What makes the idea of marriage seem scary for some people?

[Pinay_ako]

Scared of getting married?

[MannMitAntworten]

A number of years ago I was talking with a guy about the subject of marriage. He had been married at the time for three years and this is what he had to say about it... "Do it!!! Marriage is the best, most reckless decision I've ever made"

I was starting to see a med-student I had met by chance in a veterinary waiting room. We hit it off and it lasted a few months. Esoteric difference ended its continuance, but that is how he segwayed the subject of marriage into the conversation.

Anyway, it's not a fear of marriage. It's a fear of divorce and losing everything that terrifies men. After seeing a few friends left essentially homeless after the divorce, I get it. I say this essentially because if not for the benevolence of friends and or family, they would indeed have become homeless in order to pay court ordered supports. I just could not allow that. She cheats and gets all the rewards and prizes while your pal earning six plus figures ends up in your spare room because he cannot afford even a $400 room to rent... there is just something wrong with that... and that is why men fear - divorce.

[weaverman]

To much sex lol

[Pinay_ako]

damn lol good for you

[weaverman]

I meant for some woman the thought of sex every night is off putting lol

[Cynicaldreamer]

Because nowadays it's hard to believe or trust there are still loyal, fidelity partners out there that will stay committed to you for the rest of your life.

And the increased divorce rates over the years doesn't help matters either. Rather than work though their problems, they take the "easy"way out and divorce their partner.

Yeah, no thanks. You can get almost the same benefits of marriage just moving in and bring with someone. Marriage is just an expensive piece of paper and an overrated ceremony saying you love someone and want his last name.

I don't need that to feel fulfilled or happy. Just a devoted man that won't cheat and will be in my life.

[hindril]

I feel the same way! Marriage is just a piece of paper. It is what the two feel in their hearts that matters.

[massb]

Thank you , you may be the smartest most genuine woman alive

[bklynbadboy1]

You can get the same benefits from moving in with somebody but you're missing out on a lot what mattress does is it protects you legally as well you may move in with somebody and buy a house with them and if they pass away then their family comes and snatch the house from you cuz you have no legal right to it especially if it's in someone else's name no matter how much money you spent on it. knowledge is only bad when you marry the wrong person if you marry the right person has the most beautiful thing in the world my mom and my dad have been married for 38 years and they're happy so it depends on who you marry don't get married for the wrong reasons when you marry somebody marry them for what's in that brain not because of how they look or how they make you feel sexually that's the problem that people have nowadays and that's why the divorce rate is so high that marrying for all the wrong reasons

[Mickey9999]

Indecision and selfdoubt. Lack of commitment too. Let’s face it. Decades ago it was a shame to divorce now it seems everyone is divorced. It’s no big deal to just throw up your arms and be done with someone. Decades ago it was a “work it out no matter what” type of situation if the relationship was healthy mind you. I know i took my commitment seriously even tho it wasn’t a happy union for the most part and not the healthiest but i made a commitment. I didn’t think my husbands ignored health and some other things weren’t good enough reasons.

[bubble_tea]

It means being considerate in planning anything in the future, because it affects the other person's life too, and also you have to be able to rely on another person to make smart choices that benefits both of you. In other words, both people have to be less selfish to make it work.. and most people don't want to be less selfish and don't trust that the other person can be less selfish either.

[Aysen]

There's a couple of determinants to explain this feeling people get. Having a loss of independent freedom scares people into thinking they can never go back to the life they once had as soon as the knots are tied. Another one is fear of commitment; this can either be from being afraid of falling out of love or uncertain if they want to spend the rest of their life with the same person. There's also the complications and heartbreak of divorce that people want to avoid since it's a stressful process.

This may explain why a lot less people are getting married and simply living together with someone so it's an easy way out in case the relationship falls apart. Marriage is a life-changing decision so it makes sense for people to be indecisive about this choice.

[VIVANT]

These were always issues though. It can explain why people avoid it gdbrally but not why _less_ people are getting married now.

