lot of thought and energy into it. However, much like most things in life this is where I differ from others. So, this is a take about weddings from a girl who doesn't picture her wedding day.
I've always known I wanted to be a wife and mother someday. I've known that since I was a little girl. It's just always something I felt I was destined to be and destined to have. I'm 31 now and I'll be 32 this year, so I'm aware that due to my unconventional life leading me in different directions then most people who are my age, I may very well never get the one thing I've always wanted. Whether my dreams come true or they don't, one fact remains and that is me knowing that I want to get married. However, I've never pictured what my wedding day would be like. I actually have no absolute clue what it would be like because for me the marriage is of more vital importance then the wedding day.
The wedding is one day, people come , they see, they eat, they dance, they get plastered and they leave lol. The marriage though is forever and that has my focus more then the wedding ever would.
Truth is, there's a lot of things women focus on in regards to weddings and things leading to the wedding. Things I have never actually given an ounce of thought to. So, let's go over some of those things.
Proposal:
I've seen a lot of articles online where women are upset because they didn't get the proposal they wanted or the engagement ring they picked. Now, I'm not judging anyone and if you have an artist sketch in your head of exactly how you want your proposal to be down to every detail (much like the wedding), that's completely and totally your right.
However, it kind of takes the surprise element out of getting engaged, if you already know about it or had a hand in making it happen.
For me I don't care how I'd be propose to or even if they didn't formally propose at all, just as long as I end up with the man I love what does it matter when or how he goes about doing so? I don't need to plan out how the proposal will be because if it ever does happen, I want it to be a surprise like it's suppose to be. I don't need to control that aspect.
Engagement Ring:
Engagements, are usually something that the guy plans at what he views as the right moment to ask the woman he loves to marry him. With that, comes the responsibility of picking out the ring he'll propose with. All of which, is meant to surprise his girlfriend who has no idea she's about to be an engaged woman.
However, there are women who know exactly what kind of ring they want, right down to the cut and style. If the guy chooses to go in a different direction and pick something other then the exact one she wants, those same women have been known to make a big deal out of it.
I've never thought about my engagement ring either. I'm not a flashy, in your face, type person, so I would never need a ring such as that. If it was his great-grandmothers, I'd be happy. If the diamond was fake, I'd be happy. If it wasn't a diamond at all, I'd be happy. As long as the ring is picked out with good intention and heart behind it, why do I care what it looks like? it's a symbol of a promise to get married. It's a symbol of one persons love to another. The sentimental value of it means more to me than the actual ring ever could.
The Wedding Dress:
Now, I know it's also said that women want a beautiful wedding dress that make them feel like a princess, they want the whole thing to be like a fairytale. I'm not a fancy person nor a fairytale one. I won't deny there's some beautiful wedding dresses out there but, I could never justify in my mind spending an absurd amount of money on something I'll wear one time and then stick in the closet, never to be worn again.
The way I see it, I'd be happy with just a white dress that I get for $25 dollars. As long as I think it's pretty and I feel pretty wearing it, that's all that matters.
The Wedding:
As I said in the beginning, I've never pictured or thought about the wedding day. Honestly, I skip pasted that part and think about the part where I'm married, have a house, have kids, all things that go with being married and having children, all the things about me that a guy would have to deal with and wonder if they could or even would want to. That's what I think about, the marriage and all that comes after that.
I don't really care about the wedding, I don't need it to be showy or flashy. I don't need to have fancy food and a cake as tall as the Eiffel Tower. I don't need any of that. I'm a simple person, so the simpler the better.
My own parents wedding was quite simple. My mom just wore a white dress and my dad had on a white suit (nothing fancy). They had the ceremony at a church with mainly family, then the reception was at my mom's parents house (my grandparents). They had a simple a cake and simple food (which may have been homemade but I'm not quite sure on that one). Either way, it was simple and non-complex.
Surprisingly enough, after 41 years of marriage they are still simple people. I grew up simple and nothing they did was ever over the top, just a nice happy simple life. That's how I was raised and that's how I am now. That's what I would want.
My own parents didn't even get formally engaged, they just both asked each other "when do you want to get married?" but they both knew there wasn't a need for a proposal because they just knew they'd get married. My parents got married 7 months after they met.
I have been to weddings that were big and fancy, the most recent was my cousins wedding in 2017. So, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with one picturing their wedding day or spending insane amounts of money to make their fairytale dream come to life.
I'm simply saying, I don't know what my wedding day would look like but I do know it would be filled with love and would be as simple as possible.
At the end of the day every woman has the right to dream about or have any type of wedding she wants. Being truly in love and sincerely happy is what it's all about. It's really all that matters.
P.S. Any example I gave in reference to myself, is not something I want but an example of what I mean when I say I'm a simple person.
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