A number of years ago I was talking with a guy about the subject of marriage. He had been married at the time for three years and this is what he had to say about it... "Do it!!! Marriage is the best, most reckless decision I've ever made"
I was starting to see a med-student I had met by chance in a veterinary waiting room. We hit it off and it lasted a few months. Esoteric difference ended its continuance, but that is how he segwayed the subject of marriage into the conversation.
Anyway, it's not a fear of marriage. It's a fear of divorce and losing everything that terrifies men. After seeing a few friends left essentially homeless after the divorce, I get it. I say this essentially because if not for the benevolence of friends and or family, they would indeed have become homeless in order to pay court ordered supports. I just could not allow that. She cheats and gets all the rewards and prizes while your pal earning six plus figures ends up in your spare room because he cannot afford even a $400 room to rent... there is just something wrong with that... and that is why men fear - divorce.
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To much sex lol
Because nowadays it's hard to believe or trust there are still loyal, fidelity partners out there that will stay committed to you for the rest of your life.
And the increased divorce rates over the years doesn't help matters either. Rather than work though their problems, they take the "easy"way out and divorce their partner.
Yeah, no thanks. You can get almost the same benefits of marriage just moving in and bring with someone. Marriage is just an expensive piece of paper and an overrated ceremony saying you love someone and want his last name.
I don't need that to feel fulfilled or happy. Just a devoted man that won't cheat and will be in my life.
Indecision and selfdoubt. Lack of commitment too. Let’s face it. Decades ago it was a shame to divorce now it seems everyone is divorced. It’s no big deal to just throw up your arms and be done with someone. Decades ago it was a “work it out no matter what” type of situation if the relationship was healthy mind you. I know i took my commitment seriously even tho it wasn’t a happy union for the most part and not the healthiest but i made a commitment. I didn’t think my husbands ignored health and some other things weren’t good enough reasons.
It means being considerate in planning anything in the future, because it affects the other person's life too, and also you have to be able to rely on another person to make smart choices that benefits both of you. In other words, both people have to be less selfish to make it work.. and most people don't want to be less selfish and don't trust that the other person can be less selfish either.
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There's a couple of determinants to explain this feeling people get. Having a loss of independent freedom scares people into thinking they can never go back to the life they once had as soon as the knots are tied. Another one is fear of commitment; this can either be from being afraid of falling out of love or uncertain if they want to spend the rest of their life with the same person. There's also the complications and heartbreak of divorce that people want to avoid since it's a stressful process.
This may explain why a lot less people are getting married and simply living together with someone so it's an easy way out in case the relationship falls apart. Marriage is a life-changing decision so it makes sense for people to be indecisive about this choice.Women are scared of the thought of having to get off the cock carousel.
Men are scared of the thought that they get all the risk and responsibility while she gets all the reward, and she can decide to cash out and any time and no matter how shitty of a wife she was, no matter how many drugs she did and how many other guys she fucked, she'll get everything except what he can fit in a suitcase, plus she'll get custody, plus he'll have to pay both Mommy's Party Fund Support AND Vagimony every month. All while living in his car.I've not been married, I have my reassons for that...
What I've seen of other people married... there are some great ones, that is the motivation. But I've seen really awsome, amazing beatiful quality people fail in marriages. That is one hell of a suffering... talked to males and females. Some marriages are zombies... live in roomates, no sex life or worse... they live in a house but don't even talk. It can go bad and the pain is real. You don't have enough $$$$$$$$$$$ to pay me to change my life for some of the ones I've seen.
That said, I'd still jump for joy if could make one work because marriage I think is better than single, a good one.Marriage. Everything about it. It's terrible.
It's supposed to be, and it should remain exclusive to, religious practice. Because when you take out the almighty God figure and leave fate up to the godless, whom most of which are cunts, it doesn't end up well... Well, doesn't fair well in supposedly religious homes either but I am assuming that a person that doesn't act like their supposed to in a religion really isn't that religious.
I get that it works for some people, but I'd think thats only because the relationship was working in the first place. All it really does is make terrible laws incriminating men over bullshit, holding them accountable to things that only made sense 5000yrs ago and perhaps tax benefits. If you removed all that takes half his money shit and kept it as just away to recieve tax benefits that would be fine then.It's mostly financial, for me. I hate, I mean I HATE, the idea that I could lose half my shit to her if things don't work out. Some jackass comes along and whispers into her ear for a few months, causes her to have an affair, and all the sudden I'm the one who has to lose his business, just because my wife is too stupid to realize when she's being manipulated.
From Male perspective:
- After divorce she gets automatically full custody
- she gets at Minimum 50% of your Shit and can get Up to 90% with a good lawyer
- she can call the Police and Tell them you raped her and they will believe her on the Spot
- the list goes onIt's getting the government involved in my relationship.. it's one of the most significantly legal things anyone can do.
Women initiate most divorces and for good reason.. divorce courts heavily favor women so as a man, I have way too much too much to lose.. to what end? For what purpose?
Involving the government in my love life? That's irrational.This is just a top off my head guess.. but I have seen these in my friends and relatives. Here are a few..
Being committed, lock down, no freedom, what’s mine is yours mentality, one partner (sex), responsibilities, growing up and being a man, being the sole provider of the house, spouses in laws/relatives (lol), money/finances.Here is the simple bottom line.
As a wife you can wake up one day , just divorce your husband get money from him, half his property and 90% or the time with your children.
You can do this at any time, any place, for any reason and the husband doesn't get a say at all.
Thus men get almost no advantage in marriage nowadays.
You can have love and companionship without marriage these can all come without ridiculous legal bindings.It's expensive for a maybe, social pressures for kids and difficult af to get out of it in some places if the other person doesn't want to let you leave. Plus in some states, marital rape is real and I'm not giving someone legal right to rape me. Fuck that.
The whole thing where she can just opt-out at any point she decides she's bored and get half my stuff plus almony for life...
Not to mention marriage offers men nothingCause marriage is a loss for guys as they lose half to almost all their assets in case of divorce. It's like an investment with heavy risk but no equal benefit.
Divorce usually fucking over the guy in terms of financial assets.
As my dad told me,
“She can wake up one morning, not want to be married anymore... and there’s nothing u can do about it.”
Now THAT is scary!What scares many (men) about marriage is:
1. The cost of the wedding.
2. Finding out after the wedding what you didn't know before, and realising that you could have held out for something closer to what you want.
3. What you stand to lose if things don't work out.
4. Having to deal with the person's drama and/or baggage.
5. How you will raise kids.For a man there is no benefit to get married plus society and the government is against men. It’s a rigged game for men.
We’re not afraid of marriage we’re afraid of divorce
If you had to share your money in case a divorce happens. I feel for some men that underwent that.
Basically, losing your money that took your time, energy and effort to get and being forced to give it to someone else just for the sake of it.That forever isn’t forever. The divorce rate is so high these days.
People are scared of declaring a major in school, pursuing a career path, because the idea of it sounds permanent. That's the idea.
it's not an easy choice to make and no one wants to live with regret like that. That's how i see it.The fact that most people would expect their spouse to have sex even when they don’t want to
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