What makes the idea of marriage seem scary for some people?

Question

MannMitAntworten · Accepted Answer

A number of years ago I was talking with a guy about the subject of marriage. He had been married at the time for three years and this is what he had to say about it... "Do it!!! Marriage is the best, most reckless decision I've ever made"

I was starting to see a med-student I had met by chance in a veterinary waiting room. We hit it off and it lasted a few months. Esoteric difference ended its continuance, but that is how he segwayed the subject of marriage into the conversation.

Anyway, it's not a fear of marriage. It's a fear of divorce and losing everything that terrifies men. After seeing a few friends left essentially homeless after the divorce, I get it. I say this essentially because if not for the benevolence of friends and or family, they would indeed have become homeless in order to pay court ordered supports. I just could not allow that. She cheats and gets all the rewards and prizes while your pal earning six plus figures ends up in your spare room because he cannot afford even a $400 room to rent... there is just something wrong with that... and that is why men fear - divorce.

weaverman · Accepted Answer

To much sex lol

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Because nowadays it's hard to believe or trust there are still loyal, fidelity partners out there that will stay committed to you for the rest of your life.

And the increased divorce rates over the years doesn't help matters either. Rather than work though their problems, they take the "easy"way out and divorce their partner.

Yeah, no thanks. You can get almost the same benefits of marriage just moving in and bring with someone. Marriage is just an expensive piece of paper and an overrated ceremony saying you love someone and want his last name.

I don't need that to feel fulfilled or happy. Just a devoted man that won't cheat and will be in my life.

Mickey9999 · Accepted Answer

Indecision and selfdoubt. Lack of commitment too. Let’s face it. Decades ago it was a shame to divorce now it seems everyone is divorced. It’s no big deal to just throw up your arms and be done with someone. Decades ago it was a “work it out no matter what” type of situation if the relationship was healthy mind you. I know i took my commitment seriously even tho it wasn’t a happy union for the most part and not the healthiest but i made a commitment. I didn’t think my husbands ignored health and some other things weren’t good enough reasons.

bubble_tea · Accepted Answer

It means being considerate in planning anything in the future, because it affects the other person's life too, and also you have to be able to rely on another person to make smart choices that benefits both of you. In other words, both people have to be less selfish to make it work.. and most people don't want to be less selfish and don't trust that the other person can be less selfish either.

Aysen · Answer

There's a couple of determinants to explain this feeling people get. Having a loss of independent freedom scares people into thinking they can never go back to the life they once had as soon as the knots are tied. Another one is fear of commitment; this can either be from being afraid of falling out of love or uncertain if they want to spend the rest of their life with the same person. There's also the complications and heartbreak of divorce that people want to avoid since it's a stressful process.

This may explain why a lot less people are getting married and simply living together with someone so it's an easy way out in case the relationship falls apart. Marriage is a life-changing decision so it makes sense for people to be indecisive about this choice.

Barrabus_the_Free · Answer

Women are scared of the thought of having to get off the cock carousel.

Men are scared of the thought that they get all the risk and responsibility while she gets all the reward, and she can decide to cash out and any time and no matter how shitty of a wife she was, no matter how many drugs she did and how many other guys she fucked, she'll get everything except what he can fit in a suitcase, plus she'll get custody, plus he'll have to pay both Mommy's Party Fund Support AND Vagimony every month. All while living in his car.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I've not been married, I have my reassons for that...
What I've seen of other people married... there are some great ones, that is the motivation. But I've seen really awsome, amazing beatiful quality people fail in marriages. That is one hell of a suffering... talked to males and females. Some marriages are zombies... live in roomates, no sex life or worse... they live in a house but don't even talk. It can go bad and the pain is real. You don't have enough $$$$$$$$$$$ to pay me to change my life for some of the ones I've seen.
That said, I'd still jump for joy if could make one work because marriage I think is better than single, a good one.

Spawnface · Answer

Marriage. Everything about it. It's terrible.

It's supposed to be, and it should remain exclusive to, religious practice. Because when you take out the almighty God figure and leave fate up to the godless, whom most of which are cunts, it doesn't end up well... Well, doesn't fair well in supposedly religious homes either but I am assuming that a person that doesn't act like their supposed to in a religion really isn't that religious.