[Aysen]

@VIVANT A lot of people may view marriage as an outdated tradition that only creates more complications as opposed to simply being together with someone with no commitment strings attached. I'd still believe it's mainly commitment that's scaring people away from marriage after all the cases you hear about divorce that occurred and court cases related to the subject.

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Women are scared of the thought of having to get off the cock carousel.

Men are scared of the thought that they get all the risk and responsibility while she gets all the reward, and she can decide to cash out and any time and no matter how shitty of a wife she was, no matter how many drugs she did and how many other guys she fucked, she'll get everything except what he can fit in a suitcase, plus she'll get custody, plus he'll have to pay both Mommy's Party Fund Support AND Vagimony every month. All while living in his car.

[angelin]

Wow j never looked at it that way before. You know some pretty f up gurls that hadn’t grown up

[Barrabus_the_Free]

@angelin

I wish. I know some very average women. I know they're average because guys I talk to that are thousands of miles away and have never been to the places I've lived have seen the exact same thing. Across time zones, across languages, across cultures, women are all the same.

The worst part isn't how they are though. The worst part is all the lies that are told to make it appear that they're not that way.

[lightbulb27]

I've not been married, I have my reassons for that...
What I've seen of other people married... there are some great ones, that is the motivation. But I've seen really awsome, amazing beatiful quality people fail in marriages. That is one hell of a suffering... talked to males and females. Some marriages are zombies... live in roomates, no sex life or worse... they live in a house but don't even talk. It can go bad and the pain is real. You don't have enough $$$$$$$$$$$ to pay me to change my life for some of the ones I've seen.
That said, I'd still jump for joy if could make one work because marriage I think is better than single, a good one.

[Spawnface]

Marriage. Everything about it. It's terrible.

It's supposed to be, and it should remain exclusive to, religious practice. Because when you take out the almighty God figure and leave fate up to the godless, whom most of which are cunts, it doesn't end up well... Well, doesn't fair well in supposedly religious homes either but I am assuming that a person that doesn't act like their supposed to in a religion really isn't that religious.

I get that it works for some people, but I'd think thats only because the relationship was working in the first place. All it really does is make terrible laws incriminating men over bullshit, holding them accountable to things that only made sense 5000yrs ago and perhaps tax benefits. If you removed all that takes half his money shit and kept it as just away to recieve tax benefits that would be fine then.

[winterfox10]

It's mostly financial, for me. I hate, I mean I HATE, the idea that I could lose half my shit to her if things don't work out. Some jackass comes along and whispers into her ear for a few months, causes her to have an affair, and all the sudden I'm the one who has to lose his business, just because my wife is too stupid to realize when she's being manipulated.

[bill_towers]

From Male perspective:
- After divorce she gets automatically full custody
- she gets at Minimum 50% of your Shit and can get Up to 90% with a good lawyer
- she can call the Police and Tell them you raped her and they will believe her on the Spot
- the list goes on

[bill_towers]

It has Zero benefits for men.

[Juxtapose]

It's getting the government involved in my relationship.. it's one of the most significantly legal things anyone can do.

Women initiate most divorces and for good reason.. divorce courts heavily favor women so as a man, I have way too much too much to lose.. to what end? For what purpose?

Involving the government in my love life? That's irrational.

[Respectful_N_Kind]

This is just a top off my head guess.. but I have seen these in my friends and relatives. Here are a few..

Being committed, lock down, no freedom, what’s mine is yours mentality, one partner (sex), responsibilities, growing up and being a man, being the sole provider of the house, spouses in laws/relatives (lol), money/finances.

[A-man-22]

Here is the simple bottom line.

As a wife you can wake up one day , just divorce your husband get money from him, half his property and 90% or the time with your children.

You can do this at any time, any place, for any reason and the husband doesn't get a say at all.

Thus men get almost no advantage in marriage nowadays.

You can have love and companionship without marriage these can all come without ridiculous legal bindings.

[Dchrls78104]

Actually, in some places, they do. In my country, for example, if a woman cohabits with a guy for at least 5 years, she has essentially the same rights as the legally married woman.

