Not attending my future sil’s wedding?

[nisha1025]

My future sister in law is getting married. I am not going to be attending the wedding. She is rude, snobby, controlling, disrespectful, loud, selfish, and etc. She is awful to her brother (my fiancé), and yes I’m getting married as well. I am doing a courthouse wedding, and don’t care if she attends that or the dinner afterwards. She is rude at times to her parents, and we are not close. I tried to establish an involvement, but it was one sided. I gave up. I can tell she doesn’t not care for me. I’m empathic, and pick up on everything. I read people pretty well, and so I know. I sit back, and observe. I am not projecting. She can do no wrong in her parents eyes, and seems to be the favorite of her siblings. I do not like her at all. She annoys me, and I am just.. I’d rather not deal with her. Am I wrong? I think I am not.

[Ozanne]

I know how you feel. I can't stand my sister-in-law but went to my brother's wedding anyway. The day is not about you, it's about them, mainly your brother. How bad can it be to just go, witness the ceremony, have a glass of wine and a few crackers and cheese? Besides, there are a lot more people there to spend time with while you're there because the bride is usually pretty busy anyway. You're not even going to talk to her, and if you do, it's just to say hi and that's it.

A wedding shouldn't be a place where you take a stand on your feelings. You wouldn't like it if someone did that to you on your wedding day, so don't do that to your brother. Weddings are monumental days to remember things, so just keep it low key otherwise it will be something the entire family will remember, and for the wrong reasons. Just my two cents. :)

[nisha1025]

It’s my fiancé’s sister. I am not doing a big wedding, and won’t be inviting anyone except for my parents/ his. You’ve a point. Thank you.

[spartan55]

@Ozanne
"A wedding shouldn't be a place to take a stand on your feelings"
Some of the advice I've seen on here. 👍

[nisha1025]

I’m just one of those people, I can not be fake about my feelings/ facial expressions, and etc.

[spartan55]

@nisha1025
No one is suggesting you be fake, but anyone can be tolerated for a few hours.

[nisha1025]

I know.

[spartan55]

@nisha1025
Hopefully you will decide to go. I think you will regret it if you don't.

[nisha1025]

I’m soo stubborn, but I will possibly consider it.

[Ozanne]

Sorry, yes, you're fiance's brother.. as I typed I had my own brother's wedding on my brain. :)

[Alyssa11]

I think that if I were in your shoes, I’d let it go and just let things flow for the sake of the relationship I’d have with my brother and the rest of the family. Actually a lot of the time I have strong feelings against some of my cousins or aunts etc but I make the effort to be polite in settings that I’m forced to see them in. I don’t like them at all but I keep it to myself, and it’s probably quite clear anyway by the boundaries I set with them.

[chriss]

Many people make the mistake of forcing themselves to go to an event because its family.

If there is a toxic family member then you should stay away just like staying away from friends.

There is no point going through with it just because its considered family.

A friend could care more about you than a family member.

[nisha1025]

I agree with you 100 percent. Thank you.

[spartan55]

A few reasons why you should go: it will hurt your brothers feelings, and will never forget it (your whole family) for that matter. You will also be drawing attention to yourself, and not in a good way. I get that the woman is a gold star bitch, but tell yourself the wedding is about your brother. Suck it up, it one day.

[nisha1025]

It’s not my brother. It’s my fiancé’s sister.

[nisha1025]

You however, have a point.

[spartan55]

Okay, substitute fiance for brother then.

[nisha1025]

Thanks

[Anonymous]

I had the same situation with my (then) future brother-in-law. He was/is exactly what you described, if not worse. When he got married (and is now divorced - no surprise there), I didn't attend his wedding either.

[nisha1025]

I do not blame you one bit, and yikes.

[nisha1025]

Thank you.

[Avicenna]

It’s understandable you fontxesnt to, but you’re the better person if you go. That way she can’t hold it against you that you didn’t attend.

[nisha1025]

I’m always trying to be to be the bigger person though. I am at a place in my life where, I am trying to protect my energy/ time. As it is valuable. You are right though.

[nisha1025]

Thank you

[Avicenna]

you're welcome. It’s only onecevent, butvitceull allow you more freedom to blow her off in the future

[Dave31989]

Every wedding I've ever been to, as far as I can remember, something bad has happened to ME

So, I will not be going to any more weddings until someone can prove to me there's no such thing as bad luck at weddings

[KrakenAttackin]

If she is the favorite of the siblings and "can do no wrong" in view of her parents, you might assess if you are at least a part of the problem.

[nisha1025]

I’m not. I just see what goes on around me. I watch the interactions, and how she treats everyone. My fiancé has had issues with his parents, because of her. I see him being affected, and that my heart right there.

[nisha1025]

She is awful to people, and I just can not deal with it.

[zagor]

Does your fiance care if you go? If so, you could make an appearance at the ceremony and then vanish.

[Anonymous]

that is fine. it is your decision

[nisha1025]

Thank you.

[Bhavin2184]

Don't go..

[Jmmmfi4]

I wouldn't go