Going to a wedding without me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating seriously for almost a year. We tell each other everything and say that we love each other. We are in a long distance relationship but we talk every single day. He has come to visit me three times since we met and I have visited him once. I believe that some of his friends know about our relationship but not all of them. Recently he told me that a female long time friend got married but will be having a reception a few months later in Mexico. He has been asked to go and gave me all the details of the sleeping arrangments and when it will be.

I trust my boyfriend and I don't feel a need to be concerned although that will be a very romantic and memorable event and location.

It does hurt my feelings a little that he didn't ask me if I would like to attend as well. Is it too soon for me to expect to be invited to join him? I have not met his family or friends yet and it worries me a little that he hasn't made a plan to introduce me but he has met my sisiter and knows my child and spends time with us as a family when he is here.

[Jawless]

Well, I can't say the same about my girlfriend going to a different country, but I have shared similar experiences to you twice, as both times she had to go to a wedding and a reception without me being concerned, and I'm the type of 'slightly jealous but mostly just inferior' guy that events which you are unprepared for, really throws you off.

We are long distance too, and at the time of the first wedding, I didn't really know her family and only her guardian had got to know me, really. So it was a shock, because the wedding itself was going to both put her in a romantic location and also put her in slightly revealing clothing, a somewhat tight bridesmaid outfit. In front of family friends, and such. She's also the type to sit quietly and is quite attractive, so she could of been approached and...well yeah. You know how your mind works, it'll find all the wrong things and struggle to find the right things.

The second time is basically the same, as it featured her Dad getting married to someone else, and his side of her family had never met me at all, and the family had a somewhat reputation for liking the physical side of relationships, so I was worried the friends they surrounded themselves with would rub off on her. Was another wedding I couldn't go to, and again I got those stupid thoughts and feelings, and a lot of worry.

But I don't think it was appropriate for both times for me to go, regardless of how long the relationship had been going on, because it wasn't anything to do with me, and I would of been a complete stranger, almost an intruder, and it could of been a black mark on a perfect day. If you know what I mean?

He might of mentioned you to his family, but doesn't feel comfortable or secure enough in the relationship to want to introduce you to his family, perhaps out of worry that if the relationship ends a few weeks/months later, it'll make getting over you harder, since his family will want to comfort him instead of just treat him normally - might sound odd, but not being reminded of what you just lost is better than people telling you it's alright.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, to be fair. Just that I think personally it isn't time for you to be introduced to the family events such as weddings and receptions, despite how loving and fufilling the relationship is. You shouldn't think anything bad of his decision not to include you, because it was likely out of protection reasons than him not caring, or by spite.

Hope that's answered your question to your liking. :)

[CatholicVirginia]

Does he have permission to bring a guest? If you haven't met his family yet, then you might not be invited. It might have just been him.

Also, if you were, he just might not think that a wedding, where everyone is celebrating the OTHER couple, would be a good time to introduce his serious girlfriend.