[A-man-22]

That's Terrible. What country is that?

[BlackDawn]

It's expensive for a maybe, social pressures for kids and difficult af to get out of it in some places if the other person doesn't want to let you leave. Plus in some states, marital rape is real and I'm not giving someone legal right to rape me. Fuck that.

[jessture]

The whole thing where she can just opt-out at any point she decides she's bored and get half my stuff plus almony for life...

Not to mention marriage offers men nothing

[sasukeuchiha7]

Cause marriage is a loss for guys as they lose half to almost all their assets in case of divorce. It's like an investment with heavy risk but no equal benefit.

[Hanzyxw]

Well it not like they got everything by himself if he is married the wife helped

[Ultimate_Gohan]

Nor really. Its always the guys doing most of the effort in marriages

[Hanzyxw]

Wife’s help even indirectly if not working doing housework doing laundry and stuff or even helping you decide how to behavior at the work

[sasukeuchiha7]

What if it's something he had before the marriage. If he had a business before she met him. She hasn't helped in that. Most guys usually are set up before. They don't get married before being financially stable and self sufficient

[Hanzyxw]

It is important to have a second opinion even if he owns it already two heads are better than one she might think about something the guy never though can it make it even more successful

[bamesjond0069]

@Hanzyxw not usually the case. Im single and have a multimillion dollar business. Last girl i dated was a hairdresser. She should not under any circumstance be entitled to even one penny of my business.

[Hanzyxw]

That doesn’t mean a wife could not be helpful for you it means you are not good finding smart women to date ;) good that you are smart enough for yourself but nobody is always on the top and definitely a trustful opinion could help at some point find a smart wife quick

[bamesjond0069]

@Hanzyxw not really. Im not going to be with a woman for her business acumen. Im not a cuck seeking a sugar mama. And so when i lived in a hotel and ate ramen every day where was she? Coming in when im 100 percent established contributes essentially nothing. I dont need any help. If i did id hire more employees.

[Hanzyxw]

Well getting married is a choice not everyone wants it. Doesn’t mean it is not useful for both on it I am sure both have things to lose since keeping married means also thinking about the other person their happiness many times instead of you own having something more real then only people interested on your money. But the thing is both have things to lose but depends on what they want accomplished having a structured family someday for example

[bamesjond0069]

@Hanzyxw yeah i mean i have to have a prenup. Im pretty attractive to gold diggers.

[Hanzyxw]

Don’t let they know you are rich. They need like you before that to be real lol

[bamesjond0069]

@Hanzyxw well its hard to have a conversation and not let it out. I wear nice clothes have a nice house have expensive hobbies dont punch a clock 9 to 5... how do i not talk about it?

[Prof_Don]

Divorce usually fucking over the guy in terms of financial assets.

As my dad told me,

“She can wake up one morning, not want to be married anymore... and there’s nothing u can do about it.”

Now THAT is scary!

[Dchrls78104]

What scares many (men) about marriage is:
1. The cost of the wedding.
2. Finding out after the wedding what you didn't know before, and realising that you could have held out for something closer to what you want.
3. What you stand to lose if things don't work out.
4. Having to deal with the person's drama and/or baggage.
5. How you will raise kids.

[kbbroiler]

For a man there is no benefit to get married plus society and the government is against men. It’s a rigged game for men.

[massb]

We’re not afraid of marriage we’re afraid of divorce

[CaliGirl99]

If you had to share your money in case a divorce happens. I feel for some men that underwent that.

Basically, losing your money that took your time, energy and effort to get and being forced to give it to someone else just for the sake of it.

[browneyes13]

That forever isn’t forever. The divorce rate is so high these days.

[Ripper_E]

People are scared of declaring a major in school, pursuing a career path, because the idea of it sounds permanent. That's the idea.
it's not an easy choice to make and no one wants to live with regret like that. That's how i see it.

[Ellie-V]

The fact that most people would expect their spouse to have sex even when they don’t want to