I get that it works for some people, but I'd think thats only because the relationship was working in the first place. All it really does is make terrible laws incriminating men over bullshit, holding them accountable to things that only made sense 5000yrs ago and perhaps tax benefits. If you removed all that takes half his money shit and kept it as just away to recieve tax benefits that would be fine then.

winterfox10 · Answer

It's mostly financial, for me. I hate, I mean I HATE, the idea that I could lose half my shit to her if things don't work out. Some jackass comes along and whispers into her ear for a few months, causes her to have an affair, and all the sudden I'm the one who has to lose his business, just because my wife is too stupid to realize when she's being manipulated.

bill_towers · Answer

From Male perspective:
- After divorce she gets automatically full custody
- she gets at Minimum 50% of your Shit and can get Up to 90% with a good lawyer
- she can call the Police and Tell them you raped her and they will believe her on the Spot
- the list goes on

Juxtapose · Answer

It's getting the government involved in my relationship.. it's one of the most significantly legal things anyone can do.

Women initiate most divorces and for good reason.. divorce courts heavily favor women so as a man, I have way too much too much to lose.. to what end? For what purpose?

Involving the government in my love life? That's irrational.

Respectful_N_Kind · Answer

This is just a top off my head guess.. but I have seen these in my friends and relatives. Here are a few..

Being committed, lock down, no freedom, what’s mine is yours mentality, one partner (sex), responsibilities, growing up and being a man, being the sole provider of the house, spouses in laws/relatives (lol), money/finances.

A-man-22 · Answer

Here is the simple bottom line.

As a wife you can wake up one day , just divorce your husband get money from him, half his property and 90% or the time with your children.

You can do this at any time, any place, for any reason and the husband doesn't get a say at all.

Thus men get almost no advantage in marriage nowadays.

You can have love and companionship without marriage these can all come without ridiculous legal bindings.

BlackDawn · Answer

It's expensive for a maybe, social pressures for kids and difficult af to get out of it in some places if the other person doesn't want to let you leave. Plus in some states, marital rape is real and I'm not giving someone legal right to rape me. Fuck that.

jessture · Answer

The whole thing where she can just opt-out at any point she decides she's bored and get half my stuff plus almony for life... Not to mention marriage offers men nothing

sasukeuchiha7 · Answer

Cause marriage is a loss for guys as they lose half to almost all their assets in case of divorce. It's like an investment with heavy risk but no equal benefit.

Prof_Don · Answer

Divorce usually fucking over the guy in terms of financial assets.

As my dad told me,

“She can wake up one morning, not want to be married anymore... and there’s nothing u can do about it.”

Now THAT is scary!

Dchrls78104 · Answer

What scares many (men) about marriage is:
1. The cost of the wedding.
2. Finding out after the wedding what you didn't know before, and realising that you could have held out for something closer to what you want.
3. What you stand to lose if things don't work out.
4. Having to deal with the person's drama and/or baggage.
5. How you will raise kids.

kbbroiler · Answer

For a man there is no benefit to get married plus society and the government is against men. It’s a rigged game for men.

CaliGirl99 · Answer

If you had to share your money in case a divorce happens. I feel for some men that underwent that.

Basically, losing your money that took your time, energy and effort to get and being forced to give it to someone else just for the sake of it.

massb · Answer

We’re not afraid of marriage we’re afraid of divorce

browneyes13 · Answer

That forever isn’t forever. The divorce rate is so high these days.

Ripper_E · Answer

People are scared of declaring a major in school, pursuing a career path, because the idea of it sounds permanent. That's the idea.
it's not an easy choice to make and no one wants to live with regret like that. That's how i see it.

beebella · Answer

A lot of guys hear these horror stories about marriage and divorce, so they decide to just not get married.
I'm not scared of marriage, it's the wedding pressure that I don't want to deal with. So if I decide to get married one day, I most likely won't have a beautiful, extravagant wedding.

Sweatyotterr · Answer

Divorce rape plus most end in failure and it does not look like fun at all

Ellie-V · Answer

The fact that most people would expect their spouse to have sex even when they don’t want to

Ankitasingh466 · Answer

For me it's more of fun. I'm married and now I can irritate my hubby a lot. 😂.

Clarke498 · Answer

The whole economy around it. Don't get why a prenup is so stigmatized.

AND OF COURSE PEOPLE IS SCARED OF MARRIAGE! It's maybe the only choice you're gonna make in your whole life that lasts forever. Of course that's scary.

ImagineSketchy · Answer

Legal binding contracts, having to "settle down", it's monogamy and some people aren't for that.

Sarisalive · Answer

Because some people fear commitment and intimacy. And sometimes some people don’t want to be with one person for the rest of their lives

awkwardman · Answer

I have watched people cheat more times that i can to know, both when and before marriage. I have see more people back stab others and few help others. So to me marriage is a hard to do since i can't trust people like that anymore

wiseyoungman · Answer

Not being allowed to have sex with other people for the rest of your life

WhoDatGuy · Answer

It's not scary, it's stupid. Why would I risk half of my total worth for a piece of paper that can only work against me?

Thatsamazing · Answer

A loss of independence. Especially for the guy. Which is why, deep down, most guys don't want to get married.

coolbreeze · Answer

Being tied down forever to the same person seems scary enough.

AynonOMouse · Answer

The possibility of divorce and the woman stealing much of what the guy has/has earned/worked for.  That is really the only problem I have with it.

lanabug · Answer

Marriage is expensive, some are afraid commitment, and there's the possibility of divorce. Divorce is one of my biggest fears if I get married.

kitty71 · Answer

Committment to just one person , stay only with one person for the rest of their life whcih mean being monogamous, . Loss of freedom

boggboss · Answer

It makes breaking up a bitch to deal with if thay happens

LegendarySir · Answer

Marrying the wrong person. Not being completely sure they want to spend the rest of their life with the same person. Being screwed over if there's a divorce. Being cheated on.

needhelp777 · Answer

Divorcing.  U dont want someone to out of nowhere to divorce u  And etc

dipeshb · Answer

Considering the stats. One should get married with 50% probability of divorce. No one sticks around for whole life.

CT_CD · Answer

If the marriage fails then you have to go through the ordeal of a divorce. At least when you’re not married, you can just walk out the door and never look back.

Ilikethings · Answer

Mine is for the person being unfaithful. I wouldn’t like sharing everything with someone and then them cheating. Splitting everythjng is painful

Slim57 · Answer

The idea of them just getting up one day and deciding they don't love you anymore, I'm good thanks

Mimi1721 · Answer

Lack of commitment. Nobody wants to be tied down, when you are just dating you can break up easier, it’d still be hard but at least there is no paperwork. You know how the saying goes, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”

Jo1991 · Answer

Commitment is scary especially as lots of people hide their true selves whilst dating

Finchie40 · Answer

Probably the fact that they are choosing. to be with just 1 person , that they can't act single anymore , comes down to being selfish

RinXD · Answer

Because they realise they can't fuck who they want with out legal ramifications now

Ninakaran · Answer

For men, having sex with only one woman for the rest of their lives.

megaman242 · Answer

Because all the relationship they ever had up to this point have ended, so marriage is scarry because it might end just like all the rest

Aphrodite8789 · Answer

It’s just a ring on two fingers. Many man thots try to place emphasis on it tho

Piteka5 · Answer

Modern culture lacks commitment in basically every aspect, relationships too

Peachbae · Answer

It's the level of the commitment that scares people

crazy8000 · Answer

The same reason those the opposite way to not get married ;)

mohamed199 · Answer

I think the reason is fear of assuming responsibility and the other reason is that men want sex only is not true love and family work

RyanEvans13 · Answer

Probably the thought of being with that person the rest of your life

GreenGold1992 · Answer

It's a big change that requires a lot of responsibility and maturity

geminiboner · Answer

I'm not scared of commitment, I just refuse to contribute to this world.

Desconhecida · Answer

The part that says: ..."til death take you apart" ... 😱⚠️

Paris13 · Answer

"Till Death Do Us Part..."xx

JessyCostello · Answer

Commitment and expectations to be meet

cjennaa · Answer

Being miserable... its just so permanent

bhavy24 · Answer

Divorce, fights, independence is lost

What makes the idea of marriage seem scary for some people?